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How to Ditch Meekness and Walk Tall

How to Ditch Meekness and Walk Tall

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    Are you a meek person?

    If so, your life may be ruled by others, and it’s time to ditch meekness. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? But it’s not. Because meekness is a habitual response to the challenges of life. And it takes time and effort to change ingrained habits.

    The root of meekness is low self-esteem. When our self-esteem is low, we respond to the challenges of life with doubts and fears. And this response is usually established early on. Our parents, caregivers, teachers, and peers leave a lasting legacy that isn’t always positive. For example, if you were bullied, shut up, abused, or controlled as a child, you may well suffer from meekness. I say ‘suffer’ because meekness doesn’t make you happy; it leads to an unfulfilled life.

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    The good new is: you can learn to walk tall!

    My first memory is about ditching meekness. I was two years old and my parents were shifting from England to Germany. In order to keep me safe on board the ferry, my mother put me into a harness attached by a lead .

    I was furious.

    Years later, I asked my mother about this memory, and she told me what happened next. Apparently, I threw such a tantrum  that people gathered around to watch the screaming toddler writhing on the floor. My poor mother was so embarrassed that she eventually took me out of the harness. I immediately slipped into the crowd. Gone!

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    As you can imagine, my parents were frantic. In the end, a large group of passengers started looking for me. Finally, they found me in the crew’s quarters, happily swinging on ladders.

    In terms of meekness, I haven’t improved much since then. And that’s a good thing. Why? Because ditching meekness gives you freedom.

    Meekness lets others rule your life.

    In bygone days, meekness was a seen as an admirable womanly attribute. It meant that women didn’t complain about not having rights,  being her husband’s chattel,  not having any financial independence, or not being able to vote. These days, the cultural majority prefer to see meekness not so much in women, but among cultural minorities. Otherwise – oh my gosh – they might even demand equal rights!

    St. Matthew said: “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” Well, maybe that’s true  – but they’ll have to wait a long time until everyone else has had first pick!

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    We don’t have to wait. After all, we all have the ability to change. All we need to do is to practice new responses to familiar patterns. Read on to find out how how to change.

    Seven tips on how to ditch meekness

    1. Find your voice
      Meek people usually speak in a quiet voice. Ask yourself who you really are under the veneer of meekness. Let that inner person speak out. Great ways to find your voice is to take up voice training,  join Toastmasters, or take singing lessons.
    2. Bring out the warrior within
      If your confidence is low, take up a martial art. Martial arts are designed to bring out the warrior within.
    3. Speak up
      Meekness makes us silent. Practice speaking up. Join a friendly group and say just one thing at every meeting.
    4. Use affirmations
      Affirmations are great tools to change the way we see ourselves. Put stickers on your mirror and in unexpected places, saying “I am getting stronger every day!”
    5. Stand strong
      Meekness is evident in the way we hold our body. It shows in rounded shoulders and collapsed posture. Train yourself to stand upright, and you will immediately feel the benefits.
    6. Change your self-talk
      Notice what you say to yourself. You’ll find that you put yourself down much more often than anyone else does! When you notice a negative thought, replace it with something positive.
    7. Be with positive people
      Confidence is infectious! If you hang out with people who are positive and can see your potential, it helps you to see yourself in a different light.

    If you suffer from  low self-esteem, it’s helpful to find the root cause. You may find that someone in your early life put you down again and again. Maybe your parents said to you, “You’re hopeless!” or your teachers said, “You’ll never get anywhere.” The strange thing is that we internalize these negative messages – even strengthen them – and then use them over and over for the rest of our life! Here’s a sure-fire strategy in order to release ourselves from past humiliations:

    Say ‘no’ to your gremlin

    Next time you hear your own judgmental thoughts telling you that you’re no good, imagine a little gremlin sitting on your left shoulder, whispering nasty things into your ear. What does it look like? What color is it? Maybe you can imagine it in some way that’s funny and makes you smile.

    Whenever you notice negative self-talk, imagine the gremlin sitting there and say to it firmly, “Not now!” Then carefully wipe it off your shoulder. (To others it’ll look as if you’re brushing lint off your clothes.)

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    It’s really important to treat your gremlin with kindness as well as with firmness. After all, your negative voices are the remnants of remarks that hurt you in the past. The gremlin is like a little part of yourself that is still smarting from put-downs that happened years ago.

    If you say ‘no’ to your gremlin over and over, you will begin to see that your negative self-talk has nothing at all to do with who you are. It has to do with how other people hurt you in the past. Then you will be able to walk taller each day.

    Ditch meekness today and begin to walk tall!

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    Last Updated on November 17, 2019

    20 Creative Ways To Say Thank You

    20 Creative Ways To Say Thank You

    Saying, “Thank you,” can be difficult to do. Some things just demand a little something extra because of the magnitude of the favor or the depth of appreciation involved. But what can you do to say thank you in a meaningful way? Sometimes you have to get a little more creative than just firing off an email. Here are 20 creative ways to say thank you that your friends and family will remember and cherish!

