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10 Habits That Lead You To Failure

10 Habits That Lead You To Failure

Failure: It’s a set up… and YOU are the prime suspect. Are you one of those people who sits back in frustration and envy while you watch your friends and acquaintances conquer obstacles and reach success repeatedly? You can too, but first, it’s wise to drop any of these habits you might have.

1. Not practicing what you preach

Have you ever heard this saying? It’s something society demands, so you need to demand it from yourself. Everything begins and ends with the brain-heart connection. If you have thoughts that are negative, you’re likely to practice negative actions. It is imperative you reverse any and all negative thinking. Become your biggest cheerleader and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. “I can do this!” Think positively so your conscious mind practices what your subconscious preaches.

2. Lack of mental skills

Mental skills encompass self-discipline, confidence, ambition, productivity and positive core beliefs.They affect your attention span, memory, comprehension, processing skills, logic and reasoning. Having strongly developed mental skills enables you to get through any situation without feeling like a failure.

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3. I’ll try this for a while, but if it doesn’t work, I’m moving on!

What motivates and excites you? If your heart is not in something, you cannot do it. Find your passion and purpose in life and go after it. Until you do, you’ll find yourself being unable to commit and bounce from one job, or business venture to another… ultimately making you feel like you’re a failure.

4. False sense of entitlement

“Well the government, my parents, etc. owe me.” Nobody owes you anything. Success comes from hard work and belief in the self, not from a gift horse or rich relative. The fact is, yes, you deserve to be a success, but you also deserve the opportunity to prove to YOURSELF you can do it without relying upon others. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs supports this concept. Providing for your basic needs YOURSELF is the foundation for success.

5. Mind reading/assumptions

Assuming what others are thinking is a side effect of negative core beliefs. It’s also a sign of envy. The quickest remedy for this is to reverse the negative core beliefs that play like a repeating tape recorder in your mind. Mind reading, in time, leads to frequent bad moods, false perceptions/assumptions and blocks out potential relationships and learning opportunities which could lead you to success.

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6. Not willing to take risks

Calculated risks are risks that carry reward without devastating risks. Successful people take risks every single day and so should you. It’s a fact risk comes with reward. The two go hand in hand. Fear of failure leads you to hide behind the unwillingness to take risks. So, basically what you’re doing is blocking out the chances of reward thereby setting yourself up for failure.

7. Impatience – immediate gratification

There is a saying my mom used to tell me when I was little. “All good things come to those who exercise patience.” It frustrated me then, and it still does now. However, it is true. If this saying annoys you like it does me, then think ‘baby steps’ instead. Each day, take one tiny step toward that goal, passion, degree, etc. If you become impatient, focus on the next step and tune out the big picture.

8. You keep doing what you’re doing and you keep getting what you’re getting!

This is a simple concept yet so hard to break. Think of it this way, if you keep beating your head against a brick wall, you will keep getting the same result – a bruised head. Eventually, you will fall to the ground either out of exhaustion, or because you’ve knocked yourself out. Either way, you fail. So STOP doing it and find another approach.

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9. Ego/fear of failure

If you set out to accomplish something and you don’t, what’s the absolute worst that can happen? You fail? Think about Einstein, politicians, athletes. They failed over and over before they accomplished anything great. For many, it takes multiple failures in order to reach success. The only true failure is giving up on your passion.

10. Lack of persistence

A lack of persistence arises out of running out of steam. In other words, it’s mental exhaustion. You’ve worked so hard and feel like there’s nothing left inside of you to put any more into your project. So you slack off, and quit. Countless victories are abandoned before reaching a breakthrough, or having success because you run out of steam at the most crucial point. Usually, when you’re at this mental point of exhaustion, this point is just before success. But you never know because you walk away. It’s imperative to have strongly developed core beliefs and mental skills in order to succeed.

Mental strength is at the center of every failure. It’s imperative to keep the brain and heart aligned in thoughts and actions. If you practice any of these habits, make a conscious decision right now to drop them. You will find with each one you drop, your failures either fall by the wayside, or lead you to success. Failure is definitely a set up. And YOU are the prime suspect. Now go out, drop these habits and conquer your passions!

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Learn more about why failure isn’t fatal.

Featured photo credit: http://www.morguefile.com/archive#/?q=failure&sort=pop&photo_lib=morgueFile via cdn.morguefile.com

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

Invaluable Lessons You Can Learn From Your Mistakes

Invaluable Lessons You Can Learn From Your Mistakes

Do you like making mistakes?

I certainly don’t.

Making mistakes is inevitable. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could be at ease with them?

Perhaps there is a way to think of them differently and see their benefits.

