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How to Relax Around Your Young Children

How to Relax Around Your Young Children


    It is very easy to relax around other people’s children, but not so much around your own young ones — and by “young” I am speaking between the ages of 3 and 6 years old.

    If you are a parent at a playground brimming with kids, and you suddenly hear a shrieking cry or the sound of an almighty temper tantrum, nothing is more relaxing at that precarious moment to find that the culprit is not your child.

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    But what if it is your child?

    Are you the kind of parent who just freaks out? Are you constantly on a knife’s edge with merely the thought of your child potentially misbehaving, getting into accidents or creating an ungodly mess?

    I certainly am.

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    However, I have gotten a lot better over the years by following these general guidelines:

    Get Off Your Helicopter

    It seems that the “helicopter” school of parenting has garnered a tremendous following in recent years. This style of parenting involves constantly hovering above your children, closely supervising every bit of their activities. While I understand the preciousness with which all parents regard their off-springs, such a modus operandi is not only suffocating for the kids, but can produce insufferable stress for the parents.

    Having started out as a severe practitioner of this parenting method, I have gradually learnt that my two boys (aged 3 and 5) are actually much more resilient than they appear, that they do not need constant encouragement or positive sideline commentary when playing, and that the messes they create (whether on their bodies or around the house/car) are rarely irreversible.

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    More importantly, by getting off my “helicopter”, I have realised how much more I enjoy being around my children, and how less often my shoulders and neck strain from the anxiety of surveying their every move.

    Respect the Kids’ Clocks

    Some parents expect their children to promptly respond to commands. Unfortunately, children do not usually respond to a request the first few times (if at all). This naturally leads to the parent repeating the request (“brush your teeth”, “cleaning up your toys”, “turn off the TV”) again and again, with each iteration accompanied by increasing irritation. It has taken this long for me to realise, however, that my children are not deliberately defying me in such situations but are merely following their own internal clocks.

    While I count the Greenwich-Meridian-based seconds after each request, ruminating as to why they are not responding, my boys usually hear the request but decide to attend to it after whatever it is they are doing at that time, be it assembling a Transformer kit, trying to cram a teddy bear into the kitchen drawer or playing an iPad app that I never knew I had. The point is, eventually, they do respond, just not in the timeframe that I autocratically expect. On the other hand, their tendency to respond markedly deteriorates the more I repeat the request because the repetition then becomes white background noise.

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    So, tell your kids what to do in firm fashion—contrary to some new-age thinking, I believe you have the right to do that as a parent. However, give the little ones a chance to respond in their own time. This will not only eliminate much angst but will help you avoid that dreaded “nagging parent” perception in your children’s eyes.

    Breathe and Smile

    Beyond their clocks, parents need to respect that children are little people with their own personalities and idiosyncrasies. Consequently, it is rare (in my experience anyway) that they will behave in a way that perfectly meshes with your own standard or emotional state. Once you accept that, the only way to relax around your children is to set the broad, non-negotiable limits and then allow your kids a free rein within those limits.

    Of course, they will still do things within those boundaries that make you uneasy or anxious. However, that is where the “breathe & smile” technique comes in handy—a crude but powerful technique that invariably puts things in their proper context and makes you feel blessed to have children of your own.

    Young children between the ages of 3 and 6 are, by their very nature, excitable creatures foreign to the concept of being “relaxed”—that glorious state in which they are so agreeable and malleable. One way they learn is by watching how their parents behave. So, instead of inadvertently having your agitated emotional state rub off on them, learn to relax around your children. It is good for them developmentally, great for their perception of your persona, and downright invaluable for your own emotional well-being.

    (Photo credit: FAther and Young Son Fishing via Shutterstock)

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    Last Updated on August 12, 2019

    12 Best Foods That Improve Memory and Brain Health

    12 Best Foods That Improve Memory and Brain Health

    Nutrition plays a vital role in brain function and staying sharp into the golden years. Personally, my husband is going through medical school, which is like a daily mental marathon. Like any good wife, I am always looking for things that will boost his memory fortitude so he does his best in school.

    But you don’t have to be a med student to appreciate better brainiac brilliance. If you combine certain foods with good hydration, proper sleep and exercise, you may just rival Einstein and have a great memory in no time.

    I’m going to reveal the list of foods coming out of the kitchen that can improve your memory and make you smarter.

    Here are 12 best brain foods that improve memory and brain power:

    1. Nuts

    The American Journal of Epidemiology published a study linking higher intakes of vitamin E with the prevention on cognitive decline.[1]

    Nuts like walnuts and almonds (along with other great foods like avocados) are a great source of vitamin E.

    Cashews and sunflower seeds also contain an amino acid that reduces stress by boosting serotonin levels.

