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If You Have A Fear Of Failing, Ask Yourself These 7 Questions

If You Have A Fear Of Failing, Ask Yourself These 7 Questions

Everyone is afraid of failing. It hurts our ego, finances, relationships and our vision of who we are, which makes us naturally adverse to jumping off the deep end too often. Here’s the thing though, you never get to take a swim with the big fish if you don’t take that first leap. The key is to ask yourself key questions before you jump!

What Would You Attempt If You Knew You Could Not Fail?

Think big, wild and fun! Where would you go? Who would you connect with? What venture would you pursue? Every decision has the potential for failure, but dreaming about the amazing opportunities that you could make or take helps guide you towards your future decisions.

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What If I Fail – How Will I Recover?

Failure is inevitable if you take a multitude of risks. Think about learning to ride a skateboard. The first time you get on the board you are a bit wobbly. In fact, you will probably wipe out more times than you can keep count, but eventually you will get the hang of it and be riding around with ease. The thing about falling is that you have to know how. You roll with it instead of letting yourself crash flat onto the pavement and you start to get back on the board not letting fear get hold of you. When you are taking a risk you plan for a failure and how you will negotiate your way back into the game.

What If I Succeed?

Success is often the real reason people don’t take risks. We are afraid of our own power, abilities, and strengths and how that will rock the boat in our current lives. What we are afraid of isn’t our success, but the unknown. Your success will bring about new and exciting challenges that you can’t possibly predict and letting that rule your decisions will keep you back 100% of the time.

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“We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.” Christian Nestell Bovee

What’s Truly Worth Doing?

Options! That is often what stops us from taking a risk – too many good things in life to do! You have to just choose something and move forward. You can make a list of the pros and cons of each idea, but eventually you have to choose and not regret the decision that you made. Taking a risk is better then being in the forever pattern of wondering what to do.

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What Went Right In This Failure?

Since failure in life is inevitable, if we do anything, it is important to reflect on what went right. Those are the things that you will keep when you take your next risk. Just like when you got on that skateboard and fell off, you quickly figured out what was working while you were riding down the path and you refine that over and over letting what didn’t work go. That refinement and reflection prepares you for your next leap!

What If I Didn’t Care What People Thought?

Thinking about what your parents, friends and family think is often what keeps us back from taking a risk on something we are passionate about. If your risk doesn’t impact them financially or their security it doesn’t matter what they think. People often don’t move forward because they are afraid someone is going to make fun of them or think they are crazy or stupid. Don’t stop yourself from living your dreams because of someone else’s opinion. At the end of your life you don’t want to regret doing what you really wanted to do.

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What If I Don’t Have All The Answers?

You never will. It is that simple. You can prepare, plan and scope out your future with as much caution as you like, but you are not ultimately in control of everything. Life happens and it is so much better when you throw a little caution to the wind and ride with it!

Featured photo credit: Julian Bleeker via

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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