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6 Tactics To Spots Lies In Emails

6 Tactics To Spots Lies In Emails

No one knows exactly how we coped before email. It must have been terrible! One of many benefits to email is the ability to take time considering a response—while delivering that message quickly. It’s the perfect balance between face-to-face and the post office.

The problem with email is the removal of the person from his or her message. You’re given no body language, no facial expressions, no eye movements and no general feeling from the other person. This leaves things wide open for falsehood.

Look for these warning signs to help you determine whether you’re being lied to:

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1. Switching Tenses

Be wary if the author changes a suspicious story from past-tense to present-tense. It’s an indication that he’s making things up as he goes. We tend to miss details like that when we’re thinking on the fly. “We thought we’d be home by curfew. We were ready leave by 10:00, then I go to pay the bill, and the credit card machine isn’t working….”

2. Limiting Phrases

Pay attention to limiting, or qualifying statements like “To be honest,” “I’m sorry to say” or “Here’s the thing.”  These narrow the expectations of whatever comes next; maybe the author is stalling or hesitating.

“I want you to know, Rick seems like a good guy. You two are great together.”

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3. Too Much Emphasis

Sometimes liars over-sell their stories by trying too hard. Way, way too hard. Look out for adverbs or other emphatic language that seems unnecessary. Repetition is similar. If someone tells you the same thing several times, she may be trying pass off quantity for quality.

“I was really, really sorry to hear about Cuddles. It’s such a shame! He was such a very well-behaved dog. I was never ever scared of him.”

4. Evasive Language

If it sounds too slippery to be true, it might be a lie. Imprecise or vague language leaves room for error, and places the blame for misunderstanding on the reader, not the author. Pay attention to words like “maybe,” “possibly,” “pretty much,” etc. “I’m pretty sure they’ll be finished with the artillery barrage by 0600 hours and we’ll be safe to invade the compound. That’s basically what the gunners told me.”

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5. Creating Distance

If your questions go unanswered, or there are obvious omissions in the message, it could be a warning that the author is distancing himself from what you’re asking or talking about. Some liars even leave themselves out of a story they’re telling about themselves. Passive language and tone might be suspicious. You: “Are you excited about the shower on Sunday?” Liar: “It sounds like so much fun! So many interesting people will be there.”

6. Too Many Words

Liars tend to write 30% more than other people in email. Some of this is the need to flesh out convincing stories and answers to inconvenient questions. Part of it is a nervous response that kicks in automatically. If you receive an email that is longer than it needs to be, you may want to take it with a grain of salt.

“I had the report finished on time, but then everything went wrong. My flash drive broke, and then I had to reformat my computer. Computers are the worst! I was ready to email it to you but my internet failed. We just changed our service and it’s hit or miss sometimes.”

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Are You Paranoid or Careful?

Research shows that we naturally want to trust people, and usually assume the emails we read are true. But there are times when hoping for the best isn’t good enough. You can’t afford to date a sociopath. Your business needs to know the truth about vendors, employees and clients. You want the truth from the babysitter.

In most cases, none of the 6 warning signs by themselves is enough to merit a confrontation. Watch for several of them popping up in the same email, or look back through past messages for a pattern of possible lies.

Remember: being lied to repeatedly could mean someone doesn’t respect you enough to tell you the truth, or think you’re smart enough to see what’s going on.

Featured photo credit: Cairo via flickr.com

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Kayla Matthews

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Published on July 17, 2018

How Productive People Compartmentalize Time to Get the Most Done

How Productive People Compartmentalize Time to Get the Most Done

I’ve never believed people are born productive or organized. Being organized and productive is a choice.

You choose to keep your stuff organized or you don’t. You choose to get on with your work and ignore distractions or you don’t.

But one skill very productive people appear to have that is not a choice is the ability to compartmentalize. And that takes skill and practice.

What is compartmentalization

To compartmentalize means you have the ability to shut out all distractions and other work except for the work in front of you. Nothing gets past your barriers.

In psychology, compartmentalization is a defence mechanism our brains use to shut out traumatic events. We close down all thoughts about the traumatic event. This can lead to serious mental-health problems such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) if not dealt with properly.

