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Last Updated on January 4, 2022

I Hate My Life: 10 Things You Can Do Now to Stop Hating Life

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I Hate My Life: 10 Things You Can Do Now to Stop Hating Life

“I hate my life.” Have you ever said these words? Hating life is a bit of a misnomer it seems: in the media, in education, in every aspect of our lives, we’re shown visions of a perfect world, one where everyone is happy and life is a decades-long dream. Unfortunately, it isn’t.

Life can and is hard and tough and painful at times. I have first-hand experience of this: Years ago, I was a recent university graduate, unemployed and aimless. All of this was having a knock-on effect on my social and mental wellbeing—I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t seeing my friends as often. I was snappy to family members and I could barely drag myself out of bed in the morning…

That doesn’t mean it can’t change.

Life goes through ebbs and flows all the time and the key to getting through it all without cutting off your social circle and eating your local grocery store out of Ben & Jerry’s is to cultivate some techniques and methods of going through life with some stability and grace. It’s not a guarantee against life’s hardships but, take the steps you want to use and you won’t hate life in the long term.

If you want to stop hating your life and start falling in love with it, take these steps:

1. Get Plenty of Sleep

Seriously, you’re obviously going to be grouchy and more inclined towards the more miserable side, if you’re not getting your recommended seven or more hours of sleep a night.

A day without a nap is like a cupcake without frosting. — Terri Guillemets

Start checking the amounts of times you sleep during the day and then start making steps to go to bed earlier and sleep for longer. It might cure every problem but at least you’ll be well-rested and less likely to nap throughout the day. If you’re having trouble getting to sleep, try these 10 Best Natural Sleep Aids to Help You Feel Rested

2. Eat Healthily

I have had a real issue with eating healthily for years and it wasn’t until I was hospitalized a few years ago (for a condition unrelated to my eating for the sake of disclosure), that I really started to look at what I ate and how I viewed my body.

I’m absolutely an advocate of body positivity and loving your body at any size and while I haven’t lost any huge amount of weight, eating a hell of a lot healthier improved my mental health and made me feel better.

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Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health.” – Julia Child

In short, it’s absolutely okay for everyone including young people to have a pizza and a soda as a treat, but just have something healthier tomorrow.

Here’re some inspirations for you: How to Find a Healthy Eating Plan That Actually Works for You

3. Write It All Down

Sometimes the best thing you can do is let it all out. Keeping things that are making you hate life all bottled up is neither helpful to get out of that cycle nor healthy for your overall wellbeing.

Grab yourself a notebook, a journal, a diary, a bit of paper, whatever, and just spend time writing down how you feel. As soon as you’ve done that, start small by thinking about what you could do in theory to stop this from happening or to stop you from feeling like this.

4. Get Some Fresh Air

It’s underrated and we all take it for granted, but really, getting out of your home and going for a walk can be really beneficial. It gets you outside in the (hopefully) sunshine and getting to see the whole of life as you walk around can be really grounding and calming.

An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day. -Henry David Thoreau

Believe me, if you’re stuck inside mulling over on the bad things of your life, grab a pair of sneakers and go for a walk. Taking a walk in nature can be a suicide prevention measure. Plus, it’s free. Can’t say better than that, can you?

5. Get Some Exercise

This is practically a Part II of the previous step, but as someone who used to look at the gym as something people did when they were feeling particularly masochistic, I can actually say I enjoy it now.

You don’t even have to subscribe to a fancy gym—go for a run around the block with your headphones in or lift some heavy boxes to build up muscle tone.

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Bonus: Doing all that heavy lifting of boxes or incorporating exercise into chores will make your house cleaner and look even more awesome, as well helping you avoid anxiety depression.

6. Treat Yourself

Hating your life can be exhausting, and I mean that literally. It drains the energy from you until all you want to do is lie in bed with a pint of ice cream and the last five seasons of a TV show on Netflix.

Therefore, a good thing to keep your spirits up can be to treat yourself full time over the weekend.

It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary. – Mandy Hale

Life is too short, after all, to deny yourself some treats. Go see that movie that looks awesome in the cinema, grab a gelato with a friend, paint your nails, whatever makes you happy, do it. You deserve it.

Here’re more ideas to inspire you if you are feeling hopeless: 30 Ways To Treat Yourself No Matter What

7. Cut out Those Negative Triggers

Chances are that if you hate life, something is setting off those triggers in your head. Until you’re able to deal with them without turning all misanthropic, the best thing might be just to get rid of all of those negative triggers.

If you’re suffering from what AllGroanUp refers to as “Obsessive Comparison Disorder” day to day (i.e. obsessively checking out the lifestyles of all your “successful” friends), then stop using Facebook and Twitter as much.

Social media can be a fantastic way to connect, but it can also be a toxic environment for neuroses and comparisons to breed. And it can make you suffer from depression.

Trust me, I know. If it sets you off, cut it out.

