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If You Are Affected Emotionally By The World Around You, Read This

If You Are Affected Emotionally By The World Around You, Read This

Negative emotions left untreated result in fear, anger, frustration, loneliness, depression, and helplessness. Even the best of us wear down emotionally. Negativity surrounds us, and over time you become like a sponge and soak up all the negative energy around you.

No matter what goes on around you, you’re still in control. You can’t control all the situations around you, but you can choose how you respond to each of them.

Here are a handful of situations where negative emotions appear.

1. The terrible boss

I get it. Your boss sucks. He’s unappreciative, a douche, unfair, and not as smart as you. Quitting seems the logical choice. Yet, not everyone has that option.

When it comes to handling your boss, you need to develop a shield that would make Captain America proud. Don’t take the easy way out and blame your boss for everything. Don’t be juvenile and bad mouth him or her to all your coworkers. Take the high road and don’t slack off. Your personal brand is on the line.

Use your horrible boss as motivation to create a better opportunity in the future for yourself. If you must quit, research your options before doing so.

2. Annoying coworkers

Unless you are lucky enough to work from home or have minimal contact with people, you’re likely to have dealt with a shoddy coworker. Coworkers can ruin the best of situations.

From lame water cooler jokes, to the pick up artist, to the overbearing health guru (no one cares about your juice cleanse), coworkers are stressful.

Imagine that your negative coworkers have the plague. It’s infectious and deadly, so stay away from these people at all costs. Avoid them in the break room, go outside and appreciate nature, or read a book.

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3. Work is draining

Do you work to live or live to work?

Society is obsessed with productivity and time is the easiest metric to measure it by. You end up having to do more and more each day to feel like a success.

Lower your stress and don’t get caught up in the rat race. How long you work isn’t important. It’s about the quality of the work that you perform in the time you have.

4. Clients are a nuisance

Being your own boss is awesome and rewarding. Chasing payments from people … not so much.

Instead of seeing a bad client, view it instead as a terrible situation. Bad clients are people who you continue to work with despite their substandard behaviors.

If you’re losing sleep, eating extra ice cream, or dreading the meeting, it’s time to end the relationship. It takes two to tango, so part of the blame is on you for not taking action. No amount of money is worth your sanity.

5. News is a waste

Eight out of ten stories in the news are negative. Letting the news (an outside source) invade your personal space is easier than you think. Whether you turn on the television or read articles on the Internet, the news is filled with negativity. Negativity sells.

When was the last time someone donating to charity or community building was the main story compared to the latest scandal?

Do yourself a favor and turn the TV off and close your browser. If it’s important, you’ll hear about it through your friends since everyone will be mentioning it.

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6. Society loves to judge

People are quick to share their opinions on how you should live your life. Have you had dreams of living abroad, running your own start-up, or going back to school? At some point, you’ve heard someone say, “You’re too old,” or “You need to quit dreaming and be realistic.”

If you let people’s opinion influence your decisions, you’ll forever be a prisoner and full of regret. We’re all meant to be different. Don’t be a sheep and follow blindly. Have some belief in yourself. There is more right with you than wrong with you despite what ‘everyone’ might say.

emotinally affected by the world
    No mater what society tells you…You can do whatever you please

    7. Friends can bring you down

    Friends, at times, are a heavy burden and negative influence on you. Friends can emotionally weigh you down with their problems and negative outlook on life. You want to be there for them, but their attitude over time will start to affect your life.

    Learn to recognize friends who make you feel blue. Separate yourself from their problems. You don’t have to join in on the negativity and absorb their problems to be a good friend.

    8. Let go of the comparison game

    We all compare ourselves to others. When comparing ourselves, we only see what the other has that we want, not what they’re missing.

    These people are human just as you are. They have no super powers. They’re imperfect people trying to figure out this thing called life, just as you are.

    Let go of the comparison and realize you’re awesome enough already.

    9. Body image issues are unnecessary

    With magazines, marketers, and shady fitness companies, it’s easy to get down on yourself. Relying on these for your measuring stick is a recipe for disaster.

    Though you may feel terrible or tell yourself you look out of shape, thoughts are just thoughts. The mind can be tricky at times.

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    Don’t let deceptive advertising or unrealistic images determine your self-worth. Love yourself for who you are and you’ll soon be on your way to not only a better place mentally, but you’ll exude a confidence that will change your career and social life for the better.

    10. The past doesn’t control you

    Regret can haunt us for years. “What if … ,” “I wish … ,” and “I should’ve … ,” are expressed when reminiscing about the past.

