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8 Types of Attitude Most People Believe Are Essential to Staying Fit

8 Types of Attitude Most People Believe Are Essential to Staying Fit

Do you approach fitness with an ‘all or nothing’ mentality and obsess over the ‘eat clean & train dirty’ motto?

Are you too busy with the gym to worry about developing relationships and having some semblance of a life? Do you feel guilty for eating things that aren’t included in your diet?

If this is you—it’s time to take a timeout and adjust your attitude toward fitness.

Despite what you might have heard, becoming sexy and fit doesn’t equate to making numerous life altering sacrifices, missing out on meaningful events, or living a life that isn’t fun and fulfilling.

Will you have to make some sacrifices? Yes. However, I prefer to look at those as healthy adjustments to one’s life. Approaching life with the wrong fitness attitude will put a damper on your personal life and eventually lead you to resenting fitness.

If you’re new to fitness, stuck in a rut, or obsessing, then take a moment and review the list below of unhealthy fitness attitudes. Develop a positive fitness attitude before you start to pull your hair out.

Attitude #1- You avoid all your favorite foods

The number one complaint by people trying to start a healthier lifestyle is being forced to hand over their ‘unhealthy foods’. Healthier choices are needed in order to lose fat, but you don’t have to give up your favorite foods completely.

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Depriving yourself of your favorite foods is a surefire way to resent fitness. Depriving yourself increases your chances of binge eating. After binging, you’re more likely to feel shame and guilt about your indulgences.

If you’re exercising and eating healthy the majority of the time, indulge in your favorite foods with zero guilt given. This lifestyle of eating healthy isn’t a one week or three month excursion—it’s meant to be with us forever.

Life is too short to never enjoy the pleasures of food.

fitness attitude
    Everybody deserves cake from time to time

    Attitude #2- You take calorie counting too far

    Calorie counting gets out of hand when you start to obsess over your daily choices.

    Calorie counting doesn’t mean counting every little spec of food that you consume. Calorie counting doesn’t mean hitting your exact goal to the tee or it’s a failed day. If you want 150 grams of protein, but only reach 135 grams, then that’s a good job all on its own.

    Calorie counting best serves as a tool to teach you about food and aim for a daily goal.

    Attitude #3- Your confidence about your body hinges on others’ opinions

    At times, the mind is a master of deception. With advertising, people sprouting up in our newsfeeds modeling in their underwear, and magazines showing off the latest celeb diet of ‘this person lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks’, our self-worth is tested everywhere we turn.

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    Relying on external sources to determine our self-worth is a recipe for disappointment.

    The most important fact never stated is that those individuals are professionals—it’s their job to look as seemingly perfect as they do. They have professional chefs, trainers, nutritionists, maids, assistants, and any other kind of help. They don’t have to worry about taking care of their business, family, kids, school, cooking, cleaning, and the whole nine yards, as many of us do.

    Give yourself a break and stop comparing yourself to professionals who have hours upon hours to invest into their fitness. As long as you’re working hard, acting with intent, and being consistent with your habits, you should feel no shame or guilt. Results will happen.

    Will it take longer? Yes. But, who cares? The joy is in the journey and the growing that happens, not the destination. Gaining acceptance and letting go of needing approval of others will land you in a better place mentally and physically.

    Attitude #4- You think fitness is a one trick pony

    The beauty about fitness is that there isn’t only one way to go about exercising. Just as an RPG (role playing game) leads itself to exploration, discovery, and experimenting, your fitness is the same.

    Allow yourself to explore different styles of strength training. Discover a form of yoga that you enjoy. Experiment with methods of eating until you find one that works for you. Fitness is meant to tag along while you live a fulfilling and adventurous life—not become a dictator of your life.

    Attitude #5- You force yourself to do activities you hate

    The majority of people are under the assumption that cardio (i.e. long distance running) is needed in order to lose fat and become fitter. This outdated rule couldn’t be any further from the truth.

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    While some love to run, which I have no problems with, it’s not the only solution. If you make yourself do something you despise or feel uncomfortable with, you’ll stick with it for maybe a week or so. Soon, willpower fades because there’s only a limited amount for each of us. Fitness is meant for exploration—not pigeon holing yourself into a one size fits all strategy.

