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How to Tell If Your Child Has Anger Issues

How to Tell If Your Child Has Anger Issues

Many children have difficulties in expressing their emotions. Dealing with child anger is certainly frustrating for many parents, as they don’t always know how to handle it. Parents need to know how to recognize when their children have anger problems, and take the proper steps to deal with these issues. Some of the signs to look for include.

1. Frequent Temper Tantrums

This is indicative of a child who is angry and always on edge.

2. Disagreeability

Children older than two years of age should be flexible. If they are disagreeable a lot, there may be some psychological issues to deal with.

3. Lack of Problem-Solving Skills

They are unable to solve problems, which leads to frustration, which results in anger outbursts.

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4. Hitting

When children are aggressive and hit others beyond the age of five, it is a sign that they have anger issues. These issues have to be addressed; otherwise, these children will likely become bullies.

5. Lack of Friends

Children with anger issues have problems making and keeping friends, and tend to alienate others.

6. Revenge-Oriented

Many children who have problems with anger tend to always want to get even with someone.

7. Self-Destructive Behavior

Anger issues can lead to children threatening to hurt themselves, and in many cases, following through with those threats.

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8. Property Damage

Anger can lead children to lash out, resulting in the destruction of things around them.

9. Words of Hatred

Often, anger issues cause children to express hate (verbal and physical) towards friends and relatives.

10. Hurting Those Who Are Weaker

When children are angry or feel picked on, they tend to lash out against those who are weaker than themselves, including smaller children and animals.

While anger issues are a sign of emotional immaturity, anger overload could be a sign of mental health issues. If your children show the signs of anger overload, you should contact child psychologist or therapist to assess the situation. There are ways for parents to effectively deal with children who have anger issues. It is important for parents to let their children know that it is okay to feel angry, and to express their anger. Here are some things parents can do to help their children deal with their emotions:

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  • Show them you care. If a child is angry, talk to them about it. Don’t just send them to their room to think about their problems and actions. Let them know that you care about their feelings, and stay with them for as long as they need you.

  • Acknowledge the problem. When your child is angry or upset, ask them why. Tell them that you understand their feelings, and if you know what the problem is.

  • Don’t lose your temper. The worst thing you can do when a child is angry is to get angry yourself. Show them how you can act calmly when angered, and set an example for them. Losing your temper is just going to add fuel to the fire.

  • Setting limits. Children need to know that they can show their anger, but there need to be limits on how much they show. For instance, they can cry, yell, or be silent, but they should not be allowed to get away with violence. Let your child know that you understand their anger, and help them find other ways to vent it.

  • Use anger management techniques. When a child feels an urge to hit something, give them a pillow or a stuffed toy that they can’t hurt. Tell them to stomp their feet, or draw or write down their feelings. Teach them about relaxation breathing, and other forms of stress relief.

  • Help children know the warning signs. When a child is about to lose their temper, there are warning signs. Parents will recognize these signs, and can make their children aware of them as well.

  • Help children understand their feelings. The more children understand why they feel the way they do, the easier it is for them to control their anger. Encourage your children to learn how to express their feelings in a constructive manner.

Featured photo credit: greg westfall via flickr.com

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Jane Hurst

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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