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Last Updated on July 22, 2019

7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside

7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside

I have been broken many times in my life. I have had life deliver blows that have knocked me to the ground. The pain and the feelings of hopelessness and despair have consumed my life for many months. I wondered if I would ever survive this, or if I would live a life where I felt happy and safe. Slowly, over time, my life got better and I got stronger.

Now when I look back, I realize that these events, though they were painful at the time, were the catalysts for me to change my life. Now I am living my life doing what I love – writing, speaking and coaching.

For us to live our lives to the fullest, the only way we can achieve this is by overcoming the challenges that life throws at us. We have to experience the pain, the betrayal, the adversity, the feelings of hopelessness and the despair in life, because how else do we learn about who we are?

There is no other way for us to learn how to be resilient, courageous, hopeful and optimistic about life and our future.

Though we do not like it, everyone feels broken at some point in their life journey. Often when we find ourselves at this place of despair, we do not know what to do and so we can end up living our life through our fear, regret, pain, disillusionment and sadness. This is not the way our lives are meant to be lived.

When you are feeling broken inside, remember these 7 things as they will help you discover your courage and build your resilience so that you can step out and embrace the joy of living a life you love.

1. Remember to Accept and Anticipate Change

“It is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.”  — Dr Leon C. Megginson

In today’s world of constant change, it is hard to hold on to who you are and manage the complexity and unpredictability of life. The one constant thing in our lives today is change.

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Instead of fighting the inevitability of change, learn how to accept it. Embrace change and know that by doing this your life can only get better.

Resisting change will fuel the negative energy that keeps you feeling broken and discouraged about life.

2. Remember to Embrace Your Power Of Choice

“Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.” — Kevyn Aucion

Using your power of choice will enable you to change your approach to life from one where you languish in pain to one where you flourish with joy and hope.

Using your power of choice empowers and strengthens your ability to take action and to make decisions.

Your power of choice is a gift that you have within you that if you choose to use, will transform your life.

3. Remember to Ask For Help

“Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.”  Anne Wilson Schaef

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. When we are feeling so broken inside, we want to hide away from the world. Sometimes, it is because we feel embarrassed, or we believe that people won’t understand what we are going through.

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The support, advice and encouragement from others helps us to overcome adversity and solve problems in our life.

It is the energy and wisdom from friends, family and supporters that fuels our courage and our desire to take action to change our lives for the better.

4. Remember to Be Present

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” — Mother Teresa

Your thoughts fuel how you feel about your life. When you feel broken in your life, it will be your negative thoughts that dictate your feelings of sadness, disillusionment and unhappiness. When you feel joy and happiness, your positive thoughts of hope and self belief will support more of these feelings.

The key to managing your negative thoughts is to practice trying to distance yourself from these thoughts and observe them rather than react automatically to them.

Identify those thoughts that will draw you in and create confusion and inertia within you. Accept that these thoughts do not serve you well and work towards having more control over them.

Label the type of thought you are having rather than paying attention to its content. Observe your thoughts and if you notice a thought that is judging (how good or bad the situation is), label it “judging”.

If you are criticizing yourself for doing something wrong, then label that thought “criticizing”. Then, ask yourself how long you want to spend criticizing and blaming yourself. My suggestion is that you spend zero time doing this activity.

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5. Remember to Focus on What Brings You Joy

“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain” — Joseph Campbell

When you are feeling despair, frustration and hopelessness, it is easy to forget the good things that are happening in your life. In fact, if you are consumed by negativity, you will start to believe that there is nothing good in your life.

Focusing on what in your life is good and what brings you joy is an important step to you changing your life. The more you focus on the good in your life, the more hopeful you become.

Positivity and hope are contagious and the more you celebrate this, the better you will feel about your life.

6. Remember to Be Hopeful about Your Future

“The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time” — Abraham Lincoln

It is understandable that when you feel broken in life, you can become consumed by the concern that this is what your life will be like forever. It is very hard to be hopeful about the future when you feel so much pain and heartache. However, your pain and heartache will not heal you and deep down inside, you want to be healed – you just don’t know how.

For me, when I felt  broken in my life, the one thing that helped me on my journey of healing was to try and keep hopeful about my future. It was important for me to keep perspective on the fact that what was happening in my life at the time was not a part of my future life. That tiny bit of hope I had about my future was enough for me to slowly start to heal — step by step.

7. Remember to Accept That Life Is a Mystery

“The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved; it is a reality to be experienced” — Jacobus Johannes Leeuw

Life is a funny thing and the more we fight and resist it, the harder it is to live our life. Accepting and embracing the mystery of life allows us to heal and look at our pain as only one chapter of many chapters in our life.

Life throws us curve balls. It tests us and challenges us. We survive and thrive in life by embracing these challenges so that we can grow and live courageous and resilient lives.

When we feel broken inside, we need to remember that this is part of our journey and that there is no escaping the pain. We just have to work our way through the pain and despair.

