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5 Reasons Why Humility is Important in Leadership

5 Reasons Why Humility is Important in Leadership

What comes to mind when you picture the archetype of a leader? Is it a brash and enterprising executive like Richard Branson? A perfection-driven controller like Steve Jobs? The truth is that many of the best leaders are nothing like the stereotypes that usually come to mind. Instead, some of the most effective leaders replace brashness and boldness with deep focus and humble dedication to improvement.

As American Congressman Pete Hoekstra put it, “Real leadership is leaders recognizing that they serve the people that they lead.” The best leaders are not managers. They’re not bosses. They are often empathetic and driven servants who empower the people they lead.

So just what is it about humility that makes it such a pivotal characteristic in leaders? Here are just a few reasons humility is so key:

It fosters an environment of learning and improvement

“Leadership is the art of giving people a platform for spreading ideas that work.” — Seth Godin

One of the most crucial roles of a leader in business is to teach employees, helping them gain new skills and become more proficient at their jobs. This leads to better results, better client retention, and, often, better employee retention. It also helps keep the company’s talent pool stocked, saving the company money on recruiting outside talent to fill management positions.

How does this humble fostering of learning and growth look in practice? Laszlo Bock, Google’s SVP of People Operations explained it this way: “Your end goal is what can we do together to problem-solve. I’ve contributed my piece, and then I step back.” Humble leaders shift the load from their own shoulders, allowing their employees to grow and improve by taking on more responsibility themselves.

It’s easier to follow a humble leader

“Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow.” – Chinese Proverb

Brash, outspoken, and arrogant leaders (which many have begun to consider as the prototype for a “leader” in business) often become severely disconnected from their employees. They are often viewed as out of touch with the day to day rigmarole and therefore unaware of the needs of workers (whether this is true or not.)

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“The best managers are those who have an intimate knowledge of the needs of both their customers and their employees,” says Kevin Brogan, Vice President of Meadows Casino, a Pittsburgh casino currently seeing record revenue. These humble leaders are in tune with their teams and are often the most well-liked of leaders. They also tend to exhibit some of the same characteristics pointed out by former U.S. President Teddy Roosevelt, who famously said, “The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.”

Humble leaders are more transparent

“A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.” — Arnold Glasow

One of the top trends in employee engagement right now is the growing popularity of transparency in business. In fact, research has shown a surprisingly high correlation between level of employee happiness and how highly they rate their company’s level of transparency.

Transparency can manifest itself in a number of ways (like Buffer’s transparent pricing undertaking,) but it often boils down to a willingness to share the good along with the bad. “I don’t mean that people need to be willing to fall on a sword,” Arron Grow, author of How to Not Suck as a Manager. “But we should own up to what we do. Sometimes it’s good to share that with others—that we’re not infallible.”

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Humble leadership empowers others

“The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things.” Ronald Reagan

Empowering others not only goes hand in hand with great leadership, it’s been said that empowering others is great leadership. And humble leaders do it as well as anyone. In fact, a study found that CEO humility was positively associated with empowering leadership in employees. In other words, humble CEOs have more empowered employees.

The leaders of the study went on to explain, “Humble people willingly seek accurate self-knowledge and accept their imperfections while remaining fully aware of their talents and abilities. They appreciate others’ positive worth, strengths, and contributions and thus have no need for entitlement or dominance over others.”

It’s what your employees are looking for

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” — Lao Tzu

The real power of humble leadership is the fact that, by and large, it’s the type of leadership employees are looking for. It keeps them from being micromanaged, it allows them to learn, it clues them into the inner workings of the company, and it inspires them to become leaders themselves. As Rob Nielsen, co-author of Leading with Humility put it, “When people are demonstrating (certain) behaviors—self-awareness, perspective, openness to feedback and ideas, and appreciation of others—employees are saying: ‘Yes I’m happier in my job; I actually can perform at a higher level.’ There is an association between the humble leadership behaviors and those outcomes.”

If you’re struggling with your results as a leader, it may be time to take a look in the mirror and determine which of these characteristics you might be missing. As Bill Gates said, “As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.” Humble leaders do exactly that.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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