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15 Things No One Will Tell You About Fatherhood

15 Things No One Will Tell You About Fatherhood

Becoming a father has been one of the greatest accomplishments in my life. And l know most fathers can relate to that. The moment you hear these words, “honey, I’m pregnant!,” to the sound of your baby entering the world (insert newborn crying here), your life changes completely.

You begin to learn about fatherhood and what it really is like, which is a great thing to do.

Although you will receive great parenting advice from other parents especially fathers, there are some things you most likely will not hear until you experience them as a dad.

Here 15 things you should be prepared to experience as a father.

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1. If you thought you knew how to care for a baby, think again.

Even though you will have an idea about how to take care of your baby, it is just the beginning. Taking care of your newborn will not be easy. You will have to learn as you go and seek help when needed. Once your newborn arrives, you will not have to master the art of changing diapers so you can do it with care and without causing a mess, especially when its really poopy.

2. Sleep will become a luxury for you.

You will have to stay up for those nights when your newborn is crying and you can not figure out what the issue with him/her is. And the best thing is you probably have to go to work in the morning.

3. Time management will have to become a skill

That is, if you want to be active in your baby’s life. Planning everything like you used to do will be hard, real hard. It will take a lot of getting used to having things not go as planned. You will need to learn when to say yes and no invitations, personal activities, etc.

4.  After meeting your baby for the first time your world will never be the same.

Your life will never be the same. Everything changes! For the better, don’t worry.

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5. Sex after pregnancy will be a topic of discussion with your significant other.

Be prepared to go without getting any for at LEAST 6 weeks. I think that’s the recommended time after post-patum. Your significant other might not have this on their mind at all. Read this article.

6. Sacrifices will need to be made.

You will have to make sacrifices, the loud sex, partying, etc. Your significant other’s breast will also be off limit for a while.

7. You will become a little more emotional.

I never knew how emotional l was until l saw our newborn. I melted like chocolate, and instantly realized there is that soft spot in me that my baby touches in a different way. You will also experience it.

8. You will feel accomplished.

And this accomplishment is not like winning the lottery. Its more about your self esteem, knowing you and your significant other have added a new addition to this world.

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9. You will see things in a new way, dad vision is different than man vision.

What used to be okay, will now have a different interpretation. When your newborn cries, its going to be different from all other baby cries.

10. You will not have complete conversations anymore.

Your baby will interrupt when you are having conversations with your significant other. Sometimes, this happens when you are “busy” in the bedroom. (of course that’s after the 6 weeks)

11. You will become a teacher. And your actions will speak louder than your words.

Your kids will do what you do, not what you tell them to do. Everything you do will be watched, and done in the exact same manner by your baby as he/she grows.

12. It is hard.

Yes, very hard, but its worth the journey and the experience.

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13. You have to be ready to entertain your kids when they are bored.

Having a lot of different bedtime stories, and entertaining ideas will be part of your toolbox for a while.

14. No more being selfish.

You will not only have to think about yourself anymore, but also think about the mother of your child, and your new bundle of joy.

15. You will need help one way or another.

It is okay to accept that you can not do it all. It’s impossible to do it all, and having your significant other help you will be a HUGE bonus.

Featured photo credit: PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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