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The Perfect Diet For You In 6 Simple Steps

The Perfect Diet For You In 6 Simple Steps

You’ve tried everything and nothing works. Right?

Did you really try everything?

Have you tried: Paleo? Flexible Dieting? Low Carb? Carb Cycling? Intermittent fasting? South Beach? Vegan? Metabolic type diet?

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Should I keep going?

The point is that the perfect diet is out there. It may take a little diligence on your part to really give these a shot and find what works best psychologically for you. But have faith that the right diet exists, regardless of your goals.

Anyone who claims their diet is best is stating a personal preference… or misleading you (intentionally or through ignorance). We may all be similar biologically but our mental capacity and capabilities are very different. What I respond to is very different than what you respond to. That said here are 6 steps to discover the perfect diet for YOU!

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1. On Your Mark…

The basic principal of any successful diet is to burn more calories than you consume. In order to unsure you can control this you need to know where you are at currently.

There are plenty of calculators that can tell you what your current maintenance intake is but the best way is to find it yourself. To do this you will need a basic calorie counting app or website (there are MANY free options, just search for calorie tracker). Track your normal intake for the next 3 days. Now take the average of those 3 days and you have your starting point. To lose weight simply set your intake going forward to 85% of that number, keep tracking your intake… and you’re on your way!

2. Search And Find

Start looking at the many options available to you (I listed a couple at the beginning of this article). Look for something that sounds the most appealing to you, one that allows you the highest level of psychological comfort. But understand that all diets come with a level of discomfort. There’s obviously a give and take. After all, if it were easy then you probably wouldn’t be reading this.

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3. Take It To The Lab

You know your starting point, you found something that sounds good in principal… now give it a shot. Remember the number one rule for any diet is adherence. Stick with it and remember that as long as you create a calorie deficit you will lose weight.

4. Measure Your Success

People sometimes forget to measure more than just their weight while diet. You should be paying attention to how you feel both physically and mentally. Do you constantly feel uncomfortable or bloated or irritable. Are you feeling light, motivated or in control. Take note of more than just your weight because a diet that empowers you is what you’re after!

5. Make Adjustments

You can lose weight (or gain weight) on any diet if you make the proper adjustments, so the goal should be to find one that you like, then adjust to accommodate your goals. If you find you are not losing weight after a week or so then subtract 100 calories from your intake and reevaluate again. Don’t be too aggressive or you’ll back yourself up against a wall in the future and will have very little room to adjust should you stall again.

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6. Results…

Did the diet you chose make the grade? If it did then congrats, you may have found the perfect diet for you! Make sure you give it a couple weeks to really give it a fair chance. If it’s not the diet for you, don’t stress it’s out there just try another one.

The real beauty here is that you have the tools now you just need stay diligent and stay committed to finding your perfect diet!

Featured photo credit: Start diet today/Alan Cleaver via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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