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Don’t Let First Impression Fool You. Check These 7 Things Instead

Don’t Let First Impression Fool You. Check These 7 Things Instead

Have you often been let down by people you considered to be your friends? Ever been fooled by people who you thought were your well-wishers, but got backstabbed by them? Then it’s possible that you may be a poor judge of people and end up taking them at face value at first impression, instead of really getting to know them beforehand…

As human beings, we need people around us and need to be in social contact with each other. This is why we make friends and spend time in each other’s company – and why we actively seek out people we like to be with. Sometimes though, it’s easy to be taken in by a person’s outward charm, forming a first impression, only to later discover that from the inside, they are completely different.

Don’t get us wrong, we are not trying to say that the world is a bad place, but to know whether we can actually be lasting friends with someone, it’s very important to know the other person truly to avoid any unpleasant discoveries or situations later on… [1]

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The idea is not to judge people – the idea is to know people fully and make the right decisions about them so as to not be fooled by those who don’t have good wishes for us, or not underestimate those who may not look the part but are really nice people. This is why a first impression, dazzling as it may be, does not hold true many a time.

Things that Can Help You Quickly Evaluate a Person

Whether you are hiring someone, or making a new friend or even getting romantically involved with someone – it is important not to fall for surface beauty and dig a little deeper about how the person actually is on the inside. This is so that we form the company we actually want or need, instead of having people who increase negativity around us and hold us back from reaching our true potential. Read and learn about how you can be a better judge of people, to see if the person you just encountered can actually be a good addition to your life… [2]

How Much Do They Listen vs. Talk?

People, who are likely to be a good addition in your life, are the ones who are good listeners. They don’t just hear what you have to say but are concerned and caring enough to actually listen to all that you are saying, and even all that you are not. These are the people who are interested in you and care for you, and so they are willing to invest their time and attention on you. They will listen to you, try and make changes for you and even interrupt you if they feel you have misunderstood them or are heading the wrong way. Many might pretend to listen to you to leave a good first impression but then how long will that false interest last? If someone perpetually interrupts you when you talk, they are probably only interested in themselves and you may be barking up the wrong tree in this case. [3]

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Are They Intrinsically Kind?

People who are “nice” on the inside, make a special effort to treat the everyday people they encounter nicely. Basically, it’s all about the magic words and of course, having a sunny disposition. Someone who considers themselves to be too high up to pay any attention to the service providers around them are likely to be mean of heart and small of mind. You want to have kind people around you or even working for you – simply because they make the world, and especially your world, a little better and a lot brighter.

As Mark Twain said, “Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see!”

Do They “Act On” or “React To” What You Say?

You may have noticed – that when you give the same feedback or comment to any two or more people, you get varied results. Some people take what you said or asked them to do in a positive manner and use criticism constructively as well. Still, others tend to take offense to what you say and react with anger, resentment, and negativity. Do you really want to be around such people? Everyone can pretend goodness to leave a positive first impression but anger shows through sooner or later. [4]

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Do They Make You Feel Warm, or Embarrassed?

Frankly, everyone likes to be appreciated and loved. If someone comes up to you and says nice things, it is likely to make you feel happy, loved and all fuzzy inside. And yet there are times when flattery makes you uncomfortable or even embarrassed, be it at first impression or later. These are the people you’d probably want to avoid because your gut might be telling you that their sweet words have an agenda behind them which may be making you downright uncomfortable. Steer clear or make your feelings clear too…

Flattery looks like friendship just like a wolf looks like a dog!

Are They Sunshine People or Those From Darkness?

There are some of those in the world you can literally light up a dismal atmosphere simply by being themselves. And yet there are those who can freeze conversation, kill laughter and leave you feeling vaguely depressed about yourself and your life. The first kind of people have positive energy – they are happy people who like to spread happiness and smiles and if you have them as a friend, count your lucky stars. They are also those with far too much of negativity in them, and can quickly turn a sunny day dark and dismal. These are the people who hold you back from reaching your true potential and pass on their negative energy to you. [5]

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Can You Spend A While With This Person?

