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Signs That You Seem To Be An Evil Person But You’re Actually Kindhearted

Signs That You Seem To Be An Evil Person But You’re Actually Kindhearted

We live in a society where it is becoming more difficult to draw the lines between good and evil. People tend to wear a persona or cloak to show that they are strong and tough. This sort of intimidating appearance can be scary to certain persons who would have loved to come around and appreciate who you truly are. On the other hand, being kindhearted is actually an attractive quality that brings people closer to you.

It is possible to distinguish someone who is kindhearted but has this fake protective persona of being evil from the real thing. People may tell you you’re mean or evil, but you know that’s not true. Here are some signs you may identify with.

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You don’t smile often

You have a stern appearance. While this might seem cold or unattractive, it is not who you are. You simply don’t want to be taken advantage of or you are trying to know who you are dealing with before you open up with a cheerful outlook. Yes, others may consider this awkward, but you have understood that your appearance has helped you in the past to make better judgment of those around you.

You don’t ask others for help, claiming independence instead

You don’t want to be a burden on other people’s time or resources, so you quietly attain independence and live in a cocoon that establishes that image of defensiveness. You can give, but since people see that you are always doing things yourself, they feel that you do not need them around you. It is not as if you would not love the support of others or offer yours, it’s just that you are more meticulous in your dealings with others. At the end of the day, this could imply that you only give to others when it is necessary.

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You make no promises or commitments, but you always give a piece of yourself

You are not accustomed to making promises and offering false assurances. This may seem as if you do not care about what the other person is proposing or requesting, but you would rather take action instead of making promises. This action can be very selective.

You hope for the best, but you know that life is unfair

There is nothing interesting or fascinating about certain compromises we have to make or the losses we have to bear. You look at life from a very realistic angle and see it for what it is. This does not mean that you do not hope, expect the best, or are not willing to contribute to the world around you.

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You follow your guts rather than try to please others

You do things spontaneously. You are not conventional. Instead, you love to apply principles your own way and chart a course that is pleasant with you. Sometimes, such actions do not go down well with others, it is just your way of getting things done.

You have few friends, but only those that matter

You are not caught up in other people’s affairs because you are only interested in quality relationships. It is not as if you don’t care, it’s just that you simply respect people’s private lives and do not want to get involved in their struggles.

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You would rather tell the truth and hurt others, than tell a lie to protect them

The truth may hurt but you are authentic to the core. You would rather play by the rules simply to make sure others follow what applies, than lie to protect them. You want the best for others, even if it is not personally rewarding because others consider you out of place for being so authentic, you just would do what is right.

You forgive, but you don’t forget

People think that after a mistake has been made or after they have wronged you, they can simply continue repeating the same process and earning your sympathy. While you can forgive and let go of past mistakes, you make sure that you use such knowledge for future judgment of such persons. You can forgive, but you always remember the hurt and why you should be more cautious in the future.

Featured photo credit: progressman via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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