“I hate my life.” Have you ever said these words? Hating life is a bit of a misnomer it seems: in the media, in education, in every aspect of our lives, we’re shown visions of a perfect world, one where everyone is happy and life is a decades-long dream. Unfortunately, it isn’t.
Life can and is hard and tough and painful at times. I have first-hand experience of this: Years ago, I was a recent university graduate, unemployed and aimless. All of this was having a knock-on effect on my social and mental wellbeing—I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t seeing my friends as often. I was snappy to family members and I could barely drag myself out of bed in the morning…
That doesn’t mean it can’t change.
Life goes through ebbs and flows all the time and the key to getting through it all without cutting off your social circle and eating your local grocery store out of Ben & Jerry’s is to cultivate some techniques and methods of going through life with some stability and grace. It’s not a guarantee against life’s hardships but, take the steps you want to use and you won’t hate life in the long term.
If you want to stop hating your life and start falling in love with it, take these steps:
1. Get Plenty of Sleep
Seriously, you’re obviously going to be grouchy and more inclined towards the more miserable side, if you’re not getting your recommended seven or more hours of sleep a night.
A day without a nap is like a cupcake without frosting. — Terri Guillemets
Start checking the amounts of times you sleep during the day and then start making steps to go to bed earlier and sleep for longer. It might cure every problem but at least you’ll be well-rested and less likely to nap throughout the day. If you’re having trouble getting to sleep, try these 10 Best Natural Sleep Aids to Help You Feel Rested
2. Eat Healthily
I have had a real issue with eating healthily for years and it wasn’t until I was hospitalized a few years ago (for a condition unrelated to my eating for the sake of disclosure), that I really started to look at what I ate and how I viewed my body.
I’m absolutely an advocate of body positivity and loving your body at any size and while I haven’t lost any huge amount of weight, eating a hell of a lot healthier improved my mental health and made me feel better.
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health.” – Julia Child
In short, it’s absolutely okay for everyone including young people to have a pizza and a soda as a treat, but just have something healthier tomorrow.
Here’re some inspirations for you: How to Find a Healthy Eating Plan That Actually Works for You
3. Write It All Down
Sometimes the best thing you can do is let it all out. Keeping things that are making you hate life all bottled up is neither helpful to get out of that cycle nor healthy for your overall wellbeing.
Grab yourself a notebook, a journal, a diary, a bit of paper, whatever, and just spend time writing down how you feel. As soon as you’ve done that, start small by thinking about what you could do in theory to stop this from happening or to stop you from feeling like this.
4. Get Some Fresh Air
It’s underrated and we all take it for granted, but really, getting out of your home and going for a walk can be really beneficial. It gets you outside in the (hopefully) sunshine and getting to see the whole of life as you walk around can be really grounding and calming.
An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day. -Henry David Thoreau
Believe me, if you’re stuck inside mulling over on the bad things of your life, grab a pair of sneakers and go for a walk. Taking a walk in nature can be a suicide prevention measure. Plus, it’s free. Can’t say better than that, can you?
5. Get Some Exercise
This is practically a Part II of the previous step, but as someone who used to look at the gym as something people did when they were feeling particularly masochistic, I can actually say I enjoy it now.
You don’t even have to subscribe to a fancy gym—go for a run around the block with your headphones in or lift some heavy boxes to build up muscle tone.
Bonus: Doing all that heavy lifting of boxes or incorporating exercise into chores will make your house cleaner and look even more awesome, as well helping you avoid anxiety depression.
6. Treat Yourself
Hating your life can be exhausting, and I mean that literally. It drains the energy from you until all you want to do is lie in bed with a pint of ice cream and the last five seasons of a TV show on Netflix.
Therefore, a good thing to keep your spirits up can be to treat yourself full time over the weekend.
It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary. – Mandy Hale
Life is too short, after all, to deny yourself some treats. Go see that movie that looks awesome in the cinema, grab a gelato with a friend, paint your nails, whatever makes you happy, do it. You deserve it.
Here’re more ideas to inspire you if you are feeling hopeless: 30 Ways To Treat Yourself No Matter What
7. Cut out Those Negative Triggers
Chances are that if you hate life, something is setting off those triggers in your head. Until you’re able to deal with them without turning all misanthropic, the best thing might be just to get rid of all of those negative triggers.
If you’re suffering from what AllGroanUp refers to as “Obsessive Comparison Disorder” day to day (i.e. obsessively checking out the lifestyles of all your “successful” friends), then stop using Facebook and Twitter as much.
Social media can be a fantastic way to connect, but it can also be a toxic environment for neuroses and comparisons to breed. And it can make you suffer from depression.
Trust me, I know. If it sets you off, cut it out.
Yes, you can dance. No, really, you can. It doesn’t matter if you’re not some breakdancing dynamo or ballroom extraordinaire, everyone can dance. It’s programmed into the human race, the ultimate expression of emotion.
Dance like no one’s watching, dance like you don’t care. Tap your feet, sway your hips, go as mad or as wild as you want to your favorite songs. Nothing quite shakes the cobwebs off than losing yourself in rhythm and dance to a song you love.
9. Get Organized
A great way to start moving forward and looking at what you can change in your life to make it better is to get organized.
Spend a weekend going through your home and clearing the unnecessary stuff out of it. Get rid of the stuff you don’t need or don’t want anymore and start to give everything a space.
It doesn’t have to look like it’s stepped off the pages of Good Housekeeping, but clearing a lot of space with friends or family members and making sure that your home has a bit of harmony can do wonders for your mental wellbeing.
10. Pay It Forward
Life is a mystery and it can be a minefield to get through. Sometimes you stumble, sometimes you fall. The important part is to pick yourself back up and keep walking forward.
Paying it forward is simply helping others. Charity is something that is often thrown around as an accessory to human behavior—how many celebrities have you read about who have done something heinous, but are defended by the phrase “but [they] do charity work”?
Go, volunteer! If you think you’re at breaking point, go help friends or family.
People in the world out there will be going through the same things that you are going through; and while you might not run into someone who’s going through the exact same circumstances, you will be helping people who need help.
Helping out a soup kitchen, or at a church bake sale, or at a homeless shelter, or wherever needs help, can make a huge difference to the lives of those individuals involved. And believe me, it’ll do a hell of a lot for your state of mind.
A great idol of mine, Audrey Hepburn, once stated that we have two hands: one for helping ourselves, and one for helping others. That’s a fantastic sentiment and one I think will help people who hate their live.
If you go and help other people, you’re having such a positive ripple effect on the world that some of it will come back to you one way or another, and it will get better.
You can easily think that you are the only one fighting thoughts of self-hatred. The fact is millions of people across the world feel the way you do.
As you have seen, there are lots of simple and practical ways to get past these thoughts and feelings. If you are suffering from a mental disorder, you need to seek help from a mental health professional. And follow your treatment plan to the end.
You can also make your journey easier by finding an accountability partner or someone who’ll check in with you every day to ensure that you are on the right track.
You’ll be surprised at the number of people who are willing to help you achieve this goal. You don’t have to hate yourself. You are a unique and beautiful person capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.
More Positive Vibes to Motivate You
- What Is Motivation And How To Get Motivated (Your Ultimate Guide)
- 12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life
- How to Get Motivated When Depressed and Frustrated
Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com