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How Small Talk Works When It Comes To Achieving Success

How Small Talk Works When It Comes To Achieving Success

By definition, small talk means polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, especially as engaged in on social occasions.

By simply engaging and socializing about unimportant matter, we trigger our brain and we sharpen our way of thinking. Even all the bigger things come from something smaller that triggered them. In fact, small talk is one of the best ways to start a conversation and lead that conversation to a whole another level.

I read one article while I was lurking the net and it was about “30 days of engagement in small talk with strangers.” Even though I am only on the 3th day, I’ve seen drastic changes in my life. I’ve started to realize that people need someone to talk to, something spontaneous, and all of that can be satisfied by a small talk with a stranger.

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When we engage in small talks, especially with strangers, we show our positive site. People are polite and they will smile back at everything you say, but these days no one wants to kick-start and breaks the ice.  No one want’s to show their dark side at first sight. By default we trigger two positive images.

On my three day journey, I’ve figured out that small talk works when it comes to achieving success and another two vital things: there is beauty in simplicity, and the neon light effect.

There Is Beauty In Simplicity

If we see the image of how success works and how the image was created, we figure out that it’s same as solving puzzle. One piece over another we will complete the puzzle, sooner or later. It may be a puzzle from a thousand pieces or 10 thousand, but one day, if we are being persistent and dedicated, we can solve that puzzle and create the image of success.

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Small talk is the first piece of the puzzle. By engaging in small talk, sharpening our brain on the simplest of things, we see that it’s the first corner of the puzzle (since corners are easiest to find).

Most of the people will respect us and are willing to help us because we have the power to share our positive energy even for a couple of seconds. One simple “how you doing?” or “how was your day?” have the power to open millions of doors, especially those to happiness and success.

By doing it frequently we master our way of doing the small talk. Just ask the question: “how many people you know only by doing a small talk with them?” Maybe 70 percent of the people I know are a small talk relationship. I would be poor if I cut my small talk from everyday life.

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It’s the most powerful thing when we master the small talk and that’s why there is beauty in simplicity.

I dare you to try the 30 days challenge of “small talk with strangers” and lot of doors will be open. You may not make a strong lasting relationship with everyone, but you will gather excessive experience with relationship with people. That’s a vast step in the sphere of success. Always remember that the image is created by smaller parts.

The Neon Light Effect

The neon light effect is the one of my favorite outcomes from small talks. It’s the brain trigger after we end our small conversations.

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Because the brain remembers almost everything, by engaging in small talks, we formulate a way of thinking about the environment we are surrounded with, especially about HR and public relations. Even if we are programmer, we have to engage with people and sell our products out there. We are community of 7 billion for a reason. We have to connect and share our energy. Small talk is the best way to start a long lasting relationship.

We may think that if we finish our conversation, it will be gone forever. The brain sucks everything, and one positive image of a small talk will stay in our brain AT LEAST one day. By engaging every day, we stimulate our positive vibes and we feel powerful. When we feel powerful success looks very easy, piece of cake! The problem is that we are not always positive. In fact, most of the time we are we struggling and fighting with harsh times, but the small talk can boost one bit of positivity.

Once more, I highly recommend you to start the challenge. For 3 days I saw drastic changes, and I can’t imagine after 27 days more. In fact, I think I will continue doing the small talk with strangers forever.

Small talk is the most important piece of the puzzle when we want to create the image of success. Persist in it, master it, and you will feel both, the neon light effect and the beauty in simplicity.

Featured photo credit: The kindness of strangers/Ed Yourdon via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

You go to the gym to train your muscles. You run outside or go for hikes to train your endurance. Or, maybe you do neither of those, but still wish you exercised more.

Well, here is how to train one of the most important parts of your body: your brain.

When you train your brain, you will:

  • Avoid embarrassing situations. You remember his face, but what was his name?
  • Be a faster learner in all sorts of different skills. No problem for you to pick up a new language or new management skill.
  • Avoid diseases that hit as you get older. Alzheimer’s will not be affecting you.

So how to train your brain and improve your cognitive skills?

1. Work your memory

Twyla Tharp, a NYC-based renowned choreographer has come up with the following memory workout:

When she watches one of her performances, she tries to remember the first twelve to fourteen corrections she wants to discuss with her cast without writing them down.

If you think this is anything less than a feat, then think again. In her book The Creative Habit she says that most people cannot remember more than three.

The practice of both remembering events or things and then discussing them with others has actually been supported by brain fitness studies.

Memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function of the brain.

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Now, you may not have dancers to correct, but you may be required to give feedback on a presentation, or your friends may ask you what interesting things you saw at the museum. These are great opportunities to practically train your brain by flexing your memory muscles.

What is the simplest way to help yourself remember what you see? Repetition.

For example, say you just met someone new:

“Hi, my name is George”

Don’t just respond with, “Nice to meet you”. Instead, say, “Nice to meet you George.”

Got it? Good.

2. Do something different repeatedly

By actually doing something new over and over again, your brain wires new pathways that help you do this new thing better and faster.

Think back to when you were three years old. You surely were strong enough to hold a knife and a fork just fine. Yet, when you were eating all by yourself, you were creating a mess.

It was not a matter of strength, you see. It was a matter of cultivating more and better neural pathways that would help you eat by yourself just like an adult does.

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And guess what? With enough repetition you made that happen!

But how does this apply to your life right now?

Say you are a procrastinator. The more you don’t procrastinate, the more you teach your brain not to wait for the last minute to make things happen.

Now, you might be thinking “Duh, if only not procrastinating could be that easy!”

Well, it can be. By doing something really small, that you wouldn’t normally do, but is in the direction of getting that task done, you will start creating those new precious neural pathways.

So if you have been postponing organizing your desk, just take one paper and put in its right place. Or, you can go even smaller. Look at one piece of paper and decide where to put it: Trash? Right cabinet? Another room? Give it to someone?

You don’t actually need to clean up that paper; you only need to decide what you need to do with it.

That’s how small you can start. And yet, those neural pathways are still being built. Gradually, you will transform yourself from a procrastinator to an in-the-moment action taker.

3. Learn something new

It might sound obvious, but the more you use your brain, the better its going to perform for you.

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For example, learning a new instrument improves your skill of translating something you see (sheet music) to something you actually do (playing the instrument).

Learning a new language exposes your brain to a different way of thinking, a different way of expressing yourself.

You can even literally take it a step further, and learn how to dance. Studies indicate that learning to dance helps seniors avoid Alzheimer’s. Not bad, huh?

4. Follow a brain training program

The Internet world can help you improve your brain function while lazily sitting on your couch. A clinically proven program like BrainHQ can help you improve your memory, or think faster, by just following their brain training exercises.

5. Work your body

You knew this one was coming didn’t you? Yes indeed, exercise does not just work your body; it also improves the fitness of your brain.

Even briefly exercising for 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions. But it’s not just that–exercise actually helps your brain create those new neural connections faster. You will learn faster, your alertness level will increase, and you get all that by moving your body.

Now, if you are not already a regular exerciser, and already feel guilty that you are not helping your brain by exercising more, try a brain training exercise program like Exercise Bliss.

Remember, just like we discussed in #2, by training your brain to do something new repeatedly, you are actually changing yourself permanently.

6. Spend time with your loved ones

If you want optimal cognitive abilities, then you’ve got to have meaningful relationships in your life.  Talking with others and engaging with your loved ones helps you think more clearly, and it can also lift your mood.

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If you are an extrovert, this holds even more weight for you. At a class at Stanford University, I learned that extroverts actually use talking to other people as a way to understand and process their own thoughts.

I remember that the teacher told us that after a personality test said she was an extrovert, she was surprised. She had always thought of herself as an introvert. But then, she realized how much talking to others helped her frame her own thoughts, so she accepted her new-found status as an extrovert.

7. Avoid crossword puzzles

Many of us, when we think of brain fitness, think of crossword puzzles. And it’s true–crossword puzzles do improve our fluency, yet studies show they are not enough by themselves.

Are they fun? Yes. Do they sharpen your brain? Not really.

Of course, if you are doing this for fun, then by all means go ahead. If you are doing it for brain fitness, then you might want to choose another activity

8. Eat right – and make sure dark chocolate is included

Foods like fish, fruits, and vegetables help your brain perform optimally. Yet, you might not know that dark chocolate gives your brain a good boost as well.

When you eat chocolate, your brain produces dopamine. And dopamine helps you learn faster and remember better. Not to mention, chocolate contains flavonols, antioxidants, which also improve your brain functions.

So next time you have something difficult to do, make sure you grab a bite or two of dark chocolate!

The bottom line

Now that you know how to train your brain, it’s actually time to start doing.

Don’t just consume this content and then go on with your life as if nothing has changed. Put this knowledge into action and become smarter than ever!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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