    Before you are able to move ahead, you must accept the past for what it is. Embrace who you are, treat the past as a lesson that will serve in the future to make you a better person.

    11. The present is all that you can control

    Your current situation isn’t what you expected. Perhaps you aren’t where you thought you’d be at this moment.

    Walking around and feeling like a failure isn’t going to bring success any closer. Telling yourself you’re worthless and this dream life is a pipe dream isn’t going to make you any more motivated.

    Live in the moment, appreciate it, don’t take it for granted, and don’t allow self-loathing to enter the picture. This moment is all there is.

    You can’t change your past, but you are in charge of your present. So take control of it and steer your future in the direction you want it to go.

    12. Social media is not as it seems

    Social media is one giant fantasy land.

    Take a look at your Instagram feed or Facebook timeline. Most likely what you’ll encounter are pictures of people smiling and having the time of their lives. Looking at this might make you question why your life isn’t exciting.

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    Here’s the truth.

    Their life isn’t that exciting. Social media is a platform where people can pretend to be something else by picking and choosing what to share.

    Don’t fall for this trap. Realize people use social media as a highlight reel for the best moments in their life.

    13. Just say no to drama

    It’s never a dull moment with the drama crew. They’ll make the smallest issues into something large.

    Do yourself a favor and cut them out of your life. The only people that deserve to be in your circle are people who are positive and make you want to be a better person.

    14. The people closest to us can be the toughest

    Sometimes those closest to us are the hardest people to deal with. You want to become healthier and join a gym, while your significant other is content being lazy.

    Don’t argue with them, that’s a waste of time. Try to empathize with them and see their viewpoint, then you can use the middle ground as a starting point.

    15. Family can be overbearing

    Families can be annoying, especially if you’re doing something outside the norm. As difficult as it might be, you need to stick to your guns and follow through with your goals. They have their life and you have yours.

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    Julian Hayes II

    Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

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    Last Updated on June 21, 2019

    How to Deal with Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

    How to Deal with Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

    We all lose our temper from time to time. It’s a natural part of our emotions. And expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone.

    That being said, too much anger is counterproductive. Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and at work. Inappropriate in this context can be too much anger, too often, or a times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

    Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

    Expressing Anger: Unhealthy vs Healthy Ways

    Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your spouse or significant other, kids, bosses, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information, we just have to be willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

    3 Common Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

    Here’re some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

    Being Passive-Aggressive

    This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

    Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

    This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. Not very productive but extremely common.

    Poorly Timed

    This is something I’ve been guilty of. I tend to be pretty open and out there with my emotions. As such, I’ve been known to express my anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

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    An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

    Ongoing Anger

    Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

    As a matter of fact, over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time and it’s a no-win situation.

    3 Healthy Ways to Express Anger

    What about the healthy ways to adapt? Some healthy ways to express anger in our relationships include:

    Being Honest

    Expressing your anger or disagreement in an honest fashion. By this, I mean be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond. But that’s okay because you want to be honest.

    Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

    Being Direct

    Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

    Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else. And don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

    Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

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    Being Timely

    When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, that’s only going to do more harm than good.

    Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

    Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

    How To Deal With Anger

    So if you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

    1. Slowdown

    Maybe this has happened to you as well. From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

    In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response. And that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

    When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner.

    2. Keep It to the “I’s”

    As in it’s you that is upset. You are upset because of something. Don’t accuse people of making you upset. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “You always want to upset me because you don’t put away your dishes”. Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me – can you work with me to come to a solution?”.

    When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

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    3. Workout

    I have definitely used this technique when I have been upset. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

    Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

    Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

    4. Seek Help When Needed

    There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from an expert if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.

    If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable, and healthy level.

    How To Control Your Emotions

    Having out of control emotions other than anger can lead to similar challenges in our lives. If you find yourself with emotional overflow here’s some ideas to help get your emotions under control.

    Practice Relaxation

    We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation. That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax like being around people we enjoy. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and exercise.

    Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and balance their emotions. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax.

    Laugh

    Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep emotions in check and things in a healthy perspective.

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    Remember, life isn’t a race. It’s a journey meant to be enjoyed fully along the way. Make sure you take time out to laugh and have fun.

    Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing and brings a smile to your face.

    Be Grateful

    I was just having this conversation with one of my daughters who was stressed about school. We talked about the importance of being grateful for the many things in our lives that we seem to take for granted.

    It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

    Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for.

    Final Thoughts

    Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

    During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring us smiles and joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life — the things that we seem to forget easily yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

    Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions. You’ll be glad you did.

    More Resources About Anger Management

    Featured photo credit: Patrick Fore via unsplash.com

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