Many of us often make friends that we then go long lengths to avoid. These are the people who are an intrinsic and basic mismatch with us. They may be nice people, but they are not the kind our personality gels with. It could be a matter of opposing beliefs, varied interests or just a personality mismatch. If we find spending time with that person a drag, the relationship is not going to last much now, is it?

Do They Set Off Warning Signs In Your Gut?

The heart can be fooled and the mind can be swayed but the gut gives you the truest reading of anyone, the very first time you meet them. They are times when you may find someone off-putting, for no given reason but your instinct – and yet you still end up being in contact with them. Only to have your gut proven right in the end! As human beings, un-backed by science, we do end up picking up on the vibes people give off – and sometimes those vibes are most definitely negative. Heed yourself then, and approach cautiously. Not to say that you should ban that person from your life; for making snap decisions based on a frist impression isn’t right. You can certainly approach the next few meetings with eyes open wide, and a mind and heart tuned to pick up further strangeness. [6]

Ultimately, the decision of who you want to be friends with, in love with or even work with lies with you. Don’t be in a hurry to form an impression, and don’t always think that your first impression about someone is a 100% correct. People have nuances and facets and more importantly, sometimes people do change as well, as well as trying to appear to be what they are not – learn to read between and behind the lines and keep your heart, head, eyes, and ears wide open to avoid getting hurt or being betrayed! [7]

Reference

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Published on October 30, 2020

11 Essential Philosophy Books That Will Open Your Mind

11 Essential Philosophy Books That Will Open Your Mind

There are numerous ways to build your mindset, but none are as profound as reading philosophy books. Through these books, some of the greatest minds around ask questions and delve deep into thought.

While there isn’t always a clear and distinct answer to the many questions of philosophy, the entire field is a gateway to a higher sense of self. It gets you to think about all manner of things.

Below, we cover some of the essential philosophy books that are best for those who are just starting or looking to expand their mind.

How To Choose a Good Philosophy Book

Before getting to this list, we’ve researched ideal philosophy books to help you expand your mind.

We’ve found that the best philosophy books excel in the following criteria:

  • Complexity – Philosophy isn’t a subject that you can’t dive into immediately and understand everything. The books that we selected are great for people making the first leap.
  • Viewpoint – With philosophy, in particular, the author’s views are more important than in your standard book. We want to ensure the viewpoints and thoughts being discussed still hold up to this day.
  • Open-mindedness – Philosophy is all about asking perplexing questions and unraveling the answer. You might not reach a conclusion in the end, but these books are designed to get you to think.
  • Culture – The last criterion is culture. A lot of these books come from early philosophers from centuries ago or possibly from recent years. These philosophy books should paint a picture of the culture.

1. Meditations

    One that you’ll find on many of these types of lists is Meditations and for good reason. It’s the only document of its kind to ever be made. The book focuses on the private thoughts of the world’s most powerful man who advises himself revolving around making good on his responsibilities and the obligations of his position.

    We know enough about Marcus Aurelius to know that he was trained in stoic philosophy and practiced every night on a series of spirituality exercises. These exercises were designed to make him humble, patient, empathetic, generous, and strong in the face of whatever problem he had to face off. And he faced plenty of problems since he was basically the emperor of roughly a third of the planet.

    All of that is poured into this book, and you are bound to remember a line or more that will be applicable in your life. It’s a philosophy book staple.

    Buy Meditations here.

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    2. Letters From a Stoic

      Similar to Marcus Aurelius, Seneca was another powerful man in Rome. He was a brilliant writer at the time and was the kind of guy to give great advice to his most trusted friends. Fortunately, much of his advice comes in letters, and those letters happen to be in this book. The letters themselves provided advice on dealing with grief, wealth, poverty, success, failure, education, and more.

      While Seneca was a stoic, he has a more practical approach and has borrowed from other schools of thought for his advice. As he said when he was alive, “I don’t care about the author if the line is good.” Similar to Meditations, there are several brilliant lines and advice that are still relevant to this day.

      Buy “Letters From a Stoic” here.

      3. Nicomachean Ethics

        Aristotle was a famous Greek philosopher at the time with profound knowledge. He’s named after a form of logic as well called Aristotelian logic. Through this book, Aristotle writes about the root of all Aristotelian ethics. In other words, this book contains the moral ideas that form a base for pretty much all of western civilization.

