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3 Small Things To Remember If You Want A Long Lasting Relationship

3 Small Things To Remember If You Want A Long Lasting Relationship

Do you dream of a long, successful relationship, but struggle to deal with everyday conflicts and issues? Every relationship has its ups and downs, and it’s not realistic to expect things to be perfect all the time. However, there are several techniques you can use to deal with problems in the best possible way.

Read on for details on three small ways you can improve your relationship and give it the best chance of succeeding.

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When you’re angry, wait 24 hours before reacting.

You’re not you when you’re angry. Whether it’s a small issue, like your partner forgetting to do the dishes again, or something more serious, like an accusation of cheating, make an effort to give yourself some time before reacting. Making decisions while angry, hurt, or upset can easily lead you to do or say something you’ll regret. 24 hours isn’t a long time, but it is long enough for you to calm down and get some perspective.

If you still feel like you should take action after 24 hours is up, make an effect to speak to your partner in a mature and reasonable way. Avoid raising your voice or speaking hurtfully, and try to consider your partner’s perspective on the matter. You might be surprised by how many pointless arguments you avoid using this technique.

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Stop saying “I don’t mind.”

Being in a relationship isn’t just about trying to be ‘nice’ and give the other person exactly what they want. It’s important to express yourself honestly, even when you disagree with your partner.

For example, next time your partner asks where you’d like to eat, don’t just say, “I don’t mind,” or suggest a place you know they like. Instead, propose visiting a new restaurant or trying out an unusual cuisine. Your partner will be happy to see you taking the initiative, and you’ll have a more interesting experience than if you’d kept quiet or left the decision to them.

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It’s important to compromise in relationships, but that doesn’t mean suppressing your feelings or opinions. In the long term, this could backfire and lead to serious relationship issues. For example, if you say that you’re open to the idea of having children, but actually want to remain childfree, your partner could be hurt and confused further down the line. It’s unfair to your partner to keep things from them, even if you think you’re doing it to be ‘nice.’ Aim to be as honest as possible.

It’s okay to go to bed angry.

The phrase, “Don’t go to bed angry,” is commonly thrown around when talking about relationships, but it’s actually not the best advice. Arguments that take place at the end of the day are often made worse by the fact that you’re tired, you’re focused on the many small irritations of the day, and you haven’t had time to process your feelings. By taking a step back from the argument and getting a good night’s sleep, you’ll likely wake up able to deal with things much more constructively.

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Next time you find yourself getting irritated with your partner late at night, try saying something like, “Can we discuss this tomorrow morning instead?” Explain that you’ll be able to think more clearly after resting, and reassure your partner that you’re not trying to brush the problem under the rug. Make sure that you address the topic the next day to avoid any resentments building – while it’s good to wait a while before discussing problems, avoiding them altogether is not constructive.

By taking time to calm down before reacting to things that make you angry, not being afraid to speak honestly to your partner, and avoiding arguments at the end of the day, you’ll be well on your way to a long and happy relationship. Try using these three tips over the next week – you might be shocked at how much of a difference they make.

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Eloise Best

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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