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Don’t Let First Impression Fool You. Check These 7 Things Instead

Don’t Let First Impression Fool You. Check These 7 Things Instead

Have you often been let down by people you considered to be your friends? Ever been fooled by people who you thought were your well-wishers, but got backstabbed by them? Then it’s possible that you may be a poor judge of people and end up taking them at face value at first impression, instead of really getting to know them beforehand…

As human beings, we need people around us and need to be in social contact with each other. This is why we make friends and spend time in each other’s company – and why we actively seek out people we like to be with. Sometimes though, it’s easy to be taken in by a person’s outward charm, forming a first impression, only to later discover that from the inside, they are completely different.

Don’t get us wrong, we are not trying to say that the world is a bad place, but to know whether we can actually be lasting friends with someone, it’s very important to know the other person truly to avoid any unpleasant discoveries or situations later on… [1]

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The idea is not to judge people – the idea is to know people fully and make the right decisions about them so as to not be fooled by those who don’t have good wishes for us, or not underestimate those who may not look the part but are really nice people. This is why a first impression, dazzling as it may be, does not hold true many a time.

Things that Can Help You Quickly Evaluate a Person

Whether you are hiring someone, or making a new friend or even getting romantically involved with someone – it is important not to fall for surface beauty and dig a little deeper about how the person actually is on the inside. This is so that we form the company we actually want or need, instead of having people who increase negativity around us and hold us back from reaching our true potential. Read and learn about how you can be a better judge of people, to see if the person you just encountered can actually be a good addition to your life… [2]

How Much Do They Listen vs. Talk?

People, who are likely to be a good addition in your life, are the ones who are good listeners. They don’t just hear what you have to say but are concerned and caring enough to actually listen to all that you are saying, and even all that you are not. These are the people who are interested in you and care for you, and so they are willing to invest their time and attention on you. They will listen to you, try and make changes for you and even interrupt you if they feel you have misunderstood them or are heading the wrong way. Many might pretend to listen to you to leave a good first impression but then how long will that false interest last? If someone perpetually interrupts you when you talk, they are probably only interested in themselves and you may be barking up the wrong tree in this case. [3]

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Are They Intrinsically Kind?

People who are “nice” on the inside, make a special effort to treat the everyday people they encounter nicely. Basically, it’s all about the magic words and of course, having a sunny disposition. Someone who considers themselves to be too high up to pay any attention to the service providers around them are likely to be mean of heart and small of mind. You want to have kind people around you or even working for you – simply because they make the world, and especially your world, a little better and a lot brighter.

As Mark Twain said, “Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see!”

Do They “Act On” or “React To” What You Say?

You may have noticed – that when you give the same feedback or comment to any two or more people, you get varied results. Some people take what you said or asked them to do in a positive manner and use criticism constructively as well. Still, others tend to take offense to what you say and react with anger, resentment, and negativity. Do you really want to be around such people? Everyone can pretend goodness to leave a positive first impression but anger shows through sooner or later. [4]

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Do They Make You Feel Warm, or Embarrassed?

Frankly, everyone likes to be appreciated and loved. If someone comes up to you and says nice things, it is likely to make you feel happy, loved and all fuzzy inside. And yet there are times when flattery makes you uncomfortable or even embarrassed, be it at first impression or later. These are the people you’d probably want to avoid because your gut might be telling you that their sweet words have an agenda behind them which may be making you downright uncomfortable. Steer clear or make your feelings clear too…

Flattery looks like friendship just like a wolf looks like a dog!

Are They Sunshine People or Those From Darkness?

There are some of those in the world you can literally light up a dismal atmosphere simply by being themselves. And yet there are those who can freeze conversation, kill laughter and leave you feeling vaguely depressed about yourself and your life. The first kind of people have positive energy – they are happy people who like to spread happiness and smiles and if you have them as a friend, count your lucky stars. They are also those with far too much of negativity in them, and can quickly turn a sunny day dark and dismal. These are the people who hold you back from reaching your true potential and pass on their negative energy to you. [5]

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Can You Spend A While With This Person?

Many of us often make friends that we then go long lengths to avoid. These are the people who are an intrinsic and basic mismatch with us. They may be nice people, but they are not the kind our personality gels with. It could be a matter of opposing beliefs, varied interests or just a personality mismatch. If we find spending time with that person a drag, the relationship is not going to last much now, is it?

Do They Set Off Warning Signs In Your Gut?

