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If You Have A Fear Of Failing, Ask Yourself These 7 Questions

If You Have A Fear Of Failing, Ask Yourself These 7 Questions

Everyone is afraid of failing. It hurts our ego, finances, relationships and our vision of who we are, which makes us naturally adverse to jumping off the deep end too often. Here’s the thing though, you never get to take a swim with the big fish if you don’t take that first leap. The key is to ask yourself key questions before you jump!

What Would You Attempt If You Knew You Could Not Fail?

Think big, wild and fun! Where would you go? Who would you connect with? What venture would you pursue? Every decision has the potential for failure, but dreaming about the amazing opportunities that you could make or take helps guide you towards your future decisions.

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What If I Fail – How Will I Recover?

Failure is inevitable if you take a multitude of risks. Think about learning to ride a skateboard. The first time you get on the board you are a bit wobbly. In fact, you will probably wipe out more times than you can keep count, but eventually you will get the hang of it and be riding around with ease. The thing about falling is that you have to know how. You roll with it instead of letting yourself crash flat onto the pavement and you start to get back on the board not letting fear get hold of you. When you are taking a risk you plan for a failure and how you will negotiate your way back into the game.

What If I Succeed?

Success is often the real reason people don’t take risks. We are afraid of our own power, abilities, and strengths and how that will rock the boat in our current lives. What we are afraid of isn’t our success, but the unknown. Your success will bring about new and exciting challenges that you can’t possibly predict and letting that rule your decisions will keep you back 100% of the time.

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“We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.” Christian Nestell Bovee

What’s Truly Worth Doing?

Options! That is often what stops us from taking a risk – too many good things in life to do! You have to just choose something and move forward. You can make a list of the pros and cons of each idea, but eventually you have to choose and not regret the decision that you made. Taking a risk is better then being in the forever pattern of wondering what to do.

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What Went Right In This Failure?

Since failure in life is inevitable, if we do anything, it is important to reflect on what went right. Those are the things that you will keep when you take your next risk. Just like when you got on that skateboard and fell off, you quickly figured out what was working while you were riding down the path and you refine that over and over letting what didn’t work go. That refinement and reflection prepares you for your next leap!

What If I Didn’t Care What People Thought?

Thinking about what your parents, friends and family think is often what keeps us back from taking a risk on something we are passionate about. If your risk doesn’t impact them financially or their security it doesn’t matter what they think. People often don’t move forward because they are afraid someone is going to make fun of them or think they are crazy or stupid. Don’t stop yourself from living your dreams because of someone else’s opinion. At the end of your life you don’t want to regret doing what you really wanted to do.

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What If I Don’t Have All The Answers?

You never will. It is that simple. You can prepare, plan and scope out your future with as much caution as you like, but you are not ultimately in control of everything. Life happens and it is so much better when you throw a little caution to the wind and ride with it!

Featured photo credit: Julian Bleeker via

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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