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After I Read This, I Figured It’d Be Better Not To Know The Gender Of the Baby

After I Read This, I Figured It’d Be Better Not To Know The Gender Of the Baby

Is it a boy or a girl? Everyone will be asking you that as soon as they know your family is expecting a baby. This will continue right up to the birth and then all will be revealed! But only if you have decided not to discover or reveal the gender of your baby. Why on earth would you want to do that?

There are lots of good, sound reasons why. Here are 8 of them.

1. You take a stand against gender stereotyping

If you do not know the sex of the baby, you are keeping things as gender neutral as possible. This can help you concentrate on what type of person your child will be and how you will influence their character when growing up. Ian McEwan is in favor of not finding out the sex either.

Bonding is not affected negatively. When talking about the new arrival, you can refer to your baby as a boy or a girl as the mood takes you. It enriches the expectation that no matter what their sex is, their birth is going to bring great joy.

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In India, where gender is sometimes a matter of life and death, the Supreme Court has ruled that ultrasounds used for determining the sex of a fetus are illegal.

“Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short and wear shirts and boots because it’s okay to be a boy; for girls it’s like promotion. But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, according to you, because secretly you believe that being a girl is degrading.” – Ian McEwan.

2. You do not have to worry about a gender reveal party

This will save you a lot of hassle and expense. In addition, you will not be showered with blue or pink outfits, accessories and gadgets.

3. You can have a lot of fun choosing the baby’s name

Now that you have no idea which way it will go, you can both have a great time thinking about possible names. You never have to bother with unisex baby names which are somewhat limited, such as Ashley, Ashton, Leslie, Sydney, Cameron, or Wesley. When planning a boy’s name, bear in mind what he may have to put up with at school. It can be a great weapon for bullies. The choice of a girl’s name is much less restricted.

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4. You cannot totally rely on an ultrasound test

Just in case you are having doubts during the nine month wait, console yourself with the fact that the US is not always 100% accurate. In fact, experts say that there is a margin of error of 15%, as a lot depends on the position of the baby and its movements.

If your medical insurance does not cover this type of test, think of the savings and how they can be spent on your new arrival

5. You will not have to listen to old wives’ tales

Once people know the sex of the baby, they go on and on about your shape and the way you walk. Lots of popular beliefs which go back a long time. The most notorious are those quoted in the Distaff Gospels which date back to 1470. They say that if you start walking with your right foot first, you will have a boy. If you start with the left foot, you will have a girl.

But modern day ‘old wives’ go one better. They pretend to be able to guess the sex by analyzing your morning sickness, heartburn and, of course, the shape of your bump!

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6. You can plan on recycling

Did you know that the parents who decide not to discover their babies’ gender are known as Team Green? They are adding a new color to the scene. Getting away from the pink for a girl and blue for a boy is just the beginning in the mission to make gender more neutral. But it is still controversial and many parents are reluctant to go down the Team Green route, especially for their firstborn.

However, if you do decide to go Team Green, just think of the savings and how you can recycle all this stuff again and again for all those brothers and sisters who will follow. You can use your gender neuter cradle, bedding, stroller and toys again and again.

7. Variations on a theme

Some couples cannot reach an agreement. The father may want to know and book the US and not tell the mother because she does not want to know, or vice versa. Then there is the whole question of what you tell all the curious relatives.

If you want to be traditional, then there is no need to know, like the zillions of parents down the ages. The great thing about it is that there is no gender socialization going on during the pregnancy. It is comforting to know that your child is enjoying nine gender-free months.

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8. Pre-birth gender conditioning is reduced

Mothers who know the sex of their baby address and talk to it differently. They also interpret movements accordingly. Vigorous kicking will be a footballer, if it is a boy. The girl on the other hand will become a brilliant ballerina! The gender role stereotyping has already begun before the baby is even born. This is one the great arguments in favor of not knowing, especially if you think we are too gender oriented as a society.

As we have seen, not knowing the sex of your baby has enormous advantages and can lead to more anticipation, excitement and joy on the big day. It puts the emphasis squarely on what kind of person your baby is going to be, whether it is a boy or a girl.

 

Featured photo credit: Baby Savannah/ Eduardo Merille via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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