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How to Ditch Meekness and Walk Tall

How to Ditch Meekness and Walk Tall

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    Are you a meek person?

    If so, your life may be ruled by others, and it’s time to ditch meekness. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? But it’s not. Because meekness is a habitual response to the challenges of life. And it takes time and effort to change ingrained habits.

    The root of meekness is low self-esteem. When our self-esteem is low, we respond to the challenges of life with doubts and fears. And this response is usually established early on. Our parents, caregivers, teachers, and peers leave a lasting legacy that isn’t always positive. For example, if you were bullied, shut up, abused, or controlled as a child, you may well suffer from meekness. I say ‘suffer’ because meekness doesn’t make you happy; it leads to an unfulfilled life.

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    The good new is: you can learn to walk tall!

    My first memory is about ditching meekness. I was two years old and my parents were shifting from England to Germany. In order to keep me safe on board the ferry, my mother put me into a harness attached by a lead .

    I was furious.

    Years later, I asked my mother about this memory, and she told me what happened next. Apparently, I threw such a tantrum  that people gathered around to watch the screaming toddler writhing on the floor. My poor mother was so embarrassed that she eventually took me out of the harness. I immediately slipped into the crowd. Gone!

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    As you can imagine, my parents were frantic. In the end, a large group of passengers started looking for me. Finally, they found me in the crew’s quarters, happily swinging on ladders.

    In terms of meekness, I haven’t improved much since then. And that’s a good thing. Why? Because ditching meekness gives you freedom.

    Meekness lets others rule your life.

    In bygone days, meekness was a seen as an admirable womanly attribute. It meant that women didn’t complain about not having rights,  being her husband’s chattel,  not having any financial independence, or not being able to vote. These days, the cultural majority prefer to see meekness not so much in women, but among cultural minorities. Otherwise – oh my gosh – they might even demand equal rights!

    St. Matthew said: “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” Well, maybe that’s true  – but they’ll have to wait a long time until everyone else has had first pick!

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    We don’t have to wait. After all, we all have the ability to change. All we need to do is to practice new responses to familiar patterns. Read on to find out how how to change.

    Seven tips on how to ditch meekness

    1. Find your voice
      Meek people usually speak in a quiet voice. Ask yourself who you really are under the veneer of meekness. Let that inner person speak out. Great ways to find your voice is to take up voice training,  join Toastmasters, or take singing lessons.
    2. Bring out the warrior within
      If your confidence is low, take up a martial art. Martial arts are designed to bring out the warrior within.
    3. Speak up
      Meekness makes us silent. Practice speaking up. Join a friendly group and say just one thing at every meeting.
    4. Use affirmations
      Affirmations are great tools to change the way we see ourselves. Put stickers on your mirror and in unexpected places, saying “I am getting stronger every day!”
    5. Stand strong
      Meekness is evident in the way we hold our body. It shows in rounded shoulders and collapsed posture. Train yourself to stand upright, and you will immediately feel the benefits.
    6. Change your self-talk
      Notice what you say to yourself. You’ll find that you put yourself down much more often than anyone else does! When you notice a negative thought, replace it with something positive.
    7. Be with positive people
      Confidence is infectious! If you hang out with people who are positive and can see your potential, it helps you to see yourself in a different light.

    If you suffer from  low self-esteem, it’s helpful to find the root cause. You may find that someone in your early life put you down again and again. Maybe your parents said to you, “You’re hopeless!” or your teachers said, “You’ll never get anywhere.” The strange thing is that we internalize these negative messages – even strengthen them – and then use them over and over for the rest of our life! Here’s a sure-fire strategy in order to release ourselves from past humiliations:

    Say ‘no’ to your gremlin

    Next time you hear your own judgmental thoughts telling you that you’re no good, imagine a little gremlin sitting on your left shoulder, whispering nasty things into your ear. What does it look like? What color is it? Maybe you can imagine it in some way that’s funny and makes you smile.

    Whenever you notice negative self-talk, imagine the gremlin sitting there and say to it firmly, “Not now!” Then carefully wipe it off your shoulder. (To others it’ll look as if you’re brushing lint off your clothes.)

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    It’s really important to treat your gremlin with kindness as well as with firmness. After all, your negative voices are the remnants of remarks that hurt you in the past. The gremlin is like a little part of yourself that is still smarting from put-downs that happened years ago.

    If you say ‘no’ to your gremlin over and over, you will begin to see that your negative self-talk has nothing at all to do with who you are. It has to do with how other people hurt you in the past. Then you will be able to walk taller each day.

    Ditch meekness today and begin to walk tall!

