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If You Are Affected Emotionally By The World Around You, Read This

If You Are Affected Emotionally By The World Around You, Read This

Negative emotions left untreated result in fear, anger, frustration, loneliness, depression, and helplessness. Even the best of us wear down emotionally. Negativity surrounds us, and over time you become like a sponge and soak up all the negative energy around you.

No matter what goes on around you, you’re still in control. You can’t control all the situations around you, but you can choose how you respond to each of them.

Here are a handful of situations where negative emotions appear.

1. The terrible boss

I get it. Your boss sucks. He’s unappreciative, a douche, unfair, and not as smart as you. Quitting seems the logical choice. Yet, not everyone has that option.

When it comes to handling your boss, you need to develop a shield that would make Captain America proud. Don’t take the easy way out and blame your boss for everything. Don’t be juvenile and bad mouth him or her to all your coworkers. Take the high road and don’t slack off. Your personal brand is on the line.

Use your horrible boss as motivation to create a better opportunity in the future for yourself. If you must quit, research your options before doing so.

2. Annoying coworkers

Unless you are lucky enough to work from home or have minimal contact with people, you’re likely to have dealt with a shoddy coworker. Coworkers can ruin the best of situations.

From lame water cooler jokes, to the pick up artist, to the overbearing health guru (no one cares about your juice cleanse), coworkers are stressful.

Imagine that your negative coworkers have the plague. It’s infectious and deadly, so stay away from these people at all costs. Avoid them in the break room, go outside and appreciate nature, or read a book.

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3. Work is draining

Do you work to live or live to work?

Society is obsessed with productivity and time is the easiest metric to measure it by. You end up having to do more and more each day to feel like a success.

Lower your stress and don’t get caught up in the rat race. How long you work isn’t important. It’s about the quality of the work that you perform in the time you have.

4. Clients are a nuisance

Being your own boss is awesome and rewarding. Chasing payments from people … not so much.

Instead of seeing a bad client, view it instead as a terrible situation. Bad clients are people who you continue to work with despite their substandard behaviors.

If you’re losing sleep, eating extra ice cream, or dreading the meeting, it’s time to end the relationship. It takes two to tango, so part of the blame is on you for not taking action. No amount of money is worth your sanity.

5. News is a waste

Eight out of ten stories in the news are negative. Letting the news (an outside source) invade your personal space is easier than you think. Whether you turn on the television or read articles on the Internet, the news is filled with negativity. Negativity sells.

When was the last time someone donating to charity or community building was the main story compared to the latest scandal?

Do yourself a favor and turn the TV off and close your browser. If it’s important, you’ll hear about it through your friends since everyone will be mentioning it.

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6. Society loves to judge

People are quick to share their opinions on how you should live your life. Have you had dreams of living abroad, running your own start-up, or going back to school? At some point, you’ve heard someone say, “You’re too old,” or “You need to quit dreaming and be realistic.”

If you let people’s opinion influence your decisions, you’ll forever be a prisoner and full of regret. We’re all meant to be different. Don’t be a sheep and follow blindly. Have some belief in yourself. There is more right with you than wrong with you despite what ‘everyone’ might say.

emotinally affected by the world
    No mater what society tells you…You can do whatever you please

    7. Friends can bring you down

    Friends, at times, are a heavy burden and negative influence on you. Friends can emotionally weigh you down with their problems and negative outlook on life. You want to be there for them, but their attitude over time will start to affect your life.

    Learn to recognize friends who make you feel blue. Separate yourself from their problems. You don’t have to join in on the negativity and absorb their problems to be a good friend.

    8. Let go of the comparison game

    We all compare ourselves to others. When comparing ourselves, we only see what the other has that we want, not what they’re missing.

    These people are human just as you are. They have no super powers. They’re imperfect people trying to figure out this thing called life, just as you are.

    Let go of the comparison and realize you’re awesome enough already.

    9. Body image issues are unnecessary

    With magazines, marketers, and shady fitness companies, it’s easy to get down on yourself. Relying on these for your measuring stick is a recipe for disaster.

    Though you may feel terrible or tell yourself you look out of shape, thoughts are just thoughts. The mind can be tricky at times.

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    Don’t let deceptive advertising or unrealistic images determine your self-worth. Love yourself for who you are and you’ll soon be on your way to not only a better place mentally, but you’ll exude a confidence that will change your career and social life for the better.

    10. The past doesn’t control you

    Regret can haunt us for years. “What if … ,” “I wish … ,” and “I should’ve … ,” are expressed when reminiscing about the past.

    Before you are able to move ahead, you must accept the past for what it is. Embrace who you are, treat the past as a lesson that will serve in the future to make you a better person.

    11. The present is all that you can control

    Your current situation isn’t what you expected. Perhaps you aren’t where you thought you’d be at this moment.

    Walking around and feeling like a failure isn’t going to bring success any closer. Telling yourself you’re worthless and this dream life is a pipe dream isn’t going to make you any more motivated.

    Live in the moment, appreciate it, don’t take it for granted, and don’t allow self-loathing to enter the picture. This moment is all there is.

    You can’t change your past, but you are in charge of your present. So take control of it and steer your future in the direction you want it to go.

    12. Social media is not as it seems

    Social media is one giant fantasy land.

    Take a look at your Instagram feed or Facebook timeline. Most likely what you’ll encounter are pictures of people smiling and having the time of their lives. Looking at this might make you question why your life isn’t exciting.

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    Here’s the truth.

    Their life isn’t that exciting. Social media is a platform where people can pretend to be something else by picking and choosing what to share.

    Don’t fall for this trap. Realize people use social media as a highlight reel for the best moments in their life.

    13. Just say no to drama

    It’s never a dull moment with the drama crew. They’ll make the smallest issues into something large.

    Do yourself a favor and cut them out of your life. The only people that deserve to be in your circle are people who are positive and make you want to be a better person.

    14. The people closest to us can be the toughest

    Sometimes those closest to us are the hardest people to deal with. You want to become healthier and join a gym, while your significant other is content being lazy.

    Don’t argue with them, that’s a waste of time. Try to empathize with them and see their viewpoint, then you can use the middle ground as a starting point.

    15. Family can be overbearing

    Families can be annoying, especially if you’re doing something outside the norm. As difficult as it might be, you need to stick to your guns and follow through with your goals. They have their life and you have yours.

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    Julian Hayes II

    Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

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    Last Updated on May 21, 2019

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

    If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

    Example 1

    You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

    You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

    In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

    Example 2

    You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

    People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

    You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

    Example 3

    You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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    The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

    Example 4

    You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

    Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

    If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

    Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

    • Understand your own communication style
    • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
    • Communicate with precision and care
    • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

    1. Understand Your Communication Style

    To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

    In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

    Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

    2. Learn Others Communication Styles

    Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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    If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

    “How do you prefer to receive information?”

    This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

    To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

    3. Exercise Precision and Care

    A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

    On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

    Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

    I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

    I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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    In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

    The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

    Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

    4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

    Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

    In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

    “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

    Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

    Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

    It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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    It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

    It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

    Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

    Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

    The Bottom Line

    When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

    I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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    Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

    Reference

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