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Lessons From Our Autistic Son

Lessons From Our Autistic Son

My wife and I have been blessed by having a son with autism. You might be wondering how that is a blessing, and I’m here to tell you that it has been a long yet rewarding road filled with lots of love and affection. The learning opportunities have been plenty, and I’ve found it funny the wisdom often manifesting at the most unusual times and ways.

Autism is just becoming mainstream, as the cases increase and there is no plausible explanation as to what is causing it. The spectrums are vast and diverse, making us appreciate how well our son, Scott, is doing. Every step he takes is a mile in our hearts.

To sum it all up, here are the lessons we’ve learned from our autistic son:

Resilience: I won’t give up, daddy.

Babies are some of the most resilient little beings. Our little one decided one day that crawling was no longer fun, so he chose a knee-height wine rack we had on the floor, which was a very interesting target.

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No matter how many obstacles we placed in his way, our little man managed to beat us at our own game.

Scott used that wine rack, stood up, bobbed up and down in a triumphant way, just to realize he conquered Everest and decided to go back to his toys.

From that time on, we have never underestimated his resilience.

Joy is music.

As our little Scott grew older, he discovered The Wiggles, and it almost became a religion. He was two years old and the only word that would came out of his mouth was “Wiggles”.

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When the music played, he started dancing and making sounds. It wasn’t quite singing, but it was beautiful to us to see that usual blank expression turning to a smile.

The madness of playing The Wiggles all day took a toll on my wife, but even she admits that she doesn’t regret it. Music gave Scott so much joy and us hope.

Patience: I can wait here quietly, daddy.

One mustn’t underestimate a child’s ability for patience. I had to go to an emergency appointment. My wife had taken baby Cohen with her, and Scott had no one to look after him. He sat at the doctor’s office quietly reading the children’s books they had. Once I was in with the specialist, he waited 45 minutes while I was being checked by the specialist.

I can still see his little face while he sat on a little stool knowing daddy was seeing the doctor and he did not protest once.

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Kindness: I can share my toys with Cohen.

As the boys were growing up, the sharing of the toys was initially a friction point. Cohen wanted the world and Scott was finding it hard to share with his little brother.

One day, out of the blue, Scott started giving Cohen the most precious toys he had. Scott played with him and made sure he was happy. It was such a wonderful thing to see how the two, from that point on, became partners in crime.

Love: Daddy, can I give you a hug?

Scott’s ability to love has become very tender, as he politely comes up to me and says: “Daddy do you want a hug?” It is such an ice melting moment. In true daddy fashion, I would pick him up, swing him around, and we both burst out in a barrel of laughs. Cohen would then come up and say, “Do it to me; do it to me.” That kind of love is infectious; it gives me a warm glow in my heart as I type these words.

Humor: You look funny, daddy.

Now that both boys are school-aged, Scott has developed a wicked sense of humor. When his favorite show, The Annoying Orange, is on I can hear him laughing from the other end of our house.

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His laughter is so contagious that I now sit down and watch it with him, It is a wonderful way to have a laugh and spend time with him.

He also comes up with songs and changes the words to say funny things about his little brother. Sometimes I can’t help it and laugh, even though I should stop him from picking on Cohen.

Autism has not been a barrier for Scott to become a fully-functional boy. His level of understanding has exceeded our expectations. If you have or know someone with an autistic child, give them your love and understanding.

These simple lessons can help you appreciate how beautifully different these little souls are.

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Louis Salguero

UX, HCD, UCD, GUI, graphic and web designer

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Last Updated on May 15, 2019

How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

As it appears, the human mind is not capable of not thinking, at least on the subconscious level. Our mind is always occupied by thoughts, whether we want to or not, and they influence our every action.

“Happiness cannot come from without, it comes from within.” – Helen Keller

When we are still children, our thoughts seem to be purely positive. Have you ever been around a 4-year old who doesn’t like a painting he or she drew? I haven’t. Instead, I see glee, exciting and pride in children’s eyes. But as the years go by, we clutter our mind with doubts, fears and self-deprecating thoughts.

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Just imagine then how much we limit ourselves in every aspect of our lives if we give negative thoughts too much power! We’ll never go after that job we’ve always wanted because our nay-saying thoughts make us doubt our abilities. We’ll never ask that person we like out on a date because we always think we’re not good enough.

We’ll never risk quitting our job in order to pursue the life and the work of our dreams because we can’t get over our mental barrier that insists we’re too weak, too unimportant and too dumb. We’ll never lose those pounds that risk our health because we believe we’re not capable of pushing our limits. We’ll never be able to fully see our inner potential because we simply don’t dare to question the voices in our head.

But enough is enough! It’s time to stop these limiting beliefs and come to a place of sanity, love and excitement about life, work and ourselves.

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So…how exactly are we to achieve that?

It’s not as hard as it may seem; you just have to practice, practice, practice. Here are a few ideas on how you can get started.

1. Learn to substitute every negative thought with a positive one.

Every time a negative thought crawls into your mind, replace it with a positive thought. It’s just like someone writes a phrase you don’t like on a blackboard and then you get up, erase it and write something much more to your liking.

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2. See the positive side of every situation, even when you are surrounded by pure negativity.

This one is a bit harder to put into practice, which does not mean it’s impossible.

You can find positivity in everything by mentally holding on to something positive, whether this be family, friends, your faith, nature, someone’s sparkling eyes or whatever other glimmer of beauty. If you seek it, you will find it.

3. At least once a day, take a moment and think of 5 things you are grateful for.

This will lighten your mood and give you some perspective of what is really important in life and how many blessings surround you already.

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4. Change the mental images you allow to enter your mind.

How you see yourself and your surroundings make a huge difference to your thinking. It is like watching a DVD that saddens and frustrates you, completely pulling you down. Eject that old DVD, throw it away and insert a new, better, more hopeful one instead.

So, instead of dwelling on dark, negative thoughts, consciously build and focus on positive, light and colorful images, thoughts and situations in your mind a few times a day.

If you are persistent and keep on working on yourself, your mind will automatically reject its negative thoughts and welcome the positive ones.

And remember: You are (or will become) what you think you are. This is reason enough to be proactive about whatever is going on in your head.

Featured photo credit: Kyaw Tun via unsplash.com

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