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8 Sweetest Things You Can Do When Your Friend Is Crying

8 Sweetest Things You Can Do When Your Friend Is Crying

Friendship, a bond between two (or more) people who connect intimately together. We all have experienced that connection many times in our lives, whether we were in grade school or in our 30s. Connecting with someone who shares similar hobbies, conversations and bringing positive vibes, is something that everyone cherishes.

It does not matter how long you have known your friend, a year or even 2 months; in my opinion, if you want to be there for them, you will. With that said, if you have a friend who is going through a hard time and is expressing it to you, here are 8 ways to cheer them up when they are crying:

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1. Give Them a Cup of Hot Chocolate.

Sit down with them, give them a cup of hot chocolate. Have him or her vent it out with no interruptions. A best friend of mine once told me “I dislike it when a person stops me from venting and gives me their opinion on what to do without asking me.” When he shared the message to me, it was crazy that never came to my mind. While it is nice to have opinions, listening it better.

2. Hug It Out

Grab him or her tightly. Hold them while they are crying on your shoulder. For me, when I am hugging a friend, I like to give them a small pat on the back, while I am holding them.

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3. Go for a Walk

Whether you both live in a city close to the mountains or a city full of light, getting out of the house will make you feel refreshed. Go for a walk and you may stumble upon a place neither of you have heard of. Who knows, it could be the new get together place!

4. Drive Around Town with a Playlist

Music is everyone’s therapy. There are so much genres and lyrics that are so relatable, you can’t help but say “Yes! This song is for me!” You can create a playlist full of your best friend’s artists and songs. You can also add in some songs they may never heard of but feel they would love. I would recommend Spotify for this, it is free and easy! Personally, listening to Vance Joy, have the windows and being in company with my best friend, would make my mood turn around in a heartbeat.

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5. Dine Out

If you have the funds, take them out to their favorite restaurant! Whether it be Pizza, Pad Thai or BBQ. If you want to get creative, you can make their favorite meal right at home! Have them help out, even if they do not want it, it will keep their mind occupied for a bit.

6. Bake Desserts

While going to dinner can be fun, nothing can cure a heart more than sweets (in my opinion at least)! Try out that new Chocolate Fudge cake you have been wanting to test out. Maybe bake your friend’s favorite cookies and serve them with milk. Also, you can make up your own recipes, if nothing online sounds appetizing.

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7. Put on a Funny Movie/Television Series

I love to watch anything that puts a smile to my face. Of course, to forget what has happened prior to that moment but also: laughing is great for you! As of right now, my go-to comedy movie would be Trainwreck starring Amy Schumer and Bill Hader. For anything on Hulu, I personally love putting on Seinfield because George Costanza is very relatable to every living human on earth.

8. Bring Up Good Memories

I love memories, especially with people I love and care about. While you are both on the walk, driving around town with your playlist or baking cookies, bring up the times both of you were happy. Maybe it was the vacation you both took in the summer, or that college party where you both met. At the end of the day, friendship is such a wonderful thing to have in our lives, so we do our best to live up to it.

Featured photo credit: Benjamin Balázs via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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