However, compartmentalization can be used in positive ways to help us become more productive and allow us to focus on the things that are important to us.

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Robin Sharma, the renowned leadership coach, calls it his Tight Bubble of Total Focus Strategy. This is where he shuts out all distractions, turns off his phone and goes to a quiet place where no one will disturb him and does the work he wants to focus on. He allows nothing to come between himself and the work he is working on and prides himself on being almost uncontactable.

Others call it deep work. When I want to focus on a specific piece of work, I turn everything off, turn on my favourite music podcast The Anjunadeep Edition (soft, eclectic electronic music) and focus on the content I intend to work on. It works, and it allows me to get massive amounts of content produced every week.

The main point about compartmentalization is that no matter what else is going on in your life — you could be going through a difficult time in your relationships, your business could be sinking into bankruptcy or you just had a fight with your colleague; you can shut those things out of your mind and focus totally on the work that needs doing.

Your mind sees things as separate rooms with closable doors, so you can enter a mental room, close the door and have complete focus on whatever it is you want to focus on. Your mind does not wander.

Being able to achieve this state can seriously boost your productivity. You get a lot more quality work done and you find you have a lot more time to do the things you want to do. It is a skill worth mastering for the benefits it will bring you.

How to develop the skill of compartmentalization

The simplest way to develop this skill is to use your calendar.

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Your calendar is the most powerful tool you have in your productivity toolbox. It allows you to block time out, and it can focus you on the work that needs doing.

My calendar allows me to block time out so I can remove everything else out of my mind to focus on one thing. When I have scheduled time for writing, I know what I want to write about and I sit down and my mind completely focuses on the writing.

Nothing comes between me, my thoughts and the keyboard. I am in my writing compartment and that is where I want to be. Anything going on around me, such as a problem with a student, a difficulty with an area of my business or an argument with my wife is blocked out.

Understand that sometimes there’s nothing you can do about an issue

One of the ways to do this is to understand there are times when there is nothing you can do about an issue or an area of your life. For example, if I have a student with a problem, unless I am able to communicate with that student at that specific time, there is nothing I can do about it.

If I can help the student, I would schedule a meeting with the student to help them. But between now and the scheduled meeting there is nothing I can do. So, I block it out.

The meeting is scheduled on my calendar and I will be there. Until then, there is nothing I can do about it.

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Ask yourself the question “Is there anything I can do about it right now?”

This is a very powerful way to help you compartmentalize these issues.

If there is, focus all your attention on it to the exclusion of everything else until you have a workable solution. If not, then block it out, schedule time when you can do something about it and move on to the next piece of work you need to work on.

Being able to compartmentalize helps with productivity in another way. It reduces the amount of time you spend worrying.

Worrying about something is a huge waste of energy that never solves anything. Being able to block out issues you cannot deal with stops you from worrying about things and allows you to focus on the things you can do something about.

Reframe the problem as a question

Reframing the problem as a question such as “what do I have to do to solve this problem?” takes your mind away from a worried state into a solution state, where you begin searching for solutions.

One of the reasons David Allen’s Getting Things Done book has endured is because it focuses on contexts. This is a form of compartmentalization where you only do work you can work on.

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For instance, if a piece of work needs a computer, you would only look at the work when you were in front of a computer. If you were driving, you cannot do that work, so you would not be looking at it.

Choose one thing to focus on

To get better at compartmentalizing, look around your environment and seek out places where you can do specific types of work.

Taking your dog for a walk could be the time you focus solely on solving project problems, commuting to and from work could be the time you spend reading and developing your skills and the time between 10 am and 12 pm could be the time you spend on the phone sorting out client issues.

Once you make the decision about when and where you will do the different types of work, make it stick. Schedule it. Once it becomes a habit, you are well on your way to using the power of compartmentalization to become more productive.

Comparmentalization saves you stress

Compartmentalization is a skill that gives you time to deal with issues and work to the exclusion of all other distractions.

This means you get more work done in less time and this allows you to spend more time with the people you want to spend more time with, doing the things you want to spend more time doing.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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