Advertising
Advertising

If You Are Affected Emotionally By The World Around You, Read This

If You Are Affected Emotionally By The World Around You, Read This

Negative emotions left untreated result in fear, anger, frustration, loneliness, depression, and helplessness. Even the best of us wear down emotionally. Negativity surrounds us, and over time you become like a sponge and soak up all the negative energy around you.

No matter what goes on around you, you’re still in control. You can’t control all the situations around you, but you can choose how you respond to each of them.

Here are a handful of situations where negative emotions appear.

1. The terrible boss

I get it. Your boss sucks. He’s unappreciative, a douche, unfair, and not as smart as you. Quitting seems the logical choice. Yet, not everyone has that option.

When it comes to handling your boss, you need to develop a shield that would make Captain America proud. Don’t take the easy way out and blame your boss for everything. Don’t be juvenile and bad mouth him or her to all your coworkers. Take the high road and don’t slack off. Your personal brand is on the line.

Use your horrible boss as motivation to create a better opportunity in the future for yourself. If you must quit, research your options before doing so.

2. Annoying coworkers

Unless you are lucky enough to work from home or have minimal contact with people, you’re likely to have dealt with a shoddy coworker. Coworkers can ruin the best of situations.

From lame water cooler jokes, to the pick up artist, to the overbearing health guru (no one cares about your juice cleanse), coworkers are stressful.

Imagine that your negative coworkers have the plague. It’s infectious and deadly, so stay away from these people at all costs. Avoid them in the break room, go outside and appreciate nature, or read a book.

Advertising

3. Work is draining

Do you work to live or live to work?

Society is obsessed with productivity and time is the easiest metric to measure it by. You end up having to do more and more each day to feel like a success.

Lower your stress and don’t get caught up in the rat race. How long you work isn’t important. It’s about the quality of the work that you perform in the time you have.

4. Clients are a nuisance

Being your own boss is awesome and rewarding. Chasing payments from people … not so much.

Instead of seeing a bad client, view it instead as a terrible situation. Bad clients are people who you continue to work with despite their substandard behaviors.

If you’re losing sleep, eating extra ice cream, or dreading the meeting, it’s time to end the relationship. It takes two to tango, so part of the blame is on you for not taking action. No amount of money is worth your sanity.

5. News is a waste

Eight out of ten stories in the news are negative. Letting the news (an outside source) invade your personal space is easier than you think. Whether you turn on the television or read articles on the Internet, the news is filled with negativity. Negativity sells.

When was the last time someone donating to charity or community building was the main story compared to the latest scandal?

Do yourself a favor and turn the TV off and close your browser. If it’s important, you’ll hear about it through your friends since everyone will be mentioning it.

Advertising

6. Society loves to judge

People are quick to share their opinions on how you should live your life. Have you had dreams of living abroad, running your own start-up, or going back to school? At some point, you’ve heard someone say, “You’re too old,” or “You need to quit dreaming and be realistic.”

If you let people’s opinion influence your decisions, you’ll forever be a prisoner and full of regret. We’re all meant to be different. Don’t be a sheep and follow blindly. Have some belief in yourself. There is more right with you than wrong with you despite what ‘everyone’ might say.

emotinally affected by the world
    No mater what society tells you…You can do whatever you please

    7. Friends can bring you down

    Friends, at times, are a heavy burden and negative influence on you. Friends can emotionally weigh you down with their problems and negative outlook on life. You want to be there for them, but their attitude over time will start to affect your life.

    Learn to recognize friends who make you feel blue. Separate yourself from their problems. You don’t have to join in on the negativity and absorb their problems to be a good friend.

    8. Let go of the comparison game

    We all compare ourselves to others. When comparing ourselves, we only see what the other has that we want, not what they’re missing.

    These people are human just as you are. They have no super powers. They’re imperfect people trying to figure out this thing called life, just as you are.

    Let go of the comparison and realize you’re awesome enough already.

