Advertising

Not a People Person? You Will Be One After Reading This.

Advertising
Not a People Person? You Will Be One After Reading This.

When I was in seventh grade, my parents switched me to a new school. As if middle school wasn’t hard enough, I had to start over with a whole new group of people. I was a 12-year-old introvert facing the worst thing that a 12-year-old introvert could ever face: finding friends. I was not, nor have I ever been, what you might call a “people person.” But I did my best and somehow miraculously survived those angst-filled years. Now, I’m much more social, but it’s still something I have to work hard on. Here are some of the things I do to help.

1. Remember names.

When I was younger, I was really good with names, but I always pretended that I’d forgotten someone’s name that I had just met, so as to not seem creepy. I now realize that that’s pretty dumb, but it seemed smart at the time. Now, I’m not as good with remembering names, but I use names when I can. People are usually impressed that you know their names, and it shows that you’re interested in them.

Advertising

2. Smile.

It’s surprising how effective smiling is. Just warming your face up a little bit when speaking to people really makes a lasting impression on them. You seem like a more genuinely happy and approachable person when you smile. It makes people feel good when you smile at them, so show off those pearly whites!

3. Be honest.

If someone asks what your hobbies are, don’t lie to them. Seriously, I’ve done that and it always leads to trouble. Once, in tenth grade, someone asked me if I played guitar, and I (stupidly) told them I did. In fact, I had never touched a guitar in my life, but I wanted to sound cool. Soon enough, that person wanted me to play with him sometime. I had to back out of that lie pretty quickly. Just be honest about yourself, and you’ll save everyone a lot of time and effort. People will like you for who you are.

Advertising

4. Ask questions.

People like to feel like others are interested in them. It’s just natural. Make sure you show interest in whomever you’re talking to by asking questions and acting attentive to the answers.

5. Be complimentary.

“Your house/this food/this party/your cat is great!” Whatever applies to the situation, use it. Complimenting someone on even the smallest detail will make a lasting impression and might earn you some friends by the end of the night.

Advertising

6. Stay positive.

Doing too much schmoozing can leave you feeling a little fake inside, and that’s totally normal. Just don’t overdo it on the elbow rubbing and keep positive thoughts going on in your head. You’ve got to genuinely enjoy socializing with the people you’re talking to, or there’s no point in talking to them at all. Keep a good thought.

7. Share.

People don’t just want to talk about themselves all the time (though, let’s face it, it’s fun)—they also want to hear about you! So put your two cents in every now and then. Being a people person involves giving and receiving, so don’t be afraid to let your personality come out.

Advertising

8. Put the phone down.

You’re not going to seem very social if you’re glued to your phone all the time. Put it away and don’t let it distract you. Looking at your phone too much makes you seem disinterested in talking to the people right in front of you. It’s also often a safety net, so don’t let yourself use it. I know I’m guilty of messing around on my phone when I’m bored. Don’t do that!

9. Be genuine.

Yes, you want people to like you. No, don’t do whatever it takes to make that happen. You need to make sure you’re not being a pushover, or just acting like someone you think people would like. Act naturally, and you’re much more likely to be happy with yourself and those around you.

Advertising

10. Just have fun!

Meeting new people, though sometimes stressful for us not-people-persons, can be really fun. Just get in the right frame of mind and you’re good to go.

Featured photo credit: Luc De Leeuw via flickr.com

More by this author

Maggie Heath

Maggie is a passionate writer who blogs about communication and lifestyle on Lifehack.

Why Do We Procrastinate? 9 Psychological Reasons Behind It 9 Ways To Be Less Clingy In Your Relationship Useful Chart: Fruits That You Can and Cannot Let Your Dog Eat Nomnomnom! 4 Flavourful Cake Frosting Recipes That You Cannot Miss! 10 Blow Your Mind Surprises You Can Hide In A Cake!

Trending in Productivity

1 How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness 2 Are You Addicted to Productivity? 3 Is Avoiding Difficult Tasks And Doing Easy Tasks First Less Productive? 4 How Remote Work Affects Your Productivity And Wellbeing (Backed By Data) 5 10 Best Productivity Planners To Get More Done in 2021

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 21, 2021

How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness

Advertising
How to Create Your Own Ritual to Conquer Time Wasters and Laziness

Life is wasted in the in-between times. The time between when your alarm first rings and when you finally decide to get out of bed. The time between when you sit at your desk and when productive work begins. The time between making a decision and doing something about it.