Instead of fighting and questioning life and blaming yourself for how you feel, take a deep breath and remember that life is a mystery. Do not make the moments of despair and unhappiness in your life as foundations for how you will live your life forever.

Your role in life is to embrace it – the good the bad and the ugly and to live your life to its fullest – so go live it!

“Ester asked why people are sad. “That’s simple,” says the old man. “They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people’s ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams.”  – Paul Coelho, The Zahir.

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Featured photo credit: J’Waye Covington via unsplash.com

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Kathryn Sandford

Career Resilience Coach passionate about supporting others to grow and thrive in a complex world.

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Last Updated on July 22, 2019

10 Uplifting Positive Affirmation Apps That Help You Re-Center on the Go

10 Uplifting Positive Affirmation Apps That Help You Re-Center on the Go

It’s easy to get overwhelmed with negativity in your daily life. You might read about troubling news stories, face challenges in your career that expose your weaknesses or deal with stress that makes your personal life unbearable. But just as you can cast out darkness with a light switch or a flashlight, you can cast out negativity through the power of positive affirmations.

Positive affirmations are phrases you say or think to yourself that reaffirm the positive things in your life.

For example, if you feel like your voice was skipped over in the meeting, you might tell yourself, “I’m an intelligent, capable professional and my voice deserves to be heard.” Or if you feel bad after cheating on your diet, you might tell yourself, “I’ve made a lot of progress toward building a healthier lifestyle and it’s okay to indulge occasionally.”

Positive affirmations work because they eliminate your thread of negative self-talk, and give you something inspiring, motivating or confidence-building to focus on.[1] If you expose yourself to these positive distractions consistently enough, you’ll walk away with higher self-confidence and a more positive attitude that can help you accomplish almost any goal.

But for most of us, calling up positive phrases and images on a consistent basis isn’t easy; not only do we have to wrestle with the negative thoughts and experiences that surround us, we also have to make time to re-center our thoughts.

That’s why these 10 uplifting apps exist. Each of them has the power to make you feel good about yourself no matter where you are or what you’re doing.

Give these apps a try if you want to include more positive affirmations in your daily life:

1. ThinkUp

    First, there’s ThinkUp, recognized as the best motivation app of 2017 by Healthline. Once you download the app, you’ll be able to start recording your own positive affirmations in your own voice.

    If you’re feeling confident and good about your place in life, you can come up with some positive statements about yourself and record them for posterity. If you’re feeling less creative or don’t know what to say, don’t worry—the app also has a list of generic positive statements that you can peruse and choose from.

    Once you have a selection of recorded phrases, you can start listening to them however you’d like; for example, you can have them randomly mixed into the music you’re listening to, or set a schedule so you hear your affirmations at regular intervals.

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    Make it a point to record a handful of new affirmations every day, so you’re always hearing something new. The app is available for iOS and Android devices. It’s completely free.

    2. Kwippy

      Positivity can come in many forms. In many cases, affirmations that come from other people can be more powerful than ones you utter to yourself. That’s where Kwippy comes in.

      Kwippy is a new kind of social media platform that will send you random challenges throughout the day, prompting you to take a photo of something in your nearby environment. For example, a challenge could be “take a selfie with the nearest living thing.”

      Users can view photo submissions from every other user (as all Kwippy users receive the same challenges at the same exact time), and are given a chance to vote on the photos they think best capture the theme (or the ones that are the most entertaining). You can also comment on other images.

      If you’re having a bad day, the prompts can be your chance to re-center yourself and be mindful of the present moment, and the affirmations from other people when they see your contribution can be exactly the motivation you need to keep going.

      The app has a positive, lively community focused on fun, while keeping negativity out. Kwippy is entirely free to use and you can find it on the iOS App Store and Google Play.

      3. Shine

        Shine is a text messaging service based on the idea that sometimes, you need some external phrases to guide your internal positive thinking.

        Visit the website, and you’ll have the ability to sign up to receive a daily text message—all you need to provide is a first name and a phone number. Then, Monday through Friday, you’ll receive one message per day with inspirational quotes from successful people, links to research-backed articles you can use as motivation, and tips on actions you can take to feel more positive in your daily life.

        According to their site, 93 percent of people who use Shine texts feel more confident and have seen a significant improvement in their daily happiness.

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        On top of that, you can get a referral code you can use to invite friends to the platform. If you refer 10 friends, you can get free Shine swag. There’s also an app available for iOS devices where you can listen to “Mindful Moments”—meditations for your world.

        4. Smiling Mind

          Smiling Mind is a nonprofit organization that’s attempting to make the positive experience of mindfulness meditation available for everybody.

          Because the organization was founded by and is currently operated by psychologists and educators, everything they do is backed by scientific evidence, so you can make sure your new habits and affirmations are guiding you in the right direction.

          In the app, you’ll find a selection of different guided meditation options, which can help you eliminate your negative thoughts and focus on the positivity of the present moments. There are different programs for different age groups including children as young as 7 years old to adults, and programs for specific applications, such as meditation for sports, education, and the workplace.

