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How to Find a Healthy Eating Plan That Actually Works for You

How to Find a Healthy Eating Plan That Actually Works for You

So many of us want to lose a little bit of that extra weight and maybe fit into those pants from a couple of years ago. Every year, we make a resolution to eat healthier but somehow each time we end up losing our motivation.

This is not a question of our willpower or discipline though. The biggest reason we are not able to stick to our resolutions is because we make change too hard for ourselves.

I understand first-hand how hard this can be. I yo-yo dieted for years, each time seemingly gaining more weight than I had lost. I finally found success when I realized that I had to find a way of eating that personally worked for me, not just some diet program in the news or a cleanse that my friend was doing.

In this article, I’ll show you the 4-step process to design your own personalized healthy eating plan, one that actually works for you.

What is a healthy eating plan?

The first step in designing your personalized eating plan is to understand what “healthy” looks and feels like.

Eating healthy should help us feel stronger, happier and more vibrant. A healthy eating plan should help us feel good in our bodies and at peace in our relationship with food.

Feel good physically

When we eat in a way that is right for us, we feel more energetic and satisfied.

Eating healthy gives us the fuel to sustain our energy levels on a busy day. It makes us feel mentally alert with no mid-afternoon slumps making our mind feel foggy or clouded.

We feel satisfied with the food we eat and have no cravings. We also feel strong without any physical or mental lethargy. It gives us the energy to move in a way that we love, be it walking, dancing or lifting weights.

Feel good mentally

Healthy eating also means having a healthy relationship with food.

We feel happy when we eat instead of worrying about gaining weight or feeling guilty for eating “bad” foods.

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We stop trying to have the perfect diet days where we eat only “good” foods and try to control ourselves from eating sweets, chips or chocolates.

We have a healthy love-love relationship with food. We find eating to be an intuitive, easy and natural process – just a part of our day – not something to fight with ourselves over.

We feel relaxed and at peace around food, without any obsessive or intrusive cravings popping into our mind.

Feel healthy overall

People with a healthy relationship with food talk about eating healthy in a completely different way versus dieters. They say:

  • “I just don’t obsess about the number on the scale any more. I just try to eat well, live healthy and go by the fit of my clothes.”
  • “I try to focus more on giving myself what I need than on how much I weigh.”
  • “I’m not very intense about food anymore. I still eat candy and drink sodas sometimes. It’s not good for me but I enjoy eating it and I like it this way because it is stress free.”

Notice how this is not about just weight – more of what successful people address is how they feel free and relaxed around food. This, more than fitting into a certain size, makes them happy and healthy from the inside out.

What is NOT a healthy eating plan?

A plan that prioritizes physical well-being at any cost is not healthy. Many people do this by going on restrictive diets again and again until they develop a love-hate relationship with food.

This leads to:

Emotional or binge eating

When we severely restrict foods like many diets do, our minds start to crave the foods we cannot have (like chocolate, chips and cookies). Studies have shown how cravings are a result of dieting and how dieters crave foods they cannot eat (like chocolate) more than non-dieters.[1]

When our cravings get too strong, they take over our minds and we end up binging on sweets or chips. This hurts our confidence and makes us feel guilty. When this happens over and over again, we risk it becoming a habit that we feel like we have no control over.

P.S.: A lot of us today don’t diet but we try to eat healthy – in doing so, we are still engaging in the same restrictive behaviors and labelling food as “good” and “bad”. This is why we end up binging on the foods we cannot have and feel like we are sabotaging ourselves.

Judging our self-worth based on our body size or weight

Because we struggle so much with staying at our happy weight, we make weight loss our most important life project. We get so involved and think about it so much that it starts to take over our lives.

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We judge ourselves based on how much weight we lost, we punish ourselves if we don’t and our self-esteem revolves around the size of our clothes rather than our life’s achievements.

Thinking about food this way takes away our mental peace. We lose confidence in our own abilities and we get depressed – the complete opposite of the happiness we were aiming for in the first place.

A healthy eating plan focuses equally on how you look and how you feel – it doesn’t involve eating boring foods or cutting out the foods we love. It doesn’t promise magical weight loss results like “lose 40 lbs in 4 weeks”.

Eating healthy is a way of living life, and we need to love it to make it a part of our lives.

3 principles of a healthy eating plan

Bringing together all that we know about physical and mental health, there are 3 key principles to keep in mind as we build your healthy eating plan.