    1. Make a gift bag.

    A unique, homemade gift bag with a custom label or a note is a simple but heartfelt way to show your appreciation for the wonderful things your friends or family have done for you.

    2. Give a toast.

    Many people fear public speaking more than death, giving this particular thank-you a little extra meaning. Composing a sincere, eloquent toast and delivering it is a nice way to show appreciation that truly comes from the heart.

    3. Write a poem.

    “Roses are red, violets are blue…” Uh, you could write that...but why not put a little extra zing in it? Find out what their favorite kind of poetry is: haiku, free verse, iambic pentameter, and so on. (Google them if you don’t know what they are.) Then write one that expresses why they deserve your thanks…and why you’re glad to give it!

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    4. Create your own labels.

    There are a number of websites that offer custom gift labels. Find one that fits your personality and that of your friends and create a personalized thank-you label!

    5. Give a gift card.

    Sometimes choosing what to give a friend can be tough. A gift card is a good way to get around this problem. As always, be sure to include a personalized note or card thanking the recipient for their friendship and help.

    6. Send a letter.

    Snail-mail is a largely lost art form. Don’t worry about how long the letter is, though. What really matters here is that you took the time to put pen to paper and express your feelings sincerely and honestly!

    7. Use social media to send a special message.

    If someone’s done something you think the whole world should know about, why not put out a social media blast? Use your blog, your Facebook, your Google+ account, and your Twitter to spread the word about why this person’s someone your friends will want to know too!

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    8. Make your own digital greeting card.

    While an email isn’t always the best way to go when saying thank you, a digital greeting card that you put time and effort into creating can really brighten someone’s day! Make the card reflect the recipient’s personality and compose a short message of thanks for their generosity.

    9. Make a YouTube video.

    Sometimes, actually hearing someone say, “Thank you,” can make all the difference. Why not take it a step further and create a special video of thanks for your friends, family, and those special people who helped make your day so important…or who helped you through that rough time?

    10. Deliver cookies or candies.

    Making something yourself is a fun and delightful way to say thank you to someone. Create a sampling of baked goods or homemade candies and decorate them with a simple message, or make them so they form letters! (Think Valentine’s candies, only situationally appropriate.) Attach a thank-you note or label and surprise those special people with the gift of your time and creativity.

    11. Make surprise gifts for guests.

    There’s no need to wait until “later” to send a thank-you message. Why not do it at the time? Create little gift packets or bags for your guests with surprises inside. This is a great way to say thanks to the people who attended your event, and make sure they won’t want to miss the next one!

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    12. Put together a flower basket.

    Whether you prefer fresh or artificial flowers, assembling a flower basket with a thank-you note is an excellent way to brighten someone’s day and show you appreciate them.

    13. Take a picture.

    Sometimes capturing the moment is the best way to put a smile on someone’s face. Have someone take a picture of you receiving that special gift or opening that surprise package and send the giver a copy with a quick but sincere note to say thanks!

    14. Repay their generosity by paying it forward.

    The best gifts come from the heart, and the best way to repay a gift is to pay it forward. If your friend has a special cause they care about or something they believe in passionately, why not make a donation in their name or volunteer some of your time to the cause? This will mean more than any number of cookies, candies, or thank-you notes because you’re taking your friend’s love and spreading it around to others.

    15. Do something special for them.

    Take them out to dinner. (See “make a toast.”) Give them that movie they’ve been wanting forever. Cook them dinner and give them a present when they arrive. Any of these are good options for showing someone you really appreciate them and how grateful you are to have them in your life.

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    16. Reciprocate their help.

    Everyone needs help sometime. Whether it’s holding their hand through a particularly traumatic incident or helping them replace the alternator in their car, being there when they need it shows you remember what they did for you and how much it meant. It also shows that you’re willing to be just as good a friend to them as they were to you!

    17. Be there for them.

    Not every thank-you gesture has to be a grand public spectacle. Sometimes just giving them a place to come hang out when they’re lonely or showing up to offer them a sympathetic shoulder means the world to a person.

    18. Listen to them.

    Listening is almost as lost an art as the handwritten letter. When your friend or family member needs to talk, listen to them. Ask questions when appropriate, but just letting them know you’re there and paying attention to them to the exclusion of all else for a little while is a great way to say thank you for the times they listened to you.

    19. Say it in another language…or two…

    A simple thank you is great…but why not spice it up a little? Instead of just saying, “Thank you,” write or make a video of you telling them thank you in different languages. Some examples might be, “Gracias! Merci! Danke schoen! Spasibo! Mahalo!” and any other ways or languages you can think of. (The ones listed above are Spanish, French, German, Russian, and Hawaiian, in case you were wondering.) If you want to really get tricky about it, say a short phrase in each language that conveys why you’re thanking them!

    20. Show them some love.

    A simple touch, a hug, or helping out when they need it without being asked may be the most powerful gratitude message you can send. Offer to take the dogs for a walk, sit for the kids for a few hours, or run to the grocery store so they don’t have to. The little things are often the most important and meaningful. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still send a note, but sometimes your simple presence and willingness to help is all that really matters.

    Featured photo credit: Hanny Naibaho via unsplash.com

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