    Walnuts even resemble the brain, just in case you forget the correlation, and are a great source of omega 3 fatty acids, which also improve your mental magnitude.

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    2. Blueberries

    Shown in studies at Tuffs University to benefit both short-term memory and coordination, blueberries pack quite a punch in a tiny blue package.[2]

    When compared to other fruits and veggies, blueberries were found to have the highest amount of antioxidants (especially flavonoids), but strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries are also full of brain benefits.

    3. Tomatoes

    Tomatoes are packed full of the antioxidant lycopene, which has shown to help protect against free-radical damage most notably seen in dementia patients.

    4. Broccoli

    While all green veggies are important and rich in antioxidants and vitamin C, broccoli is a superfood even among these healthy choices.

    Since your brain uses so much fuel (it’s only 3% of your body weight but uses up to 17% of your energy), it is more vulnerable to free-radical damage and antioxidants help eliminate this threat.

    Broccoli is packed full of antioxidants, is well-known as a powerful cancer fighter and is also full of vitamin K, which is known to enhance cognitive function.

    5. Foods Rich in Essential Fatty Acids

    Your brain is the fattest organ (not counting the skin) in the human body, and is composed of 60% fat. That means that your brain needs essential fatty acids like DHA and EPA to repair and build up synapses associated with memory.

    The body does not naturally produce essential fatty acids so we must get them in our diet.

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    Eggs, flax, and oily fish like salmon, sardines, mackerel and herring are great natural sources of these powerful fatty acids. Eggs also contain choline, which is a necessary building block for the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, to help you recall information and concentrate.

    6. Soy

    Soy, along with many other whole foods mentioned here, are full of proteins that trigger neurotransmitters associated with memory.

    Soy protein isolate is a concentrated form of the protein that can be found in powder, liquid, or supplement form.

    Soy is valuable for improving memory and mental flexibility, so pour soy milk over your cereal and enjoy the benefits.

    7. Dark Chocolate

    When it comes to chocolate, the darker the better. Try to aim for at least 70% cocoa. This yummy desert is rich in flavanol antioxidants which increase blood flow to the brain and shield brain cells from aging.

    Take a look at this article if you want to know more benefits of dark chocolate: 15 Surprising and Science-Backed Health Effects of Dark Chocolate

    8. Foods Rich in Vitamins: B vitamins, Folic Acid, Iron

    Some great foods to obtain brain-boosting B vitamins, folic acid and iron are kale, chard, spinach and other dark leafy greens.

    B6, B12 and folic acid can reduce levels of homocysteine in the blood. Homocysteine increases are found in patients with cognitive impairment like Alzheimer’s, and high risk of stroke.

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    Studies showed when a group of elderly patients with mild cognitive impairment were given high doses of B6, B12, and folic acid, there was significant reduction in brain shrinkage compared to a similar placebo group.[3]

    Other sources of B vitamins are liver, eggs, soybeans, lentils and green beans. Iron also helps accelerate brain function by carrying oxygen. If your brain doesn’t get enough oxygen, it can slow down and people can experience difficulty concentrating, diminished intellect, and a shorter attention span.

    To get more iron in your diet, eat lean meats, beans, and iron-fortified cereals. Vitamin C helps in iron absorption, so don’t forget the fruits!

    9. Foods Rich in Zinc

    Zinc has constantly demonstrated its importance as a powerful nutrient in memory building and thinking. This mineral regulates communications between neurons and the hippocampus.

    Zinc is deposited within nerve cells, with the highest concentrations found in the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for higher learning function and memory.

    Some great sources of zinc are pumpkin seeds, liver, nuts, and peas.

    10. Gingko Biloba

    This herb has been utilized for centuries in eastern culture and is best known for its memory boosting brawn.

    It can increase blood flow in the brain by dilating vessels, increasing oxygen supply and removing free radicals.

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    However, don’t expect results overnight: this may take a few weeks to build up in your system before you see improvements.

    11. Green and Black Tea

    Studies have shown that both green and black tea prevent the breakdown of acetylcholine—a key chemical involved in memory and lacking in Alzheimer’s patients.

    Both teas appear to have the same affect on Alzheimer’s disease as many drugs utilized to combat the illness, but green tea wins out as its affects last a full week versus black tea which only lasts the day.

    Find out more about green tea here: 11 Health Benefits of Green Tea (+ How to Drink It for Maximum Benefits)

    12. Sage and Rosemary

    Both of these powerful herbs have been shown to increase memory and mental clarity, and alleviate mental fatigue in studies.

    Try to enjoy these savory herbs in your favorite dishes.

    When it comes to mental magnitude, eating smart can really make you smarter. Try to implement more of these readily available nutrients and see just how brainy you can be!

    More About Boosting Brain Power

    Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

    Reference

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