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10 Ways Smart People Start Conversations With Anyone

10 Ways Smart People Start Conversations With Anyone

The heading is not to say that some people are smart while conversing and that others are just plain stupid. That would be a gross generalisation. But perception says that some people who converse in a smart manner are more aware and confident. And we believe that you must have a way of coming across as someone who is smart, creative and sure of themselves. These following sentences are some of the ways of starting or continuing an informed and interesting conversation that is not only a pleasure to others but of great interest to you.

1. “That is such a great pin/ring/pen/etc.”

By starting with a comment on something personal, you can often know more about the other person. This forays into the personal space without being too intrusive but at the same time its a positive note to start conversation with. And who knows you might just stumble upon a great story.

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2. “Do you know which way the bar/room/office/water cooler is?”

By asking a question, you make sure that the other person is compelled to answer. And once you start conversation, it can just flow based on how you approach it. Asking for assistance is the best option if you want someone to help you out and get to know you.

3. “Can I help you with that bag/door/dog?”

By offering to help someone, you will always come across as a friendly and kind person. Obviously, you must be aware that another person might just be wary of you initially and that you shouldn’t force your presence on them. But if someone is having a hard day, a hand is always appreciated.

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4.”What’s your reaction to that act/bill/play?”

You can start conversation by asking about the other’s opinion on things. Of this some will be of importance to them; they will care about certain things and talk more about them. If you also have a view on the topic, then the talking gets easier and easier. This method also requires you to have knowledge and opinions about things around you.

5. “Hey! Don’t you know John/my cousin/that doctor?”

In this age of Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp and Twitter, to start conversation of any kind you only need to check for mutual friends. This will not only give you an opening line, but will give you an idea about the circles the other person hangs out in. After all, often some conversations are not worth pursuing.

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6. Do you by any chance hail from (your school/town/hobby class)?

Not only mutual friends or social networks present you with a cursory glance into a persons surroundings. If you have certain similarities in your school, interests or place of belonging, you will have a wide range of topics to cover and even have the opportunity to reminisce. This can be the best to start conversation about pasts and look into the future.

7. “Your blog/music/art is really interesting.”

Without praising another to the skies, it is a good sign to show interest and communicate your opinion about their profession or hobbies. You must emotionally as well as creatively be invested in another to have a meaningful conversation about their creative bent of mind. You must make sure that your compliments are sincere and say something more than being mere exaltation.

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8. “I have a lucrative opportunity for you.”

By following up on a person’s interests and background, you can start conversation by providing an opportunity to another person. This opportunity can be something as small as asking them to teach your nephew softball or commissioning a painting from them. By feeling useful or important allows another person meet you shoulder to shoulder in the art of conversation.

9. “Something really embarrassing happened to me the other day.”

While not only asking questions, you must also offer more insight about yourself. By telling your story and trying to come across as an honest person, be it plain, exciting or just you, you will let another know that you are open to new people and new experiences.

10. “This is to toast my best friend/ boss/ new couple!”

You must hone your public speaking skills to be able to communicate with a room full of people and one single person alike. By being confident and using humour as an accompaniment, you can win not only one but every heart in the room. And we believe that that is never a bad thing.

Featured photo credit: Samuel Zeller via stocksnap.io

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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