          You can also track your progress since the app records how long your sessions are and when you’ve participated in those sessions. The app is free to use but you can make a donation if you want to continue supporting their efforts. The app is available for Apple and Android devices.

          5. Louise Hay Affirmation Meditations.

            Louise Hay has been a leading mind in the world of positive philosophy, and published multiple bestselling books throughout the 70s and 80s before launching an app in the modern era. Hay passed away in 2017, but her hundreds of positive affirmations continue to live.

            Hay’s philosophy that positive affirmations have the potential to physically heal the body may or may not be something you agree with, but there’s no doubt that these short phrases can help you turn around an especially stressful day, or break a cycle of negative thoughts from interfering with your mental health.

            With the app, which is available on the App Store and Google Play, you can listen to some of Hay’s most powerful affirmations whenever you need a boost. You’ll also find meditation exercises, guided with animations, to help you relieve stress and reset your mind when it gets to a negative place.

            6. bmindful

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              bmindful doesn’t have the beautiful interface that many of the apps on this list do, and it exists only as a web app. But while it lacks in design or mobile functionality, it makes up for with an enormous and ever-growing list of affirmations you can use to introduce more positivity into your life.

              When you sign up for free, you’ll have the ability to build a list of your own personal affirmations, curated from massive topic-based lists written by the community. Categories include things like health, love, life, wealth, money, relationships, abundance, confidence, success, work, strength and creativity.

              You can organize them how you see fit, and write your own affirmations—either for your private use or to share with other community members. Soon, you’ll have a list of hundreds of affirmations that make sense to you, and specifically, you can turn to that list whenever you need a break from your negative thoughts.

              7. Instar Affirmation Writer

                Instar Affirmation Writer is an app for people who want to take charge of writing and managing their own affirmations, rather than relying on those written by other people.

                Within the app, you’ll have the ability to schedule alerts and reminders for yourself, so you write new positive affirmations on a regular basis and the app will notify you when it detects key criteria being met in your response, including a focus on the present moment and an overall “positive” emotion.

                You can record your own voice reading these affirmations, and improve the affirmations you write with ongoing tips. On top of that, you can categorize all your affirmations and pay attention to how often you affirm by monitoring your writing patterns. The app is available on the App Store.

                8. Grateful

                  Gratitude journals are a popular way to practice positive affirmations since they force you to slow down and focus on the positive things that are already in your life. Then, once recorded, you can go back and look at positive experiences in the past for inspiration.

                  Now, you can use an app to make the process of gratitude journaling easier and more enjoyable—not to mention more consistent. Grateful is an app that gives you daily prompts; every day, you’ll be met with a question like “what made you smile today” or “why was today a good day?” Answering with even a single word can be a positive affirmation in its own right but the app allows you to write as much as you want or even include a photo.

                  Grateful makes it easy for you to browse through your past responses to prompts so you always have something positive to see. Right now, the app is only available on the App Store. It’s free to start using but you’ll need to pay for advanced features in-app.

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                  9. Calm

                    Calm is technically more of a meditation app than a positive affirmation app but it’s designed for the same purpose; to help stop your bouts of negative self-talk and replace them with a positive experience.

                    The main function here is a wide selection of different types of guided meditation sessions, which focus on different goals. For example, there’s a guided meditation for relieving anxiety and one to support loving kindness. There are also deep breathing exercises that are perfect for encouraging relaxation.

                    When using the app directly, you can set a specific time for the meditation to last and you can use a “motivation calendar” to give yourself prompts to be more mindful, or start a meditation session at regular intervals.

                    Calm also has paid features, which include multi-day programs that help you manage stress and improve your sleep. It was named the Apple App of the Year in 2017, and is available on the App Store and Google Play.

                    10. Happify

                      No matter what your goals are for establishing more positivity and better emotional wellbeing in your life, Happify has something that can help you. In their own words, “Happify is the single destination for effective, evidence-based solutions for better emotional health and wellbeing in the 21st century.” The main perk here is that the app helps you measure your subjective feelings of happiness over the course of weeks and months, so you can see the patterns in your emotions and (hopefully) notice a pattern of improvement.

                      While using the app, you’ll find tools designed to break up negative thoughts, reduce your stress, and build confidence, including positive affirmations and activities meant to help you relax. You’ll even find guided meditation sessions, helping you make the most of the present moment, wherever you are.

                      Happify is available on the App Store and Google Play, or you can use the web version.

                      It’s free to use the basic features, but the advanced options and statistics will cost you $11.99 a month.

                      Practice Affirmation Consistently

                      Using at least one of these apps on a daily basis can help you fight the negativity in your life, feel more confident, and develop the resilience you need to overcome life’s toughest challenges.

                      The more consistently you practice affirmation, the easier it’s going to become. Soon, you won’t have to rely on apps alone to break the cycle of negative self-talk; you’ll simply be a more positive person!

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                      Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

                      Reference

                      [1] Psych Central: Challenging Negative Self-Talk

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