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10 Delusions Only Paranoid Would Understand (Yes, They Are Possibly True)

10 Delusions Only Paranoid Would Understand (Yes, They Are Possibly True)

There are a lot of neat little boxes that people try to put you in—you’re a cautious person, the quiet type, proud, a big talker—but it’s not really a good idea to judge a person based on a single trait.

Take me for example. I am a fairly paranoid person by most people’s standards, yet I see myself as just reasonably cautious. You can chalk it up to all the cheap ninja and secret agent novels I read as a kid, and the martial arts training that I enjoy so much, but as anyone who is labeled as paranoid by others will tell you, a lot of our little “delusions” are actually viable scenarios. Just because something doesn’t happen every single day doesn’t mean that we should be completely carefree and neglect basic precautions. Here are a few common situations which we, the supposedly paranoid people of the world, tend to obsess about, and why we feel it is justified.

1. Leaving a window open at night invites trouble.

Cracking open a window to let some air in is a basic necessity, particularly on those warm summer evenings, but an open window is also an invitation to criminals. I cringe when I see a ground floor window of a house open in the evening, but there have also been real cases when crooks climbed in through a window on the first or second floor. Burglars aren’t as dumb as people like to think. Yeah, it’s not as likely to happen in some neighborhoods, but we paranoid people can’t have peace of mind unless everything is tightly shut.

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2. Weird noises around the home can only mean one thing—burglars!

Even though we are very careful when it comes to security, and double-check to see if the house is on full lockdown before we go to sleep, we see a sudden noise in the middle of the night as signal that a great battle is about to commence. I have a simple, three-step process for dealing with such noises:

  • Stand up and listen intently like a cautious little Meerkat
  • Grab the bedside baseball bat and ask the Warrior Gods to grant me the strength of ten men
  • Lurk from the shadows like a vengeful baseball-themed ghost for couple of minutes before going back to bed

People tease me about it sometimes, but every girl I’ve dated has felt incredibly safe beside me, so I guess there’s some benefits to being cautious.

3. Browsing online is like walking down a poorly lit alley in the bad part of town.

Okay, so let’s get one thing out in the open: the Internet is like a vast ocean of information, cat pictures, memes and funny videos, but there are droves of dangerous pirates that you have to look out for. And for those who skipped “analogy class” in school, I’m not talking about the type of pirate that illegally downloads Katy Perry albums; I mean the kind of people that steal your information, stalk you or try to harm your computer with malware. Since totally abstaining from Internet use is not a good solution, other paranoid people like myself invest a good deal of effort into making sure that our online security is as tight as possible. There have been numerous cases of identity theft, cyber bullying and stalking online, and it only seems logical to us to be careful.

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4. Someone might be waiting behind every corner.

Stepping as far away from the wall of a building as you comfortably can and getting a good look before turning a corner should be common sense as far as I am concerned. Yes, not everyone worries much about some thug jumping them, but even the most carefree person in the world has to admit that just avoiding bumping into people is a good enough reason for taking a half-second to scan the area before turning a corner or walking to your car in a parking lot. We don’t think danger is hiding behind every corner everywhere, but we know that, statistically speaking, there’s a decent chance that it might be hiding behind one of the thousands of corners that we pass throughout our lives, and we’d like to develop a simple habit that could save our lives in that eventuality.

5. Anyone coming up to you in the street is a potential threat.

I believe that the main reason why a lot of people get called paranoid, is a simple lack of effective communication. When I say that I view anyone who walks up to me on the street and encroaches on my personal space a potential threat, I simply mean that I make a mental note to be ready to move if the person is showing signs of bad intentions and I position myself so that I am balanced. It’s a small adjustment, takes hardly any effort and normal people don’t notice anything strange, but bad people clearly see that you are not an easy target.

6. If you don’t sit with your back to a wall you risk someone sneaking up on you.

There is a short ritual that I do when entering a bar, coffee shop or restaurant—look around, get a first impression of the crowd, find a seat where I can have my back against the wall and have a clear view of the rest of the room. In case of a fire or some other emergency, I have an exit strategy, and don’t have to constantly turn around to check behind my back or move my chair to let someone pass, so it’s a win-win situation.

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7. When someone’s late they are probably in grave danger.

Sure, there are tons of people out there who are irresponsible and couldn’t get anywhere on time if their life depended on it, but when a friend’s late and doesn’t answer the phone my first guess is always that their life is really on the line. I have my phone in hand and am ready to call their close family and friends if they are not there within 20 minutes. On the upside, I’m so glad that they’re okay when they finally do arrive, that I don’t get mad at them for being late.

8. Any group of males larger than 1 is probably up to no good.

For me personally, this point is firmly cemented in reality, as my friends and I have had a close brush with a group of drunken guys on more than one occasion. There is safety in numbers, and younger men are teaming with hormones that are supercharged with alcohol and God knows what kind of drugs, which often leads to them acting cocky and mischievous, and becoming aggressive. A good deal of these groups are just regular students or salt of the earth blue collar people, but at that moment they are much more likely to do something stupid, so I feel it’s best not to take chances and just give them a wide berth.

9. Arriving 10 minutes earlier to scan the area is just common sense.

Here’s another one that has always boggled my mind—most people get to a meeting place either bang on time, a few minutes late or incredibly late. People like me who prefer to come about 10 minutes earlier and have a bit of a look around are a dying breed, but if you look at it from our perspective, this approach has several merits:

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  • You never risk being late.
  • You get to look around and find a good place to sit (preferably against the wall and with the view of the entrance).
  • You have the opportunity to spot bad situations brewing and avoid certain areas (not being there is the best defense against mugging and assault).
  • You get some time to calm the nerves and psyche yourself up before a date or serious conversation.
  • You earn people’s respect by being punctual.

Again, it’s something you don’t invest a lot of time or effort into, something that has no potential downsides, but several benefits.

10. A sentence beginning with “I’ve got to tell you something” can only end in tears.

This is something that we can be conditioned to believe through our own previous experiences, but though it may not be true for every single scenario, a majority of “I’ve got to tell you something” or “I have to talk to you” situations end with a harsh revelation, and a long night of drinking and consoling. Think about it, when someone buys a brand new car or gets a promotion they tell you straight away over the phone—enthusiastic screaming is optional—and if it’s a small thing they call you out for some coffee and just start talking to you without stressing the point that a conversation needs to happen.

These are all little things that people who aren’t as obsessive about their safety don’t understand, but there is a clear distinction between paranoia and being careful—truly paranoid people think that someone is always after them and they try to protect themselves against highly unlikely situations, while someone who is careful simply knows that a world is not always a perfect place and has a few safety precautions in place. Even if we do get a bit more protective and cautious or worry more than the average Joe, it’s not without a reason.

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Nemanja Manojlovic

Editor at MyCity Web

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Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

“Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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2. Show Compassion

If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

3. Communicate Regularly

Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

4. Ask for Feedback

Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

You Can Find Good Help

It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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You Pull Together as a Team

Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

Your Career Shines Bright

Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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