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    Last Updated on January 11, 2021

    11 Hidden Benefits of Using Oil Diffusers

    11 Hidden Benefits of Using Oil Diffusers

    Affordable, relaxing, and healthy, oil diffusers are gaining popularity with people everywhere due to their extensive benefits. Oil diffusers work through the simple process of oil diffusion, which uses heat to turn oil into a vapor that is then spread around a living space. Diffused oil can have several relaxation and health-related benefits, including safe scent-dispersion, mosquito and mold defense, stress relief, and more!

    Read on for 11 hidden benefits of using oil diffusers.

    1. Safe Scents That Make Sense

    Unlike candles or air fresheners, oil diffusers release cleansing molecules into your air that work to purify it, not overload it with unhealthy chemicals. Electronic diffusers also do not pose the fire risk that candles do. Plus, they contain the added feature of interchangeability, which means you change oil types for different scents and health benefits.

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    2. Stress Relief

    Several lab studies have confirmed that diffusing essential oils like lavender have been shown to reduce stress and help relieve anxiety in medical patients. Preliminary studies have also shown that oil diffusers can help alleviate symptoms of depression.

    3. Improved Sleep

    Diffused oil has relaxing properties that can help people of all ages fall asleep quicker and sleep more soundly. Electronic diffusers not only have the option to mix and match different oil blends (Try a lavender, Bulgarian rose, and Roman chamomile blend to help with insomnia), they also run at a gentle hum that helps relax an agitated mind. Many also come with an auto shut-off feature to help conserve oils once you have fallen asleep.

    4. Appetite Control

    Much like gum, oil diffusers can help stimulate the senses in a way that works to curb appetite. New research has shown that diffused peppermint oil can help curb appetite by inducing a satiety response within the body. Diffused peppermint oil has also been shown to increase energy.

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    5. Bacteria and Mold Killing

    When essential oils are diffused in the air, they break down free radicals that contribute to the growth of harmful bacteria. Eucalyptus, thyme, and tea tree oils are especially good for this purpose. Diffused oil is also highly effective when it comes to combating fungal yeast threats, as the oil help makes the air inhospitable for yeasts such as mold. Pine and red thyme essential oils are best for combating mold.

    6. Decongestion and Mucus Control

    Ever tried Vick’s Vapo-Rub? Its decongesting powers come from active ingredients made from the eucalyptus tree. In principle, oil diffusers work the same way as Vapo-Rub, except they diffuse their decongesting vapor all around the room, not just on your chest or neck. Oil diffusers have been known to cure pneumonia in lab mice.

    7. Mosquito Repellant

    Nobody likes mosquitoes — but when the trade-off means using repellants full of DEET, a toxic chemical that can be especially harmful to children, mosquito control can often seem like a lose-lose. However, scientists have shown that oil diffusers can be used as a safe and highly effective mosquito repellant. Studies have shown that a diffused oil mixture containing clove essential oil and lemongrass essential oil repelled one type of Zika-carrying mosquito, the Aedes aegypti mosquito, at a rate of 100%.

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    8. Pain Relief

    While applying oils directly to areas of your body may be the most effective way to alleviate pain, diffusing essential oils can also be an effective means of pain relief. When we inhale healthy essential oils, they enter our blood stream and can help internally relieve persistent pain from headaches, overworked muscles, and sore joints.

    9. The New Anti-Viral

    Research into the anti-viral effects of oil diffusion is now just gaining steam. A recent study showed that star anise essential oil was proven in medical experiments to destroy the herpes simplex virus in contained areas at a rate of 99%. Another study showed the popular DoTerra oil blend OnGuard to have highly-effective influenza-combating powers.

    10. Improved Cognitive Function

    Diffusing essential oils has also been shown to improve cognitive function. Many essential oils have adaptogenic qualities, which can work twofold in soothing us when we’re stressed, and giving our bodies a pick-me-up when we’re feeling down or sluggish. By working to level out an imbalanced mood, diffused oils also help us to focus. There are also several essential oils which have been shown to help balance the body’s hormones. With prolonged use, these oils can work to repair the underlying causes responsible for hindering cognitive function.

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    11. Money Saving

    With ten clear benefits of oil diffusers already outlined, there is one more that should now be obvious: using an oil diffuser will help you to save money. As an anti-viral, bug repelling, and stress-relief solution rolled into one safe product, an oil diffuser used with the proper oils will save you money on products you might otherwise be buying to help cure those pesky headaches or get your kids to fall asleep on time. If you’re wondering just how affordable oil diffusers can be, check the buyer’s guide to the best oil diffusers — you’ll be sure to find one that fits your budget!

    Featured photo credit: Jopeel Quimpo via unsplash.com

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