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Last Updated on November 14, 2017

10 Ways to Cheer Yourself Up When You’re in a Bad Mood

10 Ways to Cheer Yourself Up When You’re in a Bad Mood

Cheering yourself up. It’s not about avoidance. It’s about recognition. It’s about self-love. It’s your day. It’s your moment. It’s your life. It’s worth it.

If you’re feeling in a funk, here are 10 Ways to Cheer Yourself Up.

1. Feel it.

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a neuroanatomist – a brain scientist who studies the anatomy of the brain. She had a stroke. She watched her brain functions shift and alter. She watched how her brain processed, or didn’t process, stimulation. She found out that if she let herself feel an emotion, it would pass in about 90 seconds. So don’t avoid what you’re feeling in the hopes it will just go away. It won’t. It will if you let yourself feel it though.

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2. Observe things.

As a witness to what you sense rather than as what you sense, you’ll tap into that part of you that exists above and beyond your funk. You’ll go beyond reaction and into the ability to respond.

3. Master your mind. …or, just give it a little test-run.

The verbal part of our mind processes about 40 bits of information per second. The non-verbal part of our brain processes about 11 million bits of information per second. So when the verbal part of your mind is telling you “Everything sucks,” it’s not basing that conclusion on very much information. Simply noticing that your thoughts are not serving you and knowing that your thoughts are not based on the whole truth can help you find freedom from them.

4. Rock your body.

One way to move past the thoughts is to move your awareness somewhere else. Get your groove on. Dance, ninja, dance. Need inspiration? Try ‘Fire’ or ‘Top of the World’ by Raghav, or ‘Walls’ by Sultan & Ned Shepard.

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5. Clear the slate.

You can meditate in lots of different ways. Walking, breathing, mindfulness, sitting. Any way that works for you is good. Let yourself be with anything other than your thoughts: inhaling peace and exhaling the funk.

6. Gather your hall of champions.

Martha Beck trained coaches – like me – talk about the ‘Hall of Champions’ – the people in your life who lift you up and help you carry on forward. If you don’t have this list already, write it down. Then pull them up whenever you need them and imagine exactly what they would say if you were having a heart to heart with them about it all.

7. Ask for help.

The imaginary conversation is not working? Reach out. Ask for help. Great people, successful people, people who seem fuelled by a bottomless well of confidence all reach out and ask for help if they need it. Who can you call and ask “Can you just tell me I’m awesome?”

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8. How do you want to feel?

So you’re not feeling great right now. How do you want to feel? Uplifted. Strong. Healthy. Happy. Confident. What do you do that makes you feel that way? Do that now.

9. The quickie.

Can’t get up and go do that thing? Images can have an instant, powerful effect on our subconscious. What images help boost you up? Many of my clients say nature-based images – of trees or mountains or the sky – do it for them. Find the, print or save them, and have them where you can easily access them. This entire practice works with one of our innate talents: state-dependent memory. Basically, we can remember something when we enter into the state we were in when we created the memory. So to remember and re-live something that makes you feel better, create the trigger by choosing an image, and then use it again and again.

10. Say thank you.

Gratitude can be an instant uplifter. Make a list of 10 things you’re thankful for. Did you know that the part of the brain in charge of gratitude is different than the part of the brain in charge of worry? And that one can’t really be activated when the other is? Basically, by activating gratitude we de-activate worry.

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Good luck!

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10 Ways to Cheer Yourself Up When You’re in a Bad Mood 8 Ways to Appear Confident Even When You Don’t Feel It

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Are you one of those people who are always suffering setbacks? Does little ever seem to go right for you? Do you sometimes feel that the universe is out to get you? Do you wonder:

Why do I have bad luck?

Let me let you into a secret:

Your luck is no worse—and no better—than anyone else’s. It just feels that way. Better still, there are two simple things you can do which will reverse your feelings of being unlucky.

1. Stop believing that what happens in your life is down to the vagaries of luck, destiny, supernatural forces, malevolent other people, or anything else outside your self.

Psychologists call this “external locus of control.” It’s a kind of fatalism, where people believe that they can do little or nothing personally to change their lives.

Because of this, they either merely hope for the best, focus on trying to change their luck by various kinds of superstition, or submit passively to whatever comes—while complaining that it doesn’t match their hopes.

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Most successful people take the opposite view. They have “internal locus of control.” They believe that what happens in their life is nearly all down to them; and that even when chance events occur, what is important is not the event itself, but how you respond to it.

This makes them pro-active, engaged, ready to try new things, and keen to find the means to change whatever in their lives they don’t like.

They aren’t fatalistic and they don’t blame bad luck for what isn’t right in their world. They look for a way to make things better.

Are they luckier than the others? Of course not.

Luck is random—that’s what chance means—so they are just as likely to suffer setbacks as anyone else.

What’s different is their response. When things go wrong, they quickly look for ways to put them right. They don’t whine, pity themselves, or complain about “bad luck.” They try to learn from what happened to avoid or correct it next time and get on with living their life as best they can.

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No one is habitually luckier or unluckier than anyone else. It may seem so, over the short term (Random events often come in groups, just as random numbers often lie close together for several instances—which is why gamblers tend to see patterns where none exist).

When you take a longer perspective, random chance is just . . . random. Yet those who feel that they are less lucky, typically pay far more attention to short-term instances of bad luck, convincing themselves of the correctness of their belief.

Your locus of control isn’t genetic. You learned it somehow. If it isn’t working for you, change it.

2. Remember that whatever you pay attention to grows in your mind.

If you focus on what’s going wrong in your life—especially if you see it as “bad luck” you can do nothing about—it will seem blacker and more malevolent.

In a short time, you’ll become so convinced that everything is against you that you’ll notice more and more instances where this appears to be true. As a result, you will almost certainly stop trying, convinced that nothing you can do will improve your prospects.

Fatalism feeds on itself until people become passive “victims” of life’s blows. The “losers” in life are those who are convinced they will fail before they start anything; sure that their “bad luck” will ruin any prospects of success.

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They rarely notice that the true reasons for their failure are ignorance, laziness, lack of skill, lack of forethought, or just plain foolishness—all of which they could do something to correct, if only they would stop blaming other people or “bad luck” for their personal deficiencies.

Your attention is under your control. Send it where you want it to go. Starve the negative thoughts until they die.

To improve your fortune, first decide that what happens is nearly always down to you; then try focusing on what works and what turns out well, not the bad stuff.

Your “fate” really does depend on the choices that you make. When random events happen, as they always will, do you choose to try to turn them to your advantage or just complain about them?

Thomas Jefferson is said to have used these words:

“I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

“Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.”

Your luck, in the end, is pretty much what you choose it to be.

Featured photo credit: LoboStudio Hamburg via unsplash.com

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