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Here’s How to Quit Social Media for a Happier and More Focused Life.

8. Dance

Yes, you can dance. No, really, you can. It doesn’t matter if you’re not some breakdancing dynamo or ballroom extraordinaire, everyone can dance. It’s programmed into the human race, the ultimate expression of emotion.

Dance like no one’s watching, dance like you don’t care. Tap your feet, sway your hips, go as mad or as wild as you want to your favorite songs. Nothing quite shakes the cobwebs off than losing yourself in rhythm and dance to a song you love.

9. Get Organized

A great way to start moving forward and looking at what you can change in your life to make it better is to get organized.

Spend a weekend going through your home and clearing the unnecessary stuff out of it. Get rid of the stuff you don’t need or don’t want anymore and start to give everything a space.

It doesn’t have to look like it’s stepped off the pages of Good Housekeeping, but clearing a lot of space with friends or family members and making sure that your home has a bit of harmony can do wonders for your mental wellbeing.

10. Pay It Forward

Life is a mystery and it can be a minefield to get through. Sometimes you stumble, sometimes you fall. The important part is to pick yourself back up and keep walking forward.

Paying it forward is simply helping others. Charity is something that is often thrown around as an accessory to human behavior—how many celebrities have you read about who have done something heinous, but are defended by the phrase “but [they] do charity work”?

Go, volunteer! If you think you’re at breaking point, go help friends or family.

People in the world out there will be going through the same things that you are going through; and while you might not run into someone who’s going through the exact same circumstances, you will be helping people who need help.

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Helping out a soup kitchen, or at a church bake sale, or at a homeless shelter, or wherever needs help, can make a huge difference to the lives of those individuals involved. And believe me, it’ll do a hell of a lot for your state of mind.

A great idol of mine, Audrey Hepburn, once stated that we have two hands: one for helping ourselves, and one for helping others. That’s a fantastic sentiment and one I think will help people who hate their live.

If you go and help other people, you’re having such a positive ripple effect on the world that some of it will come back to you one way or another, and it will get better.

Final Thoughts

You can easily think that you are the only one fighting thoughts of self-hatred. The fact is millions of people across the world feel the way you do.

As you have seen, there are lots of simple and practical ways to get past these thoughts and feelings. If you are suffering from a mental disorder, you need to seek help from a mental health professional. And follow your treatment plan to the end.

You can also make your journey easier by finding an accountability partner or someone who’ll check in with you every day to ensure that you are on the right track.

You’ll be surprised at the number of people who are willing to help you achieve this goal. You don’t have to hate yourself. You are a unique and beautiful person capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.

More Positive Vibes to Motivate You

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

More by this author

Chris Haigh

Writer, baker, co-host of "Good Evening Podcast" and "North By Nerdwest".

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Last Updated on January 14, 2022

Where Am I Going? How to Put Your Life in Context

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Where Am I Going? How to Put Your Life in Context

Are you wondering…

Where am I going in life? Where am I supposed to be going in life?

And to answer your questions, here’s what the great writer and thinker, Christopher Morley famously wrote:

There are three ingredients to the good life – learning, earning and yearning.

Where Am I Going? Is It the Right Direction in Life?

There are many times in life where one does not know what comes next or where to go in life. The realization that you are lost and don’t know where to go, or that you don’t like where you are going often comes as an epiphany.

Most people describe this as being in a rut. It’s like you have everything you want and still so much is missing. You could have everything in the world but something about your life still doesn’t feel right.

Signs That You Need to Change Direction in Life

It is important to identify when you are unhappy with your life and want to change where you are going. Some of the most common signs of needing a change in life are as follows:

  1. You feel unhappy with your life and often reminiscence about the choices you made.
  2. You feel as if you are forced to go against your morals and intuition at work or home.
  3. The situation that you find yourself in currently is causing you a lot of stress.
  4. There is a fear or dread of the future and the consequences of your life decisions that have been causing you anxiety.
  5. You feel like you had to give up on your passions and interests just to make it in this world.
  6. The future that you are currently envisioning seems nothing like what practically lies ahead.
  7. You find yourself surrounded by unhappy people who often think you’re too idealistic.
  8. You often look forward to having a ‘good day’ even when nothing is particularly wrong with the days right now.

If you feel like most of these signs apply to you, then it’s time to re-evaluate where you are headed in life and how you want to change that.

The 3 Key Phases of Life

Before learning how to choose the right direction for yourself, first try to understand the 3 key phases of life:

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The Learning Phase

The Learning phase typically stretches from the age of five into the early twenties and its over-riding characteristic is freedom.

Your thinking is unfettered, you are chock-full of dreams and aspirations and (happily) someone else is footing the bills. It’s not a cliché to say that schooldays, for many of us, really were the happiest days of our lives.