    Try new activities and see what sticks. Just because you’re not at a gym, it doesn’t mean you can’t improve your fitness. Get creative and go for a hike, explore your city and discover hidden gems that a car won’t show you. Go for a bike ride along the countryside, and most importantly, just stay active and enjoy yourself.

    Attitude #6- You tend to avoid social interactions for fear of ruining your diet

    It’s a Friday night and your friends give you a call to go out for drinks and unwind. You instead tell them, “I’m going to stay in” and use an easy excuse such as, “I’m too tired” or “I have a lot of work to do tonight.”

    How do I know these are common excuses? Because I have used them myself. I was afraid of ruining my diet and losing all of my weeks progress. I was also unhappy and depressed.

    If this is you, then tell yourself “no more!”. Let it be known to yourself that you won’t allow your diet to imprison you and cause you to miss out on activities with friends. Your macros are not worth becoming a hermit and living a life of solitude.

    Go out and have a drink or two with no shame. Keep the big picture in mind. No one in the history of fitness ever lost all their progress from having a couple of frothy cold drinks.

    fitness attitude
      have a couple drinks with zero guilts given

      Attitude #7- You workout to impress others

      What’s your motivation for working out? Your boyfriend or girlfriend? Your social circle? Your pretend friends on Facebook?

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      If any of those are the answer, you need to adjust your fitness attitude. External motivation will only take you so far. The flame burning to impress others will only light so long before it flames out. Sustainability with fitness comes from a fire within that will always burn—no matter the outside world’s opinion.

      At the end of the day, who cares how much you bench or squat? Who cares if your abs are or aren’t perfectly symmetrical? Who cares if you perform CrossFit, are into bodybuilding, or even general strength training? And ladies, it doesn’t matter if your legs aren’t toned to perfection.

      Don’t waste your time worrying about the minutiae of details—you have a life to live.

      Attitude #8- You quit when it gets tough

      The first few weeks of weight loss were easy like Sunday morning. Now, the weight isn’t flying off, work is stressful, and life is hitting you from all angles.

      Will you quit and claim, “weight loss isn’t for me” and “I’ll start back once life settles down”?

      Those are excuses. And excuses only sound best to those who make them.

      Let go of your excuses. There isn’t a better time to start than right now. Your setbacks and resistances are blessings in disguise to help you grow. Something will always show up and try to stop you.

      Will you let it stop you again or will you keep marching on?

      As W.L. Bateman said “If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.”

      More by this author

      Julian Hayes II

      Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

      18 Basic Rules To Lead A Fulfilling Life Starting Today, Stop These 6 Things to Become the Best Version of Yourself 5 Fun Ways to Transform Your Body And Health When You Don’t Feel Like Going to the Gym 4 Common Reasons Why You Fall Short With Your Weight Loss Goals (And What You Should Do Instead) 7 (Surprising) Actions to Take For Guaranteed Fat Loss

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      Last Updated on February 18, 2019

      13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with It and Enjoy the Ride

      13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with It and Enjoy the Ride

      Fear. I spend my life talking about fear — fighting fears, fixing fears and understanding fears. And yet I doubt I get 10 calls a year from people saying “Mandie can you help me fix my fear?”

      Why is this so critically important to you?

      The realization for me is that fear is not the fundamental driving force in your life it’s what regardless of whether I’m talking to a doctor, a teacher, a CEO’s, a senior citizens or teenager – every single one of those conversations has a direct correlation with your world.

      Fear can range from the overwhelming desire to look away or stop in your tracks to literally fleeing your country and the life you knew. In this article, I will share you with 13 tips to face your fears and enjoy the ride.

      1. Know That Fear Is Real, but Can Be Overcome

      Right now around the world people are facing fear — real fear. Fear that I pray my children and I will never experience. Does that lessen my fears or your fears in your relativity safe 21st century life?

      When I look at the world we all live in, I find that fear like so many other emotions can mean so many different things to so many different people:

      • The child who has to be physically dragged to their first day of school.
      • The man facing the judge.
      • The woman with her hand poised over the buttons over her phone because she has to walk down a dark corridor late at night alone.
      • The man as the surgeon says “count backwards from 10 Mr Smith.”
      • The woman that’s told “We are sorry, we can’t help you.”
      • The man that faces the empty circle of a gun and prays for his very existence.

      These and a million more (Portrayed in every kind of movie, book or song you could imagine) are what make us human. We face fear and somehow move forward or are stopped in our tracks.