        Buy “Nicomachean Ethics” here.

        4. Beyond Good & Evil

          Friedrich Nietzsche played a big role in the philosophical world. He was one of the leading philosophers of the existential movement, and it all came through this particular book. He is a brilliant mind. However, the issue with a lot of his work is that it’s all written in German.

          Fortunately, this book is one of the slightly more accessible ones since it’s translated. Within the book, he breaks down the paradoxes of conventional understandings of morality. By doing this, he sets the stage for a lot of the 20th-century thought process that followed.

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          Buy “Beyond Good & Evil” here.

          5. Meditations on First Philosophy

            In Meditations on First Philosophy, René Descartes breaks his book down into six meditations. The book takes a journalistic style that is structured much like a six-day course of meditation. On day one, he gives instructions on discarding all belief in things that are not guaranteed. After that, he tries to establish what can be known for sure. Similar to Meditations, this is a staple and influential philosophical text that you can pick up.

            Buy “Meditations on First Philosophy” here.

            6. Ethics

              Written by Benedict de Spinoza, this came at a time during the Age of Enlightenment. Enlightenment was a movement that dominated the world of ideas in Europe during the 17th and 18th centuries and with that, many schools of thought emerged and were presented through books.

              Out of the many influential philosophy books published back then, Ethics dominated during this period as it discussed the basis of rationalism. Even though we’ve developed further beyond that, Ethics can introduce new ways of thinking from this particular school of thought.

              Buy “Ethics” here.

              7. Critique of Pure Reason

                Immanuel Kant is another great philosopher who brought together two of history’s biggest opposing schools of thought into a single book. Those schools being rational thought and empirical experiential knowledge—knowledge gained through experience.

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                In Critique of Pure Reason, Kant explores human reason and then works to establish its illusions and get down to core constituents. Overall, you can learn more about human behavior and thought processes and thus, open your mind more to how you think and process everything around you.

                Buy “Critique of Pure Reason” here.

                8. On the Genealogy of Morals

                  Another piece of work from Nietzsche that is accessible to us is On the Genealogy of Morals. According to Nietzsche, the purpose of this book is to call attention to his previous writings. That said, it does more than that so you don’t need to worry so much about reading his other books.

                  In this book, he expands on the cryptic aphorisms that he brings up in Beyond Good and Evil and offers a discussion or morality in a work that is more accessible than a lot of his previous work.

                  Buy “On the Genealogy of Morals” here.

                  9. Everything Is F*cked

                    The only book on this list that’s been written in the past few years, this book by Mark Manson aims to explain why we all need hope while also accepting that hope can often lead us to ruin too.

                    While many of the books on this list are all practical, this one is the most realistic one since not even the greatest of philosophical minds could predict things like technology, Twitter, and how our political world has shaped.

                    Manson delivers a profound book that taps into the minds of our ancestral philosophers, such as Plato, Nietzsche, and Tom Waits, and digs deep into various topics and how all of it is connected—religion and politics, our relationship with money, entertainment, and the internet.

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                    Overall, this book serves as a challenge to all of us—a challenge to be more honest with ourselves and connect with the world in a way we’ve never tried before.

                    Buy “Everything Is F*cked” here.

                    10. Reasons and Persons

                      One of the most challenging philosophy books to read on this list, Reasons and Persons will send you on quite the trip. Through a lot of painstaking logic, Derek Parfit shows us some unique perspectives on self-interest, personhood, and whether our actions are good or evil.

                      Considered by many to be an important psychological text around the 20th century, the arguments made about those topics will open your mind to a brand new way of thinking.

                      Buy “Reasons and Persons” here.

                      11. The Republic of Plato

                        Written by Plato himself, this book is the origin of political science and offers a brilliant critique of government. As you would expect, the critique is still important today. If you’re looking to understand the inner thoughts of Plato, this is one of the best books around.

                        Buy “The Republic of Plato” here.

                        Final Thoughts

                        Philosophy books take a while to digest as they provide profound knowledge and leave you with many questions. With many of these philosophy books, you need to take your time with them, and you might have to read through them a few times as well. And with every read, your mind will only expand.

                        More Books to Open Your Mind

                        Featured photo credit: Laura Chouette via unsplash.com

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