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Why Mistakes Feel Dangerous

Mistakes often feel dangerous. Throughout human history, our errors have often been treated as dangerous for a variety of reasons:

  • Our vulnerability. We have limited and fragile support systems. When those systems fail, people often lose their lives.
  • Real dangers. Nature can be dangerous, and making mistakes can put us at the mercy of nature and its animal residents seeking a meal.
  • Ignorance. Many cultures scapegoats someone whenever there is a failure of some kind. Scapegoating can be serious and deadly.
  • Order. Many societies punish those who do not conform to the prevailing orthodoxy and treat difference and non-conformity as a mistake. Even our brains flash an error message whenever we go against prevailing social norms.

We have a history of handling mistakes and failure in an unpleasant way. Since each of us carries our human history with us, it can be a challenge to overcome the fear of making mistakes.

If we can embrace the reality of mistakes, we can free ourselves to be more creative in our lives and dig up some interesting insights.

Why We Can’t Avoid Making Mistakes

Many people operate under the notion that making mistakes is an aberration, a mistake if you will. You can call it perfectionism but it is a more substantial problem. It is really a demand for order and continuity.

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When we think we can eliminate mistakes, we are often working from a perspective that sees the world as a fixed place. The world, however, is not so obliging. Like it or not, the world, and everything in it, is constantly changing.

Change is more constant and pervasive than we can see with our own eyes which is why we often miss it. Our bodies are constantly changing. The natural conditions of the earth change constantly as well. Everything, including economic and cultural systems have life cycles. Everything is in a constant state of flux.

We cannot see all of the changes going on around us since rates of change vary. Unfortunately, when we try to create a feeling of certainty and solidity in our lives or operate from the illusion of stability and order, we are fighting reality and our natural evolution which is built on adapting to change.

It is better to continually bend into this reality rather than fight every change we experience. Fighting it can cause us to make more mistakes. Finding the benefits in change can be useful and help us minimize unnecessary mistakes.

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Lessons Learned from Making Mistakes

Life has so many uncertainties and variables that mistakes are inevitable. Fortunately, there are many things you can learn from making mistakes.

Here is a list of ways to harness the mistakes you make for your benefit.

  1. Point us to something we did not know.
  2. Reveal a nuance we missed.
  3. Deepen our knowledge.
  4. Tell us something about our skill levels.
  5. Help us see what matters and what does not.
  6. Inform us more about our values.
  7. Teach us more about others.
  8. Let us recognize changing circumstances.
  9. Show us when someone else has changed.
  10. Keep us connected to what works and what doesn’t work.
  11. Remind us of our humanity.
  12. Spur us to want to better work which helps us all.
  13. Promote compassion for ourselves and others.
  14. Teach us to value forgiveness.
  15. Help us to pace ourselves better.
  16. Invite us to better choices.
  17. Can teach us how to experiment.
  18. Can reveal a new insight.
  19. Can suggest new options we had not considered.
  20. Can serve as a warning.
  21. Show us hidden fault lines in our lives which can lead us to more productive arrangements.
  22. Point out structural problems in our lives.
  23. Prompt us to learn more about ourselves.
  24. Remind us how we are like others.
  25. Make us more humble.
  26. Help us rectify injustices in our lives.
  27. Show us where to create more balance in our lives.
  28. Tell us when the time to move on has occurred.
  29. Reveal where our passion is and where it is not.
  30. Expose our true feelings.
  31. Bring out problems in a relationship.
  32. Can be a red flag for our misjudgments.
  33. Point us in a more creative direction.
  34. Show us when we are not listening.
  35. Wake us up to our authentic selves.
  36. Can create distance with someone else.
  37. Slow us down when we need to.
  38. Can hasten change.
  39. Reveal our blind spots.
  40. Are the invisible made visible.

Reframe Reality to Handle Mistakes More Easily

The secret to handling mistakes is to:

  • Expect them as part of the process of growth and development.
  • Have an experimental mindset.
  • Think in evolutional rather than fixed terms.

When we accept change as the natural structure of the world, our vulnerability and humanness lets us work with the ebb and flow of life.

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When we recognize the inevitability of mistakes as part of the ongoing experiment which life is, then we can relax more. In doing so we may make fewer of them.

It also helps to keep in mind that trial and error is an organic natural way of living. It is how we have evolved over time. It is better to be with our natural evolution than to fight it and make life harder.

When we adopt an evolutional mindset and see ourselves as part of the ongoing human experiment, we can appreciate that all that has been built up over time which includes the many mistakes our ancestors have made over thousands of years. Each one of us today is a part of that human tradition of learning and experimenting,

Mistakes are part of the trial and error, experimental nature of life. The more you adopt the experimental, evolutional frame, the easier it becomes to handle mistakes.

Handling mistakes well can help you relax and enjoy all aspects of life more.

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Featured photo credit: Sarah Kilian via unsplash.com

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