      Like the rabbit in the headlights of the car that veers off through the field away from the tyres of the car or stays still praying for salvation. Like someone will save them. Sound familiar?

      Fear is huge. Fear is everywhere and yet fear can be overcome, controlled and can even be a power for good.

      2. Accept Your Fear

      Firstly if you aren’t facing the barrel of the gun, atrocities that make the news or impeding death, that’s a good start. However it doesn’t mean your fear is any less real.

      We are quick to say “I can’t moan, my life is not as bad as X.” While in theory, that’s honorable your appreciation of Mr. or Mrs. X’s horrific life won’t change anything directly. So accept your fear is relative to you.

      And here’s what can be done.

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      3. Get Some Perspective

      I found myself asking anyone that would answer “what is your worst fear”. The answer that intrigued me the most came from my daughter (15 years old and she usually has a copy of Fight the Fear – my book – in her school bag so she can help someone else be as positive and confident as her. No matter what life throws up.)

      And her fear, surprised me — heights. I pointed out that we live in a sprawling bungalow (one storey) and the highest she goes is two storeys’ at school! She laughed but added, fear isn’t like that Mum. I know it’s not a real fear, but it’s like when you stand on a chair and feel unsafe.

      That girl will go far. Because she truly gets fear.

      We know something is scary and yet we still do it. Why? Because we have a perspective to the fear. When you lose perspective, it can feel too big, and too scary.

      So look around you to get some perspective on your fear:

      • Are you really at risk?
      • Will this kill you?
      • Which leads us on to..
      • If the worse was to happen what would it be?

      4. Hold a Hand

      As a coach, it is my job to holds someone’s metaphorical hand and help them face a fear.

      Like the child petrified of the thunder storm or the teen that can’t get back in a car again after failing their test, your job as a parent is to reassure, encourage, enable and motivate someone to face something that ideally they never would choose to again.

      We know many of our fears aren’t real. However, it is only when someone guides us with love, respect, lack of judgement and safety are we able to get through fear. And trust me, you can get through your fears. I’ve seen it so many times.

      Ask yourself:

      • If the worse were to happen, what would that be?
      • Could that really happen?
      • If the worse did happen, how would you recover?
      • If the worse were to happen, what would you need to do next?

      By seeing fear as not the end destination but part of being human, you can see through it’s wily evil ways and move forward.

      5. Know Whose Hand You Hold Either Physically or Emotionally

      This helps with fears for the rest of your life.

      Think of someone you can always rely on (and ideally you won’t just answer yourself because that adds a lot of pressure to your existence!) And you will find that you’ve already found a way to get through fear.

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      The beauty of this is that it means that fear becomes part of life not something to be feared and shied away from.

      It means you know you can turn to your friend, partner, colleague, parent, sibling and say “Right I need to deal with this, and I’m going to need you to help me.”

      For one moment, think about it from the other person’s view point. When we get to help other people we feel valued, loved, respected and lots of other positive emotions and we get a good dose of positive chemicals setting off in our bodies too.

      Your fear, and your determination to fight it, helped someone else too. Now that’s cool right?

      6. Understand That There Are Some Things Fear Will Never Touch

      I like to find role models in life — people who have faced heroism, history changing moments, war, atrocities, miracles, life saving inventions.

      Not everyone was looking for greatness, however they all found it. And one of my favourite books to date is written about Alistair Urquhart, the forgotten highlander. If this doesn’t get turned into a film in the future, then no man’s story is likely to.

      Alistair went through the most horrific experiences in the 2nd world war. If you think of one of the awful things that happened back then in our world, Alistair went through at least 3 of them! Asked afterwards how did you cope? He talked about how whatever they did to his body, no matter how they starved, tortured, threatened or mocked him, they couldn’t have his mind. In his mind he was free.

      Of all the people’s voices I’ve heard in my head over the years, this is one of those statements that reminds me anything is possible if you have faith and hope.

      Look for the things in life that fear can’t touch. They will create confidence and faith for the future, whatever you face. And they will give you a sense of why being you is awesome.

      Of all the billions of people on this planet, no one will have an answer identical to yours!

      7. Process Your Fears to Carry on with Life

      Being brave is not about sticking your chest out and smiling regardless of what hell you endure. It is about finding a way to emotionally process your fears to be able to keep going.

