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If You Are Affected Emotionally By The World Around You, Read This

If You Are Affected Emotionally By The World Around You, Read This

Negative emotions left untreated result in fear, anger, frustration, loneliness, depression, and helplessness. Even the best of us wear down emotionally. Negativity surrounds us, and over time you become like a sponge and soak up all the negative energy around you.

No matter what goes on around you, you’re still in control. You can’t control all the situations around you, but you can choose how you respond to each of them.

Here are a handful of situations where negative emotions appear.

1. The terrible boss

I get it. Your boss sucks. He’s unappreciative, a douche, unfair, and not as smart as you. Quitting seems the logical choice. Yet, not everyone has that option.

When it comes to handling your boss, you need to develop a shield that would make Captain America proud. Don’t take the easy way out and blame your boss for everything. Don’t be juvenile and bad mouth him or her to all your coworkers. Take the high road and don’t slack off. Your personal brand is on the line.

Use your horrible boss as motivation to create a better opportunity in the future for yourself. If you must quit, research your options before doing so.

2. Annoying coworkers

Unless you are lucky enough to work from home or have minimal contact with people, you’re likely to have dealt with a shoddy coworker. Coworkers can ruin the best of situations.

From lame water cooler jokes, to the pick up artist, to the overbearing health guru (no one cares about your juice cleanse), coworkers are stressful.

Imagine that your negative coworkers have the plague. It’s infectious and deadly, so stay away from these people at all costs. Avoid them in the break room, go outside and appreciate nature, or read a book.

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3. Work is draining

Do you work to live or live to work?

Society is obsessed with productivity and time is the easiest metric to measure it by. You end up having to do more and more each day to feel like a success.

Lower your stress and don’t get caught up in the rat race. How long you work isn’t important. It’s about the quality of the work that you perform in the time you have.

4. Clients are a nuisance

Being your own boss is awesome and rewarding. Chasing payments from people … not so much.

Instead of seeing a bad client, view it instead as a terrible situation. Bad clients are people who you continue to work with despite their substandard behaviors.

If you’re losing sleep, eating extra ice cream, or dreading the meeting, it’s time to end the relationship. It takes two to tango, so part of the blame is on you for not taking action. No amount of money is worth your sanity.

5. News is a waste

Eight out of ten stories in the news are negative. Letting the news (an outside source) invade your personal space is easier than you think. Whether you turn on the television or read articles on the Internet, the news is filled with negativity. Negativity sells.

When was the last time someone donating to charity or community building was the main story compared to the latest scandal?

Do yourself a favor and turn the TV off and close your browser. If it’s important, you’ll hear about it through your friends since everyone will be mentioning it.

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6. Society loves to judge

People are quick to share their opinions on how you should live your life. Have you had dreams of living abroad, running your own start-up, or going back to school? At some point, you’ve heard someone say, “You’re too old,” or “You need to quit dreaming and be realistic.”

If you let people’s opinion influence your decisions, you’ll forever be a prisoner and full of regret. We’re all meant to be different. Don’t be a sheep and follow blindly. Have some belief in yourself. There is more right with you than wrong with you despite what ‘everyone’ might say.

emotinally affected by the world
    No mater what society tells you…You can do whatever you please

    7. Friends can bring you down

    Friends, at times, are a heavy burden and negative influence on you. Friends can emotionally weigh you down with their problems and negative outlook on life. You want to be there for them, but their attitude over time will start to affect your life.

    Learn to recognize friends who make you feel blue. Separate yourself from their problems. You don’t have to join in on the negativity and absorb their problems to be a good friend.

    8. Let go of the comparison game

    We all compare ourselves to others. When comparing ourselves, we only see what the other has that we want, not what they’re missing.

    These people are human just as you are. They have no super powers. They’re imperfect people trying to figure out this thing called life, just as you are.

    Let go of the comparison and realize you’re awesome enough already.

