Advertising
Advertising

How Small Talk Works When It Comes To Achieving Success

How Small Talk Works When It Comes To Achieving Success

By definition, small talk means polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, especially as engaged in on social occasions.

By simply engaging and socializing about unimportant matter, we trigger our brain and we sharpen our way of thinking. Even all the bigger things come from something smaller that triggered them. In fact, small talk is one of the best ways to start a conversation and lead that conversation to a whole another level.

I read one article while I was lurking the net and it was about “30 days of engagement in small talk with strangers.” Even though I am only on the 3th day, I’ve seen drastic changes in my life. I’ve started to realize that people need someone to talk to, something spontaneous, and all of that can be satisfied by a small talk with a stranger.

Advertising

When we engage in small talks, especially with strangers, we show our positive site. People are polite and they will smile back at everything you say, but these days no one wants to kick-start and breaks the ice.  No one want’s to show their dark side at first sight. By default we trigger two positive images.

On my three day journey, I’ve figured out that small talk works when it comes to achieving success and another two vital things: there is beauty in simplicity, and the neon light effect.

There Is Beauty In Simplicity

If we see the image of how success works and how the image was created, we figure out that it’s same as solving puzzle. One piece over another we will complete the puzzle, sooner or later. It may be a puzzle from a thousand pieces or 10 thousand, but one day, if we are being persistent and dedicated, we can solve that puzzle and create the image of success.

Advertising

Small talk is the first piece of the puzzle. By engaging in small talk, sharpening our brain on the simplest of things, we see that it’s the first corner of the puzzle (since corners are easiest to find).

Most of the people will respect us and are willing to help us because we have the power to share our positive energy even for a couple of seconds. One simple “how you doing?” or “how was your day?” have the power to open millions of doors, especially those to happiness and success.

By doing it frequently we master our way of doing the small talk. Just ask the question: “how many people you know only by doing a small talk with them?” Maybe 70 percent of the people I know are a small talk relationship. I would be poor if I cut my small talk from everyday life.

Advertising

It’s the most powerful thing when we master the small talk and that’s why there is beauty in simplicity.

I dare you to try the 30 days challenge of “small talk with strangers” and lot of doors will be open. You may not make a strong lasting relationship with everyone, but you will gather excessive experience with relationship with people. That’s a vast step in the sphere of success. Always remember that the image is created by smaller parts.

The Neon Light Effect

The neon light effect is the one of my favorite outcomes from small talks. It’s the brain trigger after we end our small conversations.

Advertising

Because the brain remembers almost everything, by engaging in small talks, we formulate a way of thinking about the environment we are surrounded with, especially about HR and public relations. Even if we are programmer, we have to engage with people and sell our products out there. We are community of 7 billion for a reason. We have to connect and share our energy. Small talk is the best way to start a long lasting relationship.

We may think that if we finish our conversation, it will be gone forever. The brain sucks everything, and one positive image of a small talk will stay in our brain AT LEAST one day. By engaging every day, we stimulate our positive vibes and we feel powerful. When we feel powerful success looks very easy, piece of cake! The problem is that we are not always positive. In fact, most of the time we are we struggling and fighting with harsh times, but the small talk can boost one bit of positivity.

Once more, I highly recommend you to start the challenge. For 3 days I saw drastic changes, and I can’t imagine after 27 days more. In fact, I think I will continue doing the small talk with strangers forever.

Small talk is the most important piece of the puzzle when we want to create the image of success. Persist in it, master it, and you will feel both, the neon light effect and the beauty in simplicity.

Featured photo credit: The kindness of strangers/Ed Yourdon via flickr.com

More by this author

I Am A Real Gentleman. That’s Why I Am A Winner In Love. 7 Practical Life Lessons From Albert Einstein 15 Healthy And Delightful Recipes Of Berries You Can’t Miss 5 Pieces of Practical Advice You Should Take to Master Anything Increase Your Willpower With Just Three Simple Steps

Trending in Productivity

1 Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset 2 Have You Fallen Into the ‘Busy’ Trap? Here’s Your Way Out 3 How to Increase Brain Power, Boost Memory and Become 10X Smarter 4 Do You Want to Know the Secret to Living a Fulfilling Life? 5 6 People Management Tactics to Lead a Diverse Team to Success

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

Advertising

The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

Advertising

How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

Advertising

There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

Advertising

When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

Read Next