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5 Principles of Attaining Success

5 Principles of Attaining Success

“In order to succeed, your desire to succeed must be greater than your fear of failure.” ~ Bill Cosby

Almost everyone I know wants to succeed. And genuinely so. Their efforts are sincere and their intentions, noble. They even try hard. Why is it that some people succeed at most things they undertake while many others fail at anything they try? It is not uncommon to see that some people get really lucky. They end up at the right place at the right time and success just happens to them, or so it seems.

When you are serious about success, it is serious about you too. When you keep chiseling away at your goal, you learn to identify opportunities and make use of them. Today, I bring to you five principles of success. When we follow these principles, our chances of being at the right place at the right time go up significantly. These five golden principles will help you stay motivated right till the end.

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1. Positivity

“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Being positive is a habit. It’s a matter of choice. It doesn’t mean that one let goes of actions and wait for things to happen. Positivity is about chasing your dreams with a heart for any fate. It is reminding yourself that your world has not come to an end and that there’s plenty more you can do. Positivity makes you proactive and sharpens your intellect. Being positive is not about false reassurance or vain affirmations, it is about action.

2. Patience

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Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

    This is the most common roadblock on the journey to success. Patience is knowing that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Your habits were not formed overnight, you did not gain weight in a matter of days, similarly, you cannot break old habits or change yourself in jiffy. Think of an artist, a sculptor or a builder. They keep working on their project, one stroke, one brick at a time. If you are serious about gaining body mass or losing weight, improving your skills at tennis or boosting your memory, you must not forego patience. When you stay course, taking one step at a time, you will finish a journey of thousand miles before long.

    3. Persistence

    “It’s not that I’m smarter, I just stay with problems longer.” ~ Albert Einstein

    When you are persistent, results certainly show through. And with positive results, it becomes easier to be motivated. Patience thrives in the persistent mind. Imagine a tennis match between two champions. The one who can patiently and consistently play one good shot after the other, staying persistent, will eventually win over the other opponent. One common trait among the most successful across the globe has been their persistence. When you are persistent, new ideas spring up automatically.

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    4. Discipline

    He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others.  - Leonardo Da Vinci

      We are often motivated by the results, by the joy of reaching at the destination. The primary difference between an elusive dream and a real goal is that the latter has discipline and action. Discipline is sticking to your mental and physical routine, it’s going by the plan, it’s about following your course of action. The best way to follow any discipline is to ignore your heart. For example, you committed yourself to hit the gym four times a week. Today, you are feeling lazy and don’t want to go to the gym. All you’ve got to do is not listen to your mind. Just get to the gym. Once there, you will find it easy to do your workout.

      5. Visualization

      “Thoughts become things.” ~ Buddha

      This one is less shared by the successful people. When you are patient, persistent, positive and disciplined, your thoughts become really powerful. That is the view shared by many yogic texts as well. Your will-power and calmness in the mind gets a massive boost. You can then carry out your visualizations with much greater success. Visualization can have amazing, if not miraculous, effect in keeping you motivated and helping you realize your goals. With a wavering mind and weak resolve, law of attraction will remain a mythical concept. (A while ago I wrote on how to make law of attraction work for you. It requires a certain type of mindset. For better understanding, you can read up here.)

      Go on! Take life by the horns and dictate your own terms. Succeeding is a habit too. It’s the one worth cultivating.

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      Last Updated on July 10, 2020

      How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

      How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

      We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

      We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

      So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

      Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

      What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

      Boundaries are limits

      —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

      Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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      Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

      Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

      Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

      How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

      Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

      1. Self-Awareness Comes First

      Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

      You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

      To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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      You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

      • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
      • When do you feel disrespected?
      • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
      • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
      • When do you want to be alone?
      • How much space do you need?

      You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

      2. Clear Communication Is Essential

      Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

      Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

      3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

      Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

      That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

      Sample language:

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      • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
      • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
      • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
      • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
      • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
      • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
      • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

      Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

      4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

      Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

      Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

      Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

      We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

      It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

      It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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      Final Thoughts

      Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

      Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

      Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

      The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

      Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

      Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

      They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

      Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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