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10 Habits That Lead You To Failure

10 Habits That Lead You To Failure
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Failure: It’s a set up… and YOU are the prime suspect. Are you one of those people who sits back in frustration and envy while you watch your friends and acquaintances conquer obstacles and reach success repeatedly? You can too, but first, it’s wise to drop any of these habits you might have.

1. Not practicing what you preach

Have you ever heard this saying? It’s something society demands, so you need to demand it from yourself. Everything begins and ends with the brain-heart connection. If you have thoughts that are negative, you’re likely to practice negative actions. It is imperative you reverse any and all negative thinking. Become your biggest cheerleader and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. “I can do this!” Think positively so your conscious mind practices what your subconscious preaches.

2. Lack of mental skills

Mental skills encompass self-discipline, confidence, ambition, productivity and positive core beliefs.They affect your attention span, memory, comprehension, processing skills, logic and reasoning. Having strongly developed mental skills enables you to get through any situation without feeling like a failure.

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3. I’ll try this for a while, but if it doesn’t work, I’m moving on!

What motivates and excites you? If your heart is not in something, you cannot do it. Find your passion and purpose in life and go after it. Until you do, you’ll find yourself being unable to commit and bounce from one job, or business venture to another… ultimately making you feel like you’re a failure.

4. False sense of entitlement

“Well the government, my parents, etc. owe me.” Nobody owes you anything. Success comes from hard work and belief in the self, not from a gift horse or rich relative. The fact is, yes, you deserve to be a success, but you also deserve the opportunity to prove to YOURSELF you can do it without relying upon others. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs supports this concept. Providing for your basic needs YOURSELF is the foundation for success.

5. Mind reading/assumptions

Assuming what others are thinking is a side effect of negative core beliefs. It’s also a sign of envy. The quickest remedy for this is to reverse the negative core beliefs that play like a repeating tape recorder in your mind. Mind reading, in time, leads to frequent bad moods, false perceptions/assumptions and blocks out potential relationships and learning opportunities which could lead you to success.

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6. Not willing to take risks

Calculated risks are risks that carry reward without devastating risks. Successful people take risks every single day and so should you. It’s a fact risk comes with reward. The two go hand in hand. Fear of failure leads you to hide behind the unwillingness to take risks. So, basically what you’re doing is blocking out the chances of reward thereby setting yourself up for failure.

7. Impatience – immediate gratification

There is a saying my mom used to tell me when I was little. “All good things come to those who exercise patience.” It frustrated me then, and it still does now. However, it is true. If this saying annoys you like it does me, then think ‘baby steps’ instead. Each day, take one tiny step toward that goal, passion, degree, etc. If you become impatient, focus on the next step and tune out the big picture.

8. You keep doing what you’re doing and you keep getting what you’re getting!

This is a simple concept yet so hard to break. Think of it this way, if you keep beating your head against a brick wall, you will keep getting the same result – a bruised head. Eventually, you will fall to the ground either out of exhaustion, or because you’ve knocked yourself out. Either way, you fail. So STOP doing it and find another approach.

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9. Ego/fear of failure

If you set out to accomplish something and you don’t, what’s the absolute worst that can happen? You fail? Think about Einstein, politicians, athletes. They failed over and over before they accomplished anything great. For many, it takes multiple failures in order to reach success. The only true failure is giving up on your passion.

10. Lack of persistence

A lack of persistence arises out of running out of steam. In other words, it’s mental exhaustion. You’ve worked so hard and feel like there’s nothing left inside of you to put any more into your project. So you slack off, and quit. Countless victories are abandoned before reaching a breakthrough, or having success because you run out of steam at the most crucial point. Usually, when you’re at this mental point of exhaustion, this point is just before success. But you never know because you walk away. It’s imperative to have strongly developed core beliefs and mental skills in order to succeed.

Mental strength is at the center of every failure. It’s imperative to keep the brain and heart aligned in thoughts and actions. If you practice any of these habits, make a conscious decision right now to drop them. You will find with each one you drop, your failures either fall by the wayside, or lead you to success. Failure is definitely a set up. And YOU are the prime suspect. Now go out, drop these habits and conquer your passions!

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Learn more about why failure isn’t fatal.

Featured photo credit: http://www.morguefile.com/archive#/?q=failure&sort=pop&photo_lib=morgueFile via cdn.morguefile.com

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Lynn Silva

Lynn Silva helps solo and entrepreneurs develop mental skills for business.

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)
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No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

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From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

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The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

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But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

How to Make a Reminder Works for You

Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

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Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

More on Building Habits

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Reference

[1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

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