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3 Small Things To Remember If You Want A Long Lasting Relationship

3 Small Things To Remember If You Want A Long Lasting Relationship

Do you dream of a long, successful relationship, but struggle to deal with everyday conflicts and issues? Every relationship has its ups and downs, and it’s not realistic to expect things to be perfect all the time. However, there are several techniques you can use to deal with problems in the best possible way.

Read on for details on three small ways you can improve your relationship and give it the best chance of succeeding.

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When you’re angry, wait 24 hours before reacting.

You’re not you when you’re angry. Whether it’s a small issue, like your partner forgetting to do the dishes again, or something more serious, like an accusation of cheating, make an effort to give yourself some time before reacting. Making decisions while angry, hurt, or upset can easily lead you to do or say something you’ll regret. 24 hours isn’t a long time, but it is long enough for you to calm down and get some perspective.

If you still feel like you should take action after 24 hours is up, make an effect to speak to your partner in a mature and reasonable way. Avoid raising your voice or speaking hurtfully, and try to consider your partner’s perspective on the matter. You might be surprised by how many pointless arguments you avoid using this technique.

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Stop saying “I don’t mind.”

Being in a relationship isn’t just about trying to be ‘nice’ and give the other person exactly what they want. It’s important to express yourself honestly, even when you disagree with your partner.

For example, next time your partner asks where you’d like to eat, don’t just say, “I don’t mind,” or suggest a place you know they like. Instead, propose visiting a new restaurant or trying out an unusual cuisine. Your partner will be happy to see you taking the initiative, and you’ll have a more interesting experience than if you’d kept quiet or left the decision to them.

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It’s important to compromise in relationships, but that doesn’t mean suppressing your feelings or opinions. In the long term, this could backfire and lead to serious relationship issues. For example, if you say that you’re open to the idea of having children, but actually want to remain childfree, your partner could be hurt and confused further down the line. It’s unfair to your partner to keep things from them, even if you think you’re doing it to be ‘nice.’ Aim to be as honest as possible.

It’s okay to go to bed angry.

The phrase, “Don’t go to bed angry,” is commonly thrown around when talking about relationships, but it’s actually not the best advice. Arguments that take place at the end of the day are often made worse by the fact that you’re tired, you’re focused on the many small irritations of the day, and you haven’t had time to process your feelings. By taking a step back from the argument and getting a good night’s sleep, you’ll likely wake up able to deal with things much more constructively.

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Next time you find yourself getting irritated with your partner late at night, try saying something like, “Can we discuss this tomorrow morning instead?” Explain that you’ll be able to think more clearly after resting, and reassure your partner that you’re not trying to brush the problem under the rug. Make sure that you address the topic the next day to avoid any resentments building – while it’s good to wait a while before discussing problems, avoiding them altogether is not constructive.

By taking time to calm down before reacting to things that make you angry, not being afraid to speak honestly to your partner, and avoiding arguments at the end of the day, you’ll be well on your way to a long and happy relationship. Try using these three tips over the next week – you might be shocked at how much of a difference they make.

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Eloise Best

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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