Advertising
Advertising

15 Things No One Will Tell You About Fatherhood

15 Things No One Will Tell You About Fatherhood

Becoming a father has been one of the greatest accomplishments in my life. And l know most fathers can relate to that. The moment you hear these words, “honey, I’m pregnant!,” to the sound of your baby entering the world (insert newborn crying here), your life changes completely.

You begin to learn about fatherhood and what it really is like, which is a great thing to do.

Although you will receive great parenting advice from other parents especially fathers, there are some things you most likely will not hear until you experience them as a dad.

Here 15 things you should be prepared to experience as a father.

Advertising

1. If you thought you knew how to care for a baby, think again.

Even though you will have an idea about how to take care of your baby, it is just the beginning. Taking care of your newborn will not be easy. You will have to learn as you go and seek help when needed. Once your newborn arrives, you will not have to master the art of changing diapers so you can do it with care and without causing a mess, especially when its really poopy.

2. Sleep will become a luxury for you.

You will have to stay up for those nights when your newborn is crying and you can not figure out what the issue with him/her is. And the best thing is you probably have to go to work in the morning.

3. Time management will have to become a skill

That is, if you want to be active in your baby’s life. Planning everything like you used to do will be hard, real hard. It will take a lot of getting used to having things not go as planned. You will need to learn when to say yes and no invitations, personal activities, etc.

4.  After meeting your baby for the first time your world will never be the same.

Your life will never be the same. Everything changes! For the better, don’t worry.

Advertising

5. Sex after pregnancy will be a topic of discussion with your significant other.

Be prepared to go without getting any for at LEAST 6 weeks. I think that’s the recommended time after post-patum. Your significant other might not have this on their mind at all. Read this article.

6. Sacrifices will need to be made.

You will have to make sacrifices, the loud sex, partying, etc. Your significant other’s breast will also be off limit for a while.

7. You will become a little more emotional.

I never knew how emotional l was until l saw our newborn. I melted like chocolate, and instantly realized there is that soft spot in me that my baby touches in a different way. You will also experience it.

8. You will feel accomplished.

And this accomplishment is not like winning the lottery. Its more about your self esteem, knowing you and your significant other have added a new addition to this world.

Advertising

9. You will see things in a new way, dad vision is different than man vision.

What used to be okay, will now have a different interpretation. When your newborn cries, its going to be different from all other baby cries.

10. You will not have complete conversations anymore.

Your baby will interrupt when you are having conversations with your significant other. Sometimes, this happens when you are “busy” in the bedroom. (of course that’s after the 6 weeks)

11. You will become a teacher. And your actions will speak louder than your words.

Your kids will do what you do, not what you tell them to do. Everything you do will be watched, and done in the exact same manner by your baby as he/she grows.

12. It is hard.

Yes, very hard, but its worth the journey and the experience.

Advertising

13. You have to be ready to entertain your kids when they are bored.

Having a lot of different bedtime stories, and entertaining ideas will be part of your toolbox for a while.

14. No more being selfish.

You will not only have to think about yourself anymore, but also think about the mother of your child, and your new bundle of joy.

15. You will need help one way or another.

It is okay to accept that you can not do it all. It’s impossible to do it all, and having your significant other help you will be a HUGE bonus.

Featured photo credit: PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

More by this author

the girl you date 14 Differences Between the Girl you Date and the Woman you Marry 6 Encouraging Things You Can Say To A Breastfeeding Mom 40 Motivational Quotes that Will Super-Boost Your Motivation when you become a mother 19 Things Every New Mother Should Know Will Happen to Them How Does A Homeless Man Spend $100? Watch This!

Trending in Family

1 15 Best Father’s Day Gifts Your Father Won’t Buy On His Own 2 6 Ways to Care For Your Aging Parents From a Distance 3 What to Do If You Grew up in a Dysfunctional Family 4 How to Strengthen Family Bonds When You’re Staying at Home 5 How To Set Family Goals To Build A Happy Family (With Examples)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

Advertising

Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

Advertising

You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

Advertising

  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

Advertising

Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

Read Next