Principle #1 – Balance physical and mental health

The first principle is to prioritize mental happiness over physical happiness. We can think of our relationship with food as a spectrum between a hate-hate relationship and a love-love relationship.

At one end, we might be feeling anxious and guilty around food, questioning our eating choices all the time. We may binge eat once in a while and overeating to soothe ourselves may be common. If you are at this end of the spectrum, focus on developing a healthier emotional connection with food before embarking on your weight loss journey.[2]

    If you feel like you have an okay relationship with food but are letting your weight or clothes size determine your happiness, you may be more susceptible to developing binge or emotional eating. Before making health all about weight loss, realistically assess how important weight loss is in your overall happiness – if you had an amazing family, friends and career, should losing weight determine how you feel about yourself so much? If not, then why are you letting your weight lower your self-worth?

    If you have a positive relationship with food, then you are ready to move onto the next step.

    Principle #2 – Long term and sustainable

    The second principle is to design a plan that you can incorporate into your day to day life that is easy to do and doesn’t require too much willpower.

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    None of us want to keep dieting for the rest of our lives. We just want to find a way of eating and living that works for us. The only way to do this is to fit it into our already busy lives instead of trying to re-design our entire lives around food. This is why following a weight loss plan off the internet isn’t sustainable. Creating a customized plan for yourself is your best shot of finding a method that actually works for you.

    We’ve learned to expect that eating right has to be difficult and that without a lot of effort, we can never succeed. Weight loss companies and social media have made millions of dollars selling us these beliefs (the diet industry is worth $70 billion in the United States alone).

    In fact, the key to successfully eating healthy now and forever is to make it so simple that it fits right into our everyday lives.

    Principle #3 – Minimize deprivation

    The third and one of the most important principles is to minimize feelings of deprivation. This means eating everything we love like cookies, chocolates and chips without any restrictions and without feeling guilty. It means eating out at restaurants, going out with friends and having Friday night drinks.

    Food is so much more than physical fuel for the body. Food brings people together and using food in this way helps us feel happier. Food that we love (like grandma’s apple pie for instance) refreshes us emotionally and makes us happier. It’s only by embracing all the loving aspects of food can we be successful in having a healthy and happy life.

    Your personalized healthy eating plan

    Putting the 3 principles to use, let’s design a healthy eating plan that works for you.

    1. Rate your relationship with food with the following questions:

    • Do you think about food — what to eat, what not to eat and have cravings more times than not?
    • Do you feel guilty when you eat cake, chocolate or chips and do you try to punish yourself by trying to diet even more strictly the next day?
    • Do you feel out of control around food and regularly overeat past fullness?
    • Do you wake up wondering when you can lose that tummy and does your mood depend on how well your pants fit for the day?

    If you answered yes to 2 or more of these questions, then learn how to feel more relaxed and happy around food first before you move onto the following steps.

    2. To feel good in your body and eat healthy, use the ancient principle of “Hara hachi Bu” or “Eat up to 80% full”.

    Many Asian cultures like Japanese, Chinese and Indian practice this habit of eating until they are just satisfied. Transition from where you are today to 80% full by getting in touch with your physical hunger and fullness cues. Start by eating slowly and noticing how full your stomach feels and stop before you are too full (or until just satisfied).

    P.S.: This can be difficult when you start out and will be even more so for emotional or binge eaters who use food to soothe themselves. Trying to practice 80% full before establishing peace with food will only worsen the binge eating.

    3. Build a healthy and happy diet with foods you love.

    Start with a balanced plate for main meals consisting of:

    • 1-2 palm-sized servings of protein
    • 2 fist-size portions colorful vegetables
    • 1-2 cupped-hand size portion of grains or fruits.

    Women can start at the lower number while men can start at the higher end. If you get to 80% full before being able to finish the food in your plate, then just pack them up as leftovers.

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    Here’s an infographic to show you how to do it:[3]

      Allow room for snacks depending on your fullness – feel like eating a muffin? Go for it. Craving some chocolate – don’t hold yourself back. Enjoy what you’re eating instead of feeling guilty and you’ll automatically find yourself feeling satisfied with fewer bites.

      P.S.: Eating this way does two things. First, getting sufficient protein and vegetables helps you stay alert and avoid the fogginess so common after 3pm. Second, when you stop trying to control the so-called “bad” foods, you stop craving them and you are not likely to binge.