Contrast it with adult life – no one expects very much of you, and other than passing a few exams along the way and you can just swing along, having a great old time …

The Earning Phase

The next phase is the Earning years; the period from leaving formal education (at 20-something) to retirement (at 50-something or 60-something). Welcome to the grown-up world, welcome to the tax net.

The overriding concern in this Earning phase is the security (I spell that word as follows: $ecurity because, for many people, this phase tends to be all about generating sufficient income to pay the monthly bills.)

Reality bites. This can require sublimating the dreams of youth as a life of routine takes over. Few in the Earning years question the choices they have made because, typically, this questioning process can be quite disconcerting – oddly, I find this is particularly true of people who are less than happy with their working lives.

Routine generation of wealth becomes paramount and you get swept along with the current. This is fine if you made sound choices in your late teens and early twenties with regard to your career. But if you didn’t … for routine, read ‘RUT’.

Which brings us to Morley’s Yearning phase – from ceasing your full-time occupation until … well, ceasing.

The Yearning Phase

What is yearning? Unfortunately, yearning is not the same as simple hankering, wanting or desire. The dictionary definition of yearning is:

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“A feeling of intense longing for something lost, absent or unattainable.”

A bit gloomy. So for many people, the Yearning years are about looking back over a life not quite fulfilled and saying ‘I wish, I wish. If only … if only …’

With the wisdom of years comes regret for the road not taken, the too-conservative choices made.

Studies conducted in the geriatric population and on terminally ill people consistently demonstrate that regrets in human beings arise as a result of decisions not taken. The wise old owls that I have talked to over the years all speak with one voice on this.

It is better to look back and think, ‘I wish I hadn’t …’ rather than wistfully saying, ‘I wish I had …’

Think about where you are…

As you think about your career, your life, and your plans for the future, you are, at the very least, going to have to contemplate some uncomfortable choices about yourself, your personal style and your level of happiness.

I make no apologies for this – that’s just life. But I contend that it is better to take the time and spend the effort now to improve the choices that you make for later, rather than to have those choices made for you at a time that may not suit you.

Some people get these choices unerringly right and they do so early in their lives. Others come to a realization of the right path much later in life. Ray Kroc changed his whole approach to his McDonald’s business in his early 50s. [1] Colonel Sanders didn’t start his KFC franchising efforts until he was in his early 60s.[2] And the list can go on.

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It’s never too early and it’s never too late – but you have to think about it.

How to Choose the Right Path

Do you know at what phase of life are you now? Once you understand where you are now, the next step is to find the direction you want to move to.

You have the motivation and direction to take your life where you need it to be, you just need to get up and do it. The best time for change is now, and if you procrastinate any further you might miss out on a great opportunity.

To live a meaningful life, it is important to pick a direction that brings both peace and success. Here are some things to take into consideration when choosing a new direction in life:

1. Chose What Your Inner Child Would Want

It is very important to acknowledge the needs and opinions of our ‘inner child’. That’s because we often have real happiness at this age and develop passions that last us a lifetime. To calibrate your direction in life, think of what the younger you would feel about your current situation and what would they want to do.

2. Think About The Things You Want To Change

Make a list of the things in your current life that you are dissatisfied with and want to change. Then think of the alternative options you have to give yourself a life where you find happiness and fulfillment by avoiding these things. This will help you understand what must be done to feel good in life.

3. Find Inspiration to Follow

Everyone has an idea of what they want in life and finding inspiration isn’t hard in this day and age. Just think about those you admire and see as role models and try to follow in their footsteps. As they have already reached a place you associate to be a goal, you will find it easier to navigate your way through life to reach that destination as well.

4. Be Clear on What You Don’t Want To Be

To find out where you want to be headed in life, try finding out where you don’t want to end up. This would help identify situations and placed you would try and avoid at all costs. It keeps you on the right track because if you minimize the wrong paths, then choosing the right one becomes much easier.

5. Learn to Enjoy Where You Are

There is no such thing as a perfect life. What you need to learn, is to work hard and to find things to be happy and grateful for.

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Live in the moment, appreciate the things you have. Only this way you will see clearly the meaning of your life.

6. Commit to Getting or Staying Healthy

Nothing is more important than your mental, spiritual and physical health.

Getting your life on the right path isn’t something you can achieve in a day. But, with hard work and dedication, you will get there!

7. Help Others

By helping others you will increase your sense of purpose and improve self-esteem.

There are many ways to do this. Volunteer in your community, mentor young people, or just help neighbors.

You will be surprised by the feeling you will have after.

Start Making the Change Today

After reading all this, you are surely ready to change the direction of your life. Start by making a change today instead of just thinking about it. Every difficult journey starts with a single step, and this is the sign to take yours. Once you make one change, the rest follow suit and soon your life will be exactly how you want it to be.

Need more help to get out of the rut? Take a look at these articles:

Featured photo credit: Johannes Plenio via unsplash.com

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Reference

[1] Britannica: Ray Kroc
[2] Biography: Colonel Sanders

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