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15 Ways to Boost a Child’s Self-Esteem

15 Ways to Boost a Child’s Self-Esteem

Healthy self-esteem is something that most parents strive to instill in their children. Having “healthy self-esteem” means being able to acknowledge both the positive and the negative aspects of one’s self without feeling either superior or inferior. This trait has been linked to better outcomes in relationships, career, and general well-being. So how can parents help their children achieve healthy self-esteem? Here are 15 free and simple ways.

1. Make eye contact and smile when your child walks into the room.

Show your child that his or her presence is meaningful and enjoyable to you.

2. Praise her specific efforts and attempts instead of giving her constant general praise.

Tell her that you are proud that she ran every morning that seasons instead of only focusing on the fact that she got first place in the race or telling her she did a “great job.”

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3. Listen to your child.

Consider your child’s thoughts and perspectives to be valuable, even and especially when you disagree.

4. Give her some undivided attention each day.

Your child is valuable to you, and time with her should be prioritized and enjoyed.

5. Give your child age-appropriate jobs/responsibilities.

Your kid is a necessary part of the family.

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6. Empathize with you child when he or she is angry or sad.

Have empathy even and especially when she doesn’t get her way.

7. Always let your child know that it makes perfect sense that she feels the way she feels.

In other words, validate her feelings instead of trying to tell her she shouldn’t feel that way.

8. When discipline is necessary, lead and conclude with the lesson behind the discipline, not anger and punishment.

Explain to your child why telling the truth is very, very important, and that the consequences he or she experienced are not to punish him or her but to help him or her to remember not to lie.

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9. Don’t solve your child’s problems for him or her.

Get in the habit of asking your child what his or her suggestions are for dealing with disappointments  and problem-solving. Offer your ideas as a consultant, not a rescuer. Your kid does not immediately need a rescuer; It has good thoughts of its own.

10. Let your child fail and let it get back up.

When your child loses her earbuds, he or she can handle earning money for new ones instead of having you replace them. Your child can handle going to summer school to make up the grade instead of you calling the teacher to make an arrangement to bring the grades up.

11. After your child disappoints, acts out, or makes a mistake, discipline and each, and then let it go.

Offer criticism, redirection, and consequences with a matter-of-fact tone. Discipline is for teaching, not for demonstrating disdain, dispelling frustration, and holding grudges.

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12. Meet your child where it’s at without making him or her feel like an idiot.

If your kid struggles with staying on task while cleaning his or her room, calmly make a chart. If your child struggles with simple division, but the rest of the class is on long-division, patiently break out the flash-cards.

13.Hear your child out and give him or her the benefit of the doubt.

If your child is caught smoking at school, instead of treating him or her like a disrespectful sociopath, allow him or her to remind you of what it was like to just want to fit in and be accepted (before providing discipline.)

14.  Share stories about when you were younger and you made mistakes.

Your child is not a terrible person for taking a quarter out of Mom’s purse; It just needs to be taught the lesson, the same way Mom was taught when she was young.

15. Say “I’m sorry,” when you make mistakes or lose your cool.

“Imperfection” is okay for parents and it’s okay for your child, too.

Featured photo credit: greyerbaby via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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