      4. Start small and build on

      If transitioning to step 2 and step 3 is a huge jump from where you are, don’t try to make the leap in one step. The key to successful healthy living is to add on small healthy habits that slowly build on each other.

      Start with adding some vegetables next to your lunch sandwich and two weeks later, start eating some eggs with your breakfast instead of muffins. Don’t force yourself to cook, just buy a chopped salad at the supermarket instead.

      Remember, make healthy living easy and it will become part of your daily life.

      Summing it up

      Eating healthy doesn’t have to be difficult or complicated. Health is not about eating the latest super foods or enjoying avocado toast while doing yoga. The basics of healthy living are simple, things even our grandparents can do.

      Make change easy for yourself and fit healthy eating into your everyday life. Focus on feeling good physically and mentally, eat all the foods you want (vegetables and cake alike!) and live your life happy with who you are.

      Featured photo credit: Kaboompics via kaboompics.com

      Reference

      [1] (James A.K. Erskine, Division of Mental Health, St George’s, University of London  & George J. Georgiou, School of Psychology, University of Hertfordshire, U.K.: Effects of thought suppression on eating behaviour in restrained and non-restrained eaters.
      [2] My Spoonful of Soul: Weight Loss & Freedom From Obsessive Food Thoughts – Can You Have Both?
      [3] Precision Nutrition: The best calorie control guide. [Infographic]

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      Sai Khanna

      I aspire to help you enjoy food without obsessing over it, deal with stress better and empower you with the mindsets so you can chase your dreams.

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      Last Updated on September 25, 2019

      How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

      How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

      As it appears, the human mind is not capable of not thinking, at least on the subconscious level. Our mind is always occupied by thoughts, whether we want to or not, and they influence our every action.

      When we were still children, our thoughts seemed to be purely positive. Have you ever been around a 4-year old who doesn’t like a painting he or she drew? I haven’t. Instead, I see glee, exciting and pride in children’s eyes. But as the years go by, we clutter our mind with doubts, fears and self-deprecating thoughts.

      Just imagine then, how much we limit ourselves in every aspect of our lives if we give negative thoughts too much power!

      We’ll never go after that job we’ve always wanted because our nay-saying thoughts make us doubt our abilities.

      We’ll never ask that person we like out on a date because we always think we’re not good enough.

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      We’ll never risk quitting our job in order to pursue the life and the work of our dreams because we can’t get over our mental barrier that insists we’re too weak, too unimportant and too dumb.

      We’ll never lose those pounds that risk our health because we believe we’re not capable of pushing our limits.

      And we’ll never be able to fully see our inner potential because we simply don’t dare to question the voices in our head…

      But enough is enough! It’s time to stop these limiting beliefs and come to a place of sanity, love and excitement about life, work and ourselves.

      So, how can we tap into the power of positivity?

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      “Happiness cannot come from without, it comes from within.” – Helen Keller

      It’s not as hard as it may seem; you just have to practice, practice, practice. Here are 4 simple yet powerful ideas on how you can get started.

      1. Learn to substitute every negative thought with a positive one.

      Every time a negative thought crawls into your mind, replace it with a positive thought. It’s just like someone writes a phrase you don’t like on a blackboard and then you get up, erase it and write something much more to your liking.

      Just take a look at these 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life.

      2. See the positive side of every situation, even when you are surrounded by pure negativity.

      This one is a bit harder to put into practice, which does not mean it’s impossible.

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      You can find positivity in everything by mentally holding on to something positive, whether this be family, friends, your faith, nature, someone’s sparkling eyes or whatever other glimmer of beauty.

      If you seek it, you will find it.

      3. At least once a day, take a moment and think of 5 things you are grateful for.

      This will lighten your mood and give you some perspective of what really is important in life and how many blessings surround you already.

      Here’re 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life that can inspire you.

      4. Change the mental images you allow to enter your mind.

      How you see yourself and your surroundings make a huge difference to your thinking.

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      Instead of dwelling on dark, negative thoughts, consciously build and focus on positive, light and colorful images, thoughts and situations in your mind a few times a day.

      Learn from this article how to change your mental images: How to Think Positive and Eliminate Negative Thoughts

      If you are persistent and keep on working on yourself, your mind will automatically reject its negative thoughts and welcome the positive ones.

      And remember:

      You are (or will become) what you think you are.

      This is reasonable enough to be proactive about whatever is going on in your head.

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