The heart can be fooled and the mind can be swayed but the gut gives you the truest reading of anyone, the very first time you meet them. They are times when you may find someone off-putting, for no given reason but your instinct – and yet you still end up being in contact with them. Only to have your gut proven right in the end! As human beings, un-backed by science, we do end up picking up on the vibes people give off – and sometimes those vibes are most definitely negative. Heed yourself then, and approach cautiously. Not to say that you should ban that person from your life; for making snap decisions based on a frist impression isn’t right. You can certainly approach the next few meetings with eyes open wide, and a mind and heart tuned to pick up further strangeness. [6]

Ultimately, the decision of who you want to be friends with, in love with or even work with lies with you. Don’t be in a hurry to form an impression, and don’t always think that your first impression about someone is a 100% correct. People have nuances and facets and more importantly, sometimes people do change as well, as well as trying to appear to be what they are not – learn to read between and behind the lines and keep your heart, head, eyes, and ears wide open to avoid getting hurt or being betrayed! [7]

Reference

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Last Updated on February 1, 2019

How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful

How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful

Self awareness can be defined as having a clear understanding of your personality, including your beliefs, emotions, motivation, strengths and weaknesses.

A 2010 study by Green Peak Partners and Cornell’s School of Industrial and Labor Relations found that self awareness is a key and common characteristic of successful leaders. [1]

And research[2] by the Driehaus College of Business at De Paul University has also demonstrated that high self awareness leads to improved team performance.

Self Awareness Makes You Improve Much Faster Than the Others

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.” – Ralicoph Waldo Emerson

Self awareness allows us to understand who we are, and how others see us. From this, we can determine how similar or different we are to other people.

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Individuals with high self awareness tend to live happier and more fulfilling lives. That’s because being self aware brings several powerful benefits, including:

  • Finding and expressing your authentic self.
  • Being proactive, instead of reactive.
  • Enjoying positive and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
  • Having deeper thoughts.
  • Revealing your true purpose.

One secret behind the magic of self awareness, is the fact that being self aware allows you to see your weaknesses. Once you know what they are, you can then act accordingly to fix them (where possible).

As an example, think back to a time when you achieved a major success in your life. Your confidence jumped off the scale, and suddenly, everything in your life began to look rosy. However, success was fleeting, and before long you were not only back where you started – but had lost your initial faith and confidence too.

Instead of seeing this as bad luck or personal failure, the better response would be to analyze exactly what happened.

What caused your success? What caused your failure? And what could you have done differently?

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By answering these questions, you’ll gain insight into your decision making and personality traits. Most importantly, you’ll be able to discover where you went wrong, and how you could avoid this next time around. This is how self awareness becomes a crucial partner in reaching your dreams and goals.

How to Increase Your Self Awareness

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” – Lao-Tze

Okay, you’ve now seen some of the ways that self awareness can boost your success in life. (And we’ve only scratched the surface of potential benefits.)

It’s now time to reveal several tips and techniques that will increase your self awareness.

Take a psychometric test: You’ll understand more about yourself

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Psychometric tests are ideal for raising your self awareness. The tests force you to think deeply about yourself, and how your react to different situations. Self reflection = Self awareness. Try this free, 100-question psychometric test offered by the University of Cambridge.

Keep a personal journal: It can reduce anxiety and depression at the same time

Writing a daily journal can be a great tool for increasing your self awareness. If your writing is honest and open, you’ll quickly discover things about yourself that you’d never previously realised. You’ll also begin to see how habits create your conditions. For self awareness purposes, your daily journal should (at the very least) list your biggest failures and greatest successes of the day. Science supports the effectiveness of journalism, with a recent Psychotherapy Research study[3] showing that writing a daily journal reduced anxiety and depression.

Learn to meditate: To clear your thoughts

If you’ve never tried meditating before, then you should definitely consider trying it, if you want to boost your self awareness. Meditation can help you to delve below the incessant chatter of your conscious mind, and instead, let you tap into the depths of your subconscious mind. As well as boosting your well-being and health, meditation can clear your thoughts, and help you to become more creative.[4]

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How to get started? There are plenty of books and videos that can teach you the basics of meditation. Alternatively, you’ll be sure to find mediation classes in your local area.

Ask for feedback: You’ll be amazed

Choose a close family member or friend who knows you well. Ask then to give you an honest appraisal of your actions, beliefs and motivations. You’ll be amazed (and possibly shocked!) at what you hear. In fact, it’s likely that you’ll gain a completely new perspective on yourself. Use this new knowledge to make positive changes that could increase your effectiveness and success in life.

Through boosting your self awareness, you’ll begin to see new, exciting opportunities for growth and success. You’ll also learn how others see you. This will help your interpersonal relationships – as well as your ability to read others.

Self awareness can help you predict the success of others. It can also help you predict your own success.

So, choose to follow in the footsteps of the highly-successful, and start developing your self awareness today.

Reference

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