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If You Have A Weird Sister, Never Leave Her Alone

If You Have A Weird Sister, Never Leave Her Alone

In most groups of siblings, there is always the weird one. They’re the one that you have to protect from bullies, prevent from wearing their bras outside their shirts and keep away from your friends until they reach a certain age. But once you’re grown up, having a weird sister is actually one of the best experiences you’ll ever have.

If you have a weird sister, you have a life-long friend, a partner-in-crime and someone who totally gets it when your parents do bizarre things. Here are eight reasons you should never leave her alone:

1. They Don’t Expect You to Be Perfect

The best thing about having a weird sister is that she accepts that she is imperfect and does not expect you to be perfect. She does not care when you mess up or make a choice that she disagrees with. She encourages you to take risks, even when failure is highly likely.

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In fact, it is better if you’re not perfect. Then, no one will try to compare the two of you. You’ll both be free to make your own mistakes and learn from them without living in the other’s shadow.

2. They Are Unique and Cannot Be Replaced

You’ll spend your life waiting for that one person who is like no one else. You’ll wait and search and occasionally find a person who you think might be the one. However, you’re more often than not disappointed by the person that once held so much potential.

But the truth is if you have a weird sister, there’s no need to look further. You already found the person in your life who can never be replaced.

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3. They Encourage You to Be Yourself

She will be herself almost 100% of the time. Living with that is infuriating until you realize that if she can do it, so can you.

4. They Don’t Care What People Think About Them

She is herself because she doesn’t care what people think about her. She can be who she wants, do what she wants and act how she wants because she couldn’t care less about what anyone thinks. She is liberated and free. However, she’ll still need her sister when someone gets through her armor.

5. They’ll Take Your Weird Ideas and Make Them Weirder

Weird people don’t necessarily have to make normal things weird. But they can encourage you to make weird things weirder. If you casually suggest a road trip, they’ll have you in a car travelling Route 66 in no time. When you have a weird sister, you can feed on each other’s weirdness and find the true limits of your imagination.

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6. They Don’t Care About Daily Drama

She’s thoughtful and creative and kind of weird. But she doesn’t care if you stole her shirt. She doesn’t care if you don’t agree with her choices. You know that if you have a weird sister, you’re not going to fight about the petty things and if you do fight, it is a fight worth having.

7. They Made You Who You Are

Your sister literally helped make you into the person you are. They were there as you grew and developed and much of your childhood was spent reacting to them. You can thank them for helping to foster the best parts of your personality.

8. They Understand Pretty Much Everything

Weird sisters are not closed minded. You can say the weirdest things to them and even if they don’t actually get it, they still get where you’re coming from. That kind of validation is essential on days where you’re pretty sure you’re losing your mind.

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The truth is there is nothing better than having a sister; unless, you have a weird sister. Then, you’ve won the sibling lottery.

Featured photo credit: Josh Felise via stocksnap.io

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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