Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel isolated from everyone else. While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains: what should we do when we feel lost and lonely? Here are 12 things to remember.
1. Recognize that it’s okay!
The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult. However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance. We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship. Embrace your “me time!”
2. Use your loneliness as a self-directing guide.
You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.” Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.
3. Realize loneliness helps you face the truth.
Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation. Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!
4. Be aware that you have more control than you think.
Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation. No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.
5. Embrace the freedom that the feeling of being alone can offer.
Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom. Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.
6. Acknowledge the person you are now.
Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness or being lost because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you. Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s OK that you’re not who you used to be.
7. Keep striving to do your best.
Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care. Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.
8. Don’t forget that time is precious.
When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation. Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.
9. Remember, things happen for a reason.
Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others. Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn. Your solitude, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.
10. Remember to journal during this time.
Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later. This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.
11. Remember you aren’t the first to feel this way!
It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way. The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain! Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.
12. Remember to ask for help if the problem persists.
The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time. Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it. When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.
Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act. Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair
Featured photo credit: Calsidyrose via creativecommons.org