    9. Body image issues are unnecessary

    With magazines, marketers, and shady fitness companies, it’s easy to get down on yourself. Relying on these for your measuring stick is a recipe for disaster.

    Though you may feel terrible or tell yourself you look out of shape, thoughts are just thoughts. The mind can be tricky at times.

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    Don’t let deceptive advertising or unrealistic images determine your self-worth. Love yourself for who you are and you’ll soon be on your way to not only a better place mentally, but you’ll exude a confidence that will change your career and social life for the better.

    10. The past doesn’t control you

    Regret can haunt us for years. “What if … ,” “I wish … ,” and “I should’ve … ,” are expressed when reminiscing about the past.

    Before you are able to move ahead, you must accept the past for what it is. Embrace who you are, treat the past as a lesson that will serve in the future to make you a better person.

    11. The present is all that you can control

    Your current situation isn’t what you expected. Perhaps you aren’t where you thought you’d be at this moment.

    Walking around and feeling like a failure isn’t going to bring success any closer. Telling yourself you’re worthless and this dream life is a pipe dream isn’t going to make you any more motivated.

    Live in the moment, appreciate it, don’t take it for granted, and don’t allow self-loathing to enter the picture. This moment is all there is.

    You can’t change your past, but you are in charge of your present. So take control of it and steer your future in the direction you want it to go.

    12. Social media is not as it seems

    Social media is one giant fantasy land.

    Take a look at your Instagram feed or Facebook timeline. Most likely what you’ll encounter are pictures of people smiling and having the time of their lives. Looking at this might make you question why your life isn’t exciting.

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    Here’s the truth.

    Their life isn’t that exciting. Social media is a platform where people can pretend to be something else by picking and choosing what to share.

    Don’t fall for this trap. Realize people use social media as a highlight reel for the best moments in their life.

    13. Just say no to drama

    It’s never a dull moment with the drama crew. They’ll make the smallest issues into something large.

    Do yourself a favor and cut them out of your life. The only people that deserve to be in your circle are people who are positive and make you want to be a better person.

    14. The people closest to us can be the toughest

    Sometimes those closest to us are the hardest people to deal with. You want to become healthier and join a gym, while your significant other is content being lazy.

    Don’t argue with them, that’s a waste of time. Try to empathize with them and see their viewpoint, then you can use the middle ground as a starting point.

    15. Family can be overbearing

    Families can be annoying, especially if you’re doing something outside the norm. As difficult as it might be, you need to stick to your guns and follow through with your goals. They have their life and you have yours.

    More by this author

    Julian Hayes II

    Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

    18 Basic Rules To Lead A Fulfilling Life Starting Today, Stop These 6 Things to Become the Best Version of Yourself 5 Fun Ways to Transform Your Body And Health When You Don’t Feel Like Going to the Gym 4 Common Reasons Why You Fall Short With Your Weight Loss Goals (And What You Should Do Instead) 7 (Surprising) Actions to Take For Guaranteed Fat Loss

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    1 How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up 2 How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late 3 7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer 4 If You Think You’re in an Unhappy Marriage, Remember These 5 Things 5 7 Practical Ways to Change Your Thinking and Change Your Life

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    Last Updated on March 14, 2019

    7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

    7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

    Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

    For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

    Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

    1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

    A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

    It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

    It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

    How it helps you:

    If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

    Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

    2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

    Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

    Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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    How it helps you:

    Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

    Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

    If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

    Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

    3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

    Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

    Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

    How it helps you:

    This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

    For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

    Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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    A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

    4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

    To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

    A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

    How it helps you:

    One word: hierarchy.

    All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

    In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

    If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

    5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

    Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

    Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

    How it helps you:

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    Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

    If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

    This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

    6. What do you like about working here?

    This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

    Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

    How it helps you:

    You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

    Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

    Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

    7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

    What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

    As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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    How it helps you:

    What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

    First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

    Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

    Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

    Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

    Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

    Making Your Interview Work for You

    Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

    Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

    More Resources About Job Interviews

    Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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