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How Cleaning the Closet Can Change Your Life

How Cleaning the Closet Can Change Your Life

I’m spending my birthday cleaning my closet. Again. Why have I done this for the past three years, and why is it even necessary? Allow me to explain how a 20-minute exercise can change your life.

There is a difference between living life driven to get things done, marking off each task as it’s finished, and a life that leaves its mark on the world.

Socrates reminds us that “the unexamined life is not worth living,” asking us to look within to understand the true value of life. When we live with the end in mind, reflecting on what we might leave behind, our purpose is revealed from a Soul perspective rather than a list of meaningless tasks.

An examined life is one willing to seek out those barely perceptible places of the soul; an often tangled and undeveloped part of ourself that is very much like a pantry or linen closet. The doors are kept closed to hide the mess, but until you know what’s hidden inside, you’ll never know what you have to work with.

Souls are like closets–full of potential.

Not sure what is actually in there or how to find it, we’re afraid to even open the door in case everything tumbles out.

And sometimes life feels just that way: overcrowded and overwhelming. There’s no shortage of things to do, but it always feels like something is missing.

So where do we start? Let’s continue with the closet analogy to create a masterful plan, composed out of purposeful, meaningful reflection, based on where you want to end up and what you hope to leave behind.

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1. Empty the closet–start with a clean slate

If you were cleaning out an actual closet, you would first take everything out. An empty closet is a manageable closet. In the same way, clearing your mind of endless tasks, the “hurries and worries,” will allow you to inspect and systematically decide how to reorganize your life. You can then determine what’s currently working, as well as what isn’t.

Find time for quiet reflection. Schedule a minimum of 20 minutes of solitude without any distractions. Use a pen and paper to do this, not a tech device that requires tapping or typing. This is important: there’s something about writing things out by hand that accesses the more creative, soul-chasing part of your brain.

Set a timer. For 20 minutes write down everything that comes to mind that you would like to do, be, have or experience. Include relationships, finances, health, career, creative aspirations and personal growth.

Who do you want to be? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do and experience? How would you like your relationships to grow? What would you like to learn?

Ask yourself what you want more (or less of) in your life. Give yourself a five-year window and brainstorm within this limit of time. Don’t think too hard, and allow yourself to dream. Focus especially on experiences and whom you want to share those experiences with.

2. Putting the closet back together–your priorities

Your previously cluttered, disorganized and unusable “closet” is now clean, freshly painted and ready to be put to good use. Next step? It’s time to put it back together, but NOT by stuffing everything back inside.

To restructure how we live, just like reorganizing a closet, will require letting go of what no longer “fits.”

The number 1 thing to let go of? The unrealistic expectations you have for yourself and others.

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Let go of the idea that it’s your job to save people from the consequences of their own choices. Allow them the grace to grow by learning from their mistakes. In turn, you will gain valuable time to pursue your own personal growth.

Let’s keep going.

Now take another look at that mindful and reflective inventory you have assembled and pare it down to your top 20 things. Sort them according to the following categories: Personal, Family/Relationships, Health, Career/Work, and Spiritual/Creative. I like to use different colored highlighters for each category. Under each heading, rank the items with Most Important at the top, and Least Important at the bottom.

Within each category, notice what catches your eye first; what makes your heart beat faster? What do you feel an irresistible pull to passionately pursue?

3. Master list vs. master plan–write yourself a story.

After you have ranked each item, turn your list into a narrative.

Write yourself a story, as if it is five years from now and you have done everything on your list. For example, you could write: “It is 2019 and this is what I have experienced/accomplished in the past five years…”

I am… I have…I live…I make…I do…

This narrative becomes your vision for all that you hope to do and be; it contains those secret longings that may have been squashed and hidden away for years, unrevealed and unexpressed until now.

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This will become your story–a story that will allow you to live on purpose. You will be focused, not simply driven; aware of what you are doing and even more important, why you are doing it. No longer are you checking off boxes on an ever-growing, meaningless list of things to do.

There are some things you need to hold on to indefinitely.

What to keep:

Projects that embody “process.” The process has to do with the entire journey of a project. It focuses on making memories and savoring moments. An example might be a family history project. If you are interested in genealogy, you could spend time alone and online, looking for records on Ancestry.com. From the process perspective, it could include spending time with family elders and recording the stories that embodied their lives. Yes, it will probably take more time, but you will ultimately have both a fuller, richer family history and have built stronger relationships.

Hold on to your legacy. Remember that what you create is what you leave behind. Photographs and images, letters written, meals infused with time and care, traditions kept and memories that result from them…the many savored moments carried in our hearts as a legacy of love, encouragement, inspiration and wisdom.

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” – Pericles

Habits that nourish. The behaviors that build health, nurture the spirit, and warm our hearts are the activities that grow relationships with friends, family and community.

Room to breathe. Create space within these lofty aspirations of yours! Just as towels begin to smell musty if they are crowded, we also need breathing room. Lists rarely get shorter. There is always more than enough to do, but we also need down time to just be.

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And finally: Hold tightly to things that will slow you down. Children. Pets. Crock pots. Children are especially wonderful teachers as to what is truly essential in our lives. Eating yummy food, playing with friends, and plenty of sleep. They are also great at noticing the small, subtle flavors that adults so often miss.

To view the world through a child’s eyes is to pay attention. And when we do this, as Henry Miller pointed out, our world becomes “mysterious, awesome, and indescribably magnificent.”

It can be life changing, for there are some alleyways and doors that are meant for us alone, and we will miss them if we run too fast.

Joseph Campbell wrote,

“If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”

In other words, they are your doors.

So slow down and enjoy the journey. And you can start by cleaning the closet.

Featured photo credit: Gretchen Rubin One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself/BK via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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