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When You Start To Accept Things You Can’t Control In Life, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen

When You Start To Accept Things You Can’t Control In Life, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen

Things happen throughout the course of our lives that we simply have no control of.  Whether it is a serious illness, or the loss of someone, or losing something that means the world to us.  There is also things that happen that you are solely responsible for: that you are ashamed of, and wish you could take back, but you can’t.  And all of that stress, pain, and resentment can be a heavy burden on your shoulders.  Even though you can’t change your past to make the present better, you can make a change to brighten your future.

Firstly, you must accept the situation that you are in.  You must be able to reassure yourself that everything in life happens for a reason.  Whatever burden you are facing isn’t accidental. You have to simply look at it as an opportunity for a new beginning. You are still capable of doing great things in life, but you have to accept your past and build on it.  If you can do all of that, you can look forward to these things beginning to happen.

1. You will start to have more faith in yourself.

The only person that can stand in your way is you.  If you have faith in yourself to accept, and overcome life changes, then you will be able to take on problems like this for the rest of your life.

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2. You will be able to think more rationally.

Once you start to lift the burden off of yourself, you will become less stressed, and be able to think more rationally.  Once you are able to do this, nothing can stand in your way.

3. You will learn to be truly happy again.

Its easy to wake up, and put on a fake smile to get you through your day without having to face your problems.  When you accept where your life has brought you, you will soon find that its even easier to just wake up, and already have a smile on your face.

4. You will be able to move on.

Because isn’t this what you wanted to be able to do in the first place?

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5. You will regret not accepting the changes sooner.

And you will accept the fact that you didn’t, because you will know that it wasn’t the right time before now.

6. People will notice a change in your personality.

When you accept the changes, and begin moving on for the better, people will be able to notice a new sense of pride and integrity within you.

7. You will be a lot more motivated.

Once you begin to move on, you are going to want to set certain goals for yourself to help you move on, and to change for the better.  And nothing can stop you!

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 8. You will be able to give up unhealthy habits.

Your new-found outlook on life will no longer require you to turn to a vice to get you by on a day to day basis.  You may find yourself able to put down the drink, or cigarette, and turn to yourself, and loved ones to realize that they are the only thing you really need that will help make things easier for you.

9. Your health will improve.

Your health may improve by simply accepting the changes in your life.  You may be able to slip out of that depression you were in.  Or maybe you find yourself sleeping better at night.  Maybe you decid that exercising will help you shake off those negative vibes.  Whatever it may be, it will definitely make you feel a lot better.

10. You will be able to influence others in the same situation.

There is nothing better than the satisfaction of knowing that you are able to help somebody else that is going through something that you have gone through.  As a blogger, I grasp that opportunity every chance that I get.  Knowing that I was able to reach out to at least one person makes my job worth more than a paycheck ever will.

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Whatever your personal situation may be, there is no reason, no matter how big or small it is, that you haven’t yet made a change for the better. Just remember, it is all about accepting who you are, what the situation is, and how you can turn it around and make it into something amazing.

Featured photo credit: Teen Boy Jumping off a dock via shutterstock.com

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Michael Daws

Aircraft Painter, Sports & Lifestyle Blogger

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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