      I have a tool kit of things I can rely on – tools, strategies, techniques. They include people to hug or talk to, music. hobbies, walks on the beach and even my favourite food. It sounds mad but at the times where I have questioned “how will I get through this?” I’ve found immense joy in doing the most unlikely of thing that makes me smile.

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      It may be a short lived moment of happiness. However, it reminded that nothing stays the same and I can find away.

      One client told me that it was crazy when it felt like their world was falling around their ears to run a bath to the brim (you don’t waste water) get the best bath oils, light too many candles, lock the door and drink a glass of bubbly (champagne is only for special occasions.)

      Did that moment fix the disaster that my clients life felt? No, however it gave them a moment of calm and the brain is far quicker to find solutions, resolve and motivation to keep going when you do that.

      It may feel like madness to do something you love, however it can be a powerful way to help you find solutions to the fears you face in life.

      8. Assume the Worse

      If you read the statement from the client above. Notice how they assumed it was wrong to fill the bath up to the top? How bubbly is only for special occasions?

      Think how naughty they felt to be doing something that was not allowed?

      • Think about what age it may have made them feel?
      • Think about how they feel about champagne?
      • What special moments it’s been a part of in their lives?

      And you can see how the assumptions they made about their “right” to have these things was not healthy.

      When I drag the assumptions out of people’s words for them to see, they are often struck by how negative the words make them feel.

      Don’t assume your words aren’t impacting on you. You can go through fear and actually enjoy the ride when you take the time to understand how you are letting words get to you.

      9. Take a Fear That Feels Insurmountable Right Now.

      If you were to repeat it to me out loud, what would you say?

      Would you have blame on yourself in there? Would you assume others can do it and it’s just you? Would you feel small, unsuccessful, useless, unworthy?

      Usually, when you do this exercise, you are able to spot the untruths that run wild in your head convincing you that you are doomed. And rarely when we are faced with our assumptions is there is a lot of evidence to them.

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      10. You Are Not Defined by Your Fear

      One fear does not define your life – be mindful of that. It is likely to lead you to thinking of all the times you’ve succeeded and bring a moment of calm, confidence and faith back to you.

      11. Go with Fear

      When you learn to go with fear, you could find yourself actually having fun, no seriously – having fun.

      I have a few amazing clients I’m working with right now who would describe themselves as life long worriers, or pessimists. In the past that has served them well, enabling them to keep safe, steer clear of risks and even develop strategies in the event of disasters. However, now they find it’s becoming hard to break the cycle and they really want to because it’s holding them back.

      Notice how they’ve found their hidden fears and want to face them?

      One client said “I knew this was going to be tough, and I knew I couldn’t fight it alone and I knew you would be the one to help me.” Before I sat an incredibly successful, confident, capable business owner with a family and a social life to die for.

      However, I’ve learned that the most successful looking lives can hide things that impact on life, success, love, happiness and business.

      We didn’t start with the fear that they felt was holding them back, we broke the fear down, and found lots of little obstacles that had been deemed as “life” and “unchangeable” and “that’s just the way it is” by developing awareness to the little steps on the road to their obstacles to happiness and success they were able to tackle them in a different way.

      12. Discover Great Skills in Your Scary Moments

      And in that clients words “I came here to work with you to grow my company, and my own personal skills. I didn’t expect to get the children to be cleaning up after themselves and my partner being more attentive! It all feels a little magic.”

      The moral is that out of the scariest of moments, we can find great skills we didn’t know we had. Find better, healthier, happier ways to live and find ways to enjoy life more. (And have a bit of magic!)

      What a great place to be in ready for the next fear that thinks it’s going to get in the way of you, right?

      13. Own Your Fear

      Think back over these tips and come up with at least one example for each one. Write them down. Put them on your phone. Turn them into a piece of art. Turn them into a poem. Frame them. Go for a fast walk across the fields, beach, down town and repeat these things in your head to the sound of your feet on the ground.

      We rarely take the time to appreciate how far we have come, how much we can achieve or what we are capable of – by really owning the tips in this article you will have given your brain a big fat dose of “Damn right I can do this!” and the motivation and accountability to say “Let’s find a way” through any fear.

      You can’t help but feel good when you see that can you? And fear doesn’t stand a chance, does it?

      More Resources About Fighting Fear

      Featured photo credit: Ben White via unsplash.com

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