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5 Simple Tips to Meditate Like a Monk

5 Simple Tips to Meditate Like a Monk

Day after day, you sit on the cushion, but every time you commit to sit your thoughts pull you away. Or maybe it’s not your mind, but it’s your body: your legs fall asleep, your back starts to hurt, and pretty soon all you can think about is the tightness in your spine. Day after day this is your cycle.

You’ve heard the benefits of meditation, but you only leave the cushion more stressed out. The issue isn’t your dedication: I’d like to lay out a few tips that will help rekindle your love of meditation and maybe help you go deeper than you’ve ever gone.

1. Create a space

Sometimes we carry all of our problems, issues, and worries onto the cushion with us. Instead of starting with an open mind, we start with a mind that’s already in a fury. We’re worried we don’t have time to meditate, or it’s going to make us late for work. What we need to do is inject some space, and we can do this simply by dedicating a certain area of our room to meditation. Maybe it’s a corner that we decorate with a rug or some shrine, or a picture of our loved ones. Whatever it is, just make sure it invokes a sense of peace within you.

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Before you set foot in that space, make sure to go in with a clear head and positive intentions. Do your best to leave your problems off the cushion, or out of your corner. It might seem silly, but ask your mind if it could mellow out for a moment. Offer a reward for your mind once you’re out of meditation—just make sure to follow through.

2. Get rid of expectations

So many of us have the expectation that the moment we engage in meditation we’re going to be calm, serene, and forget about our daily stresses. When our experience doesn’t measure up to the image in our minds, then we get discouraged. Instead of letting whatever comes up arise and pass, we let ourselves get caught up. The secret is going into your practice with no expectation of an outcome. Think of this practice as allowing you to go beyond your thoughts.

Think of your thoughts as a raging waterfall; now imagine that you’re in the cave behind the waterfall, letting your thoughts flow by. There’s no need to get caught up in the stream.

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3. Don’t force or judge

This goes hand-in-hand with setting expectations for our practice. We often demand too much of ourselves, not letting ourselves ease into our new practice. We make ourselves sit for an hour every day, or at least hold the expectation we should be doing this. The key here is to demand less.

Don’t force yourself to sit if it hurts your body, and don’t force yourself to sit longer than you can endure. Instead, think of your practice as something that builds slowly over time. Start small—try five minutes a day. The benefits are more tangible and actually increase faster when you use continual steady effort, similar to compound interest.

Over time, you’ll find it easier to sit for longer and longer periods. Start small and you’ll have huge gains in the long run.

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4. Use an anchor

We expect that once we sit down and resume a posture that our thoughts will stop, as we’re seeking a state that is complete emptiness. Instead of beating yourself up every time you get taken away by the current of thought, just remind yourself to come back. This should be a gentle nudge; laugh at yourself if you have to.

The key here is to have an anchor, such as your breath. When you get washed away and start engaging in thought, just try and remind yourself to come back to your breath. What you’re doing is building awareness: The more often you realize you’re caught up in thought, the less often you’ll actually get wrapped up.

When in doubt, start to follow your breath.

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5. Use technology to drop you into a deeper state

If you’ve tried everything above and nothing seems to be working, you might need a little assistance. There’s a certain kind of audio track called “binaural beats”: what they do is play sounds at a certain frequency that your mind can align with. This is usually coupled with other relaxing sounds, such as waves crashing or birds chirping. This combination of sounds gives your mind something to focus on, while at the same time your mind syncs up with the lower frequency tones, bringing your meditation to a deeper state.

If you want to boost your meditation practice and drop into deeper states than you’ve ever been, give the above tips a try, make some space for one or two of them in your routine. Remember that the lasting benefits of meditation really kick in once you’ve established a set routine.

Happy meditating.

More by this author

Kevin Wood

Kevin Wood is a passionate writer who shares mental and spiritual advice on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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