    9. Body image issues are unnecessary

    With magazines, marketers, and shady fitness companies, it’s easy to get down on yourself. Relying on these for your measuring stick is a recipe for disaster.

    Though you may feel terrible or tell yourself you look out of shape, thoughts are just thoughts. The mind can be tricky at times.

    Advertising

    Don’t let deceptive advertising or unrealistic images determine your self-worth. Love yourself for who you are and you’ll soon be on your way to not only a better place mentally, but you’ll exude a confidence that will change your career and social life for the better.

    10. The past doesn’t control you

    Regret can haunt us for years. “What if … ,” “I wish … ,” and “I should’ve … ,” are expressed when reminiscing about the past.

    Before you are able to move ahead, you must accept the past for what it is. Embrace who you are, treat the past as a lesson that will serve in the future to make you a better person.

    11. The present is all that you can control

    Your current situation isn’t what you expected. Perhaps you aren’t where you thought you’d be at this moment.

    Walking around and feeling like a failure isn’t going to bring success any closer. Telling yourself you’re worthless and this dream life is a pipe dream isn’t going to make you any more motivated.

    Live in the moment, appreciate it, don’t take it for granted, and don’t allow self-loathing to enter the picture. This moment is all there is.

    You can’t change your past, but you are in charge of your present. So take control of it and steer your future in the direction you want it to go.

    12. Social media is not as it seems

    Social media is one giant fantasy land.

    Take a look at your Instagram feed or Facebook timeline. Most likely what you’ll encounter are pictures of people smiling and having the time of their lives. Looking at this might make you question why your life isn’t exciting.

    Advertising

    Here’s the truth.

    Their life isn’t that exciting. Social media is a platform where people can pretend to be something else by picking and choosing what to share.

    Don’t fall for this trap. Realize people use social media as a highlight reel for the best moments in their life.

    13. Just say no to drama

    It’s never a dull moment with the drama crew. They’ll make the smallest issues into something large.

    Do yourself a favor and cut them out of your life. The only people that deserve to be in your circle are people who are positive and make you want to be a better person.

    14. The people closest to us can be the toughest

    Sometimes those closest to us are the hardest people to deal with. You want to become healthier and join a gym, while your significant other is content being lazy.

    Don’t argue with them, that’s a waste of time. Try to empathize with them and see their viewpoint, then you can use the middle ground as a starting point.

    15. Family can be overbearing

    Families can be annoying, especially if you’re doing something outside the norm. As difficult as it might be, you need to stick to your guns and follow through with your goals. They have their life and you have yours.

    More by this author

    Julian Hayes II

    Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

    18 Basic Rules for Leading a Fulfilling Life Starting Today, Stop These 6 Things to Become the Best Version of Yourself 5 Fun Ways to Transform Your Body And Health When You Don’t Feel Like Going to the Gym 4 Common Reasons Why You Fall Short With Your Weight Loss Goals (And What You Should Do Instead) 7 (Surprising) Actions to Take For Guaranteed Fat Loss

    Trending in Communication

    1 7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language 2 How to Apologize When You Have Made a Mistake 3 7 Science-Backed Books About Spirituality That Will Change Your Life 4 20 Things Life Is Too Short to Worry About 5 How to Find Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on January 15, 2021

    7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

    7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

    The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

    Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

    Posture

    First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

    • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
    • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
    • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
    • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

    All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

    Facial Expressions

    Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

    • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
    • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
    • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

    If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

    Advertising

    1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

    A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

    The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

    This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

    2. Relax Your Face

    New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

    The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

    To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

    Advertising

    3. Improve Your Eye Contact

    Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

    The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

    To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

    3. Smile More

    There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

    Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

    4. Hand Gestures

    Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

    Advertising

    It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

    5. Enhance Your Handshake

    In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

    “Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

    It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

    6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

    As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

    Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

    Advertising

    Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

    Final Takeaways

    Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

    If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

    More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

    Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

    Reference

    Read Next