Slowly, your day is whittled away from all the unused in-between moments. Eventually, time wasters, laziness, and procrastination get the better of you.

The solution to reclaim these lost middle moments is by creating rituals. Every culture on earth uses rituals to transfer information and encode behaviors that are deemed important. Personal rituals can help you build a better pattern for handling everything from how you wake up to how you work.

Unfortunately, when most people see rituals, they see pointless superstitions. Indeed, many rituals are based on a primitive understanding of the world. But by building personal rituals, you get to encode the behaviors you feel are important and cut out the wasted middle moments.

Advertising

Program Your Own Algorithms

Another way of viewing rituals is by seeing them as computer algorithms. An algorithm is a set of instructions that is repeated to get a result.

Some algorithms are highly efficient, sorting or searching millions of pieces of data in a few seconds. Other algorithms are bulky and awkward, taking hours to do the same task.

By forming rituals, you are building algorithms for your behavior. Take the delayed and painful pattern of waking up, debating whether to sleep in for another two minutes, hitting the snooze button, repeat until almost late for work. This could be reprogrammed to get out of bed immediately, without debating your decision.

How to Form a Ritual

I’ve set up personal rituals for myself for handling e-mail, waking up each morning, writing articles, and reading books. Far from making me inflexible, these rituals give me a useful default pattern that works best 99% of the time. Whenever my current ritual won’t work, I’m always free to stop using it.

Advertising

Forming a ritual isn’t too difficult, and the same principles for changing habits apply:

  1. Write out your sequence of behavior. I suggest starting with a simple ritual of only 3-4 steps maximum. Wait until you’ve established a ritual before you try to add new steps.
  2. Commit to following your ritual for thirty days. This step will take the idea and condition it into your nervous system as a habit.
  3. Define a clear trigger. When does your ritual start? A ritual to wake up is easy—the sound of your alarm clock will work. As for what triggers you to go to the gym, read a book or answer e-mail—you’ll have to decide.
  4. Tweak the Pattern. Your algorithm probably won’t be perfectly efficient the first time. Making a few tweaks after the first 30-day trial can make your ritual more useful.

Ways to Use a Ritual

Based on the above ideas, here are some ways you could implement your own rituals:

1. Waking Up

Set up a morning ritual for when you wake up and the next few things you do immediately afterward. To combat the grogginess after immediately waking up, my solution is to do a few pushups right after getting out of bed. After that, I sneak in ninety minutes of reading before getting ready for morning classes.

2. Web Usage

How often do you answer e-mail, look at Google Reader, or check Facebook each day? I found by taking all my daily internet needs and compressing them into one, highly-efficient ritual, I was able to cut off 75% of my web time without losing any communication.

Advertising

3. Reading

How much time do you get to read books? If your library isn’t as large as you’d like, you might want to consider the rituals you use for reading. Programming a few steps to trigger yourself to read instead of watching television or during a break in your day can chew through dozens of books each year.

4. Friendliness

Rituals can also help with communication. Set up a ritual of starting a conversation when you have opportunities to meet people.

5. Working

One of the hardest barriers when overcoming procrastination is building up a concentrated flow. Building those steps into a ritual can allow you to quickly start working or continue working after an interruption.

6. Going to the gym

If exercising is a struggle, encoding a ritual can remove a lot of the difficulty. Set up a quick ritual for going to exercise right after work or when you wake up.

Advertising

7. Exercise

Even within your workouts, you can have rituals. Spacing the time between runs or reps with a certain number of breaths can remove the guesswork. Forming a ritual of doing certain exercises in a particular order can save time.

8. Sleeping

Form a calming ritual in the last 30-60 minutes of your day before you go to bed. This will help slow yourself down and make falling asleep much easier. Especially if you plan to get up full of energy in the morning, it will help if you remove insomnia.

8. Weekly Reviews

The weekly review is a big part of the GTD system. By making a simple ritual checklist for my weekly review, I can get the most out of this exercise in less time. Originally, I did holistic reviews where I wrote my thoughts on the week and progress as a whole. Now, I narrow my focus toward specific plans, ideas, and measurements.

Final Thoughts

We all want to be productive. But time wasters, procrastination, and laziness sometimes get the better of us. If you’re facing such difficulties, don’t be afraid to make use of these rituals to help you conquer them.

Advertising

More Tips to Conquer Time Wasters and Procrastination

 

Featured photo credit: RODOLFO BARRETO via unsplash.com

Read Next