Advertising
Advertising

Why Being Popular Isn’t as Cool as It Looks

Why Being Popular Isn’t as Cool as It Looks

We’ve all heard the old adage, “Here today, gone tomorrow.” It summarizes the idea of how fleeting popularity is in our society today. Take a look around. Football stars, movie stars, political figures, coaches, and CEOs of major companies all have one thing in common: they were popular, and then they fell from grace.

Norv Turner got the ax in San Diego because his team wasn’t winning. Tim Tebow got the boot over Peyton Manning in Denver, and, yes, Michael Jordon really got cut from his High School basketball team. Why? Because according to the world’s standards, they didn’t perform well enough. Folks like Lance Armstrong and Tiger Woods learned the hard way that popularity can quickly go to your head and lead you to do some pretty messed up stuff. These were superstars, and they all fell from grace — hard. Movie stars aren’t even immune from being dethroned. Their popularity can fold like a deck of cards, if not forever, at least for a time: Tom Cruise, Brittany Spears, and Ben Affleck all took hits for their performances — or lack there of.

Advertising

The bottom line is this: being popular is great, but it comes with a price. If you’re not producing, you’re done. That’s not a pleasant thought, but a necessary one to consider. While popularity has its perks, it also has its pitfalls. You don’t have to have the notoriety of a superstar to struggle with wanting to stay on top; you can be jealous of your best friend, a sibling, your boss, or just about anyone.

The truth is, being popular isn’t always the coolest thing to be. In fact, there are a great many more attributes that far outweigh being popular. So if you’re tired of being on the performance treadmill and trying to win popularity through the world’s standards, here are a few things to consider:

Advertising

Being popular….

Doesn’t last forever

Unless you’re Oprah, or if Elvis is still in the building, popularity can be fleeting. Instead of focusing on being popular, focus on how you want to be remembered in life. Strive to build a legacy that will last and that can be passed on to generations after you. Ask yourself how you want the people who really mattered to you in life to remember you, and plan your life accordingly. You may not be the most popular person in the world, but you’ll be the most popular person in your world.

Advertising

Keeps you on the performance treadmill

It takes a lot of effort and stamina to develop popularity and sustain it. That means you’re only as good as your last performance. Whether you’re a car salesman or a top NFL football player, if you aren’t making it happen every week, you’re done. Even if you’re a people-pleaser, you’re still putting yourself on the performance treadmill. You always have to do a good audience analysis, find out what people want you to say or do, and do it so they’ll like you. You can’t be free to express how you really feel because you’re afraid others may reject you. So you keep running, never realizing who you really are apart from your performance.

Puts your focus on self

If you’re always worried about what people think, you can never rest. You will always have to say the right things, perform perfectly, look perfectly, and act perfectly. In other words, you have to always be focused on YOU! Even for a narcissist, that can get old. Thinking about yourself too much hinders you from developing empathy toward others. When we’re “other-focused” and think about paying things forward, we’ll not only feel better about ourselves, we’ll generally get what we want.

Advertising

I’m not saying being popular isn’t nice. I was popular in High School, but looking back, I can see how it created some false beliefs in my life that hindered me from walking in real peace and rest.

If you’re tired of performing to be successful, take a risk and jump off the treadmill for a while. You might like how it feels, and, who knows, you might never want to jump on again!

Back at you: How has the drive to be popular stolen your joy? Any suggestions for jumping off the treadmill?

More by this author

Rita Schulte LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

How to Turn Off Negative Thoughts in Your Mind 5 Productivity Hacks to Kick Start Your Day Why Successful People Aren’t Afraid of Rejection How to Improve your Finances in 4 Easy Steps Five Things We Can Learn from Facing our Fears

Trending in Communication

1 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone 2 What Does Success Look Like? Revealed by 12 Highly Successful People 3 How to Practice Mindful Meditation to Calm Your Thoughts 4 9 Powerful Techniques for Building Rapport with Anyone 5 How to Win an Argument – Dos, Don’ts and Sneaky Tactics

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

Advertising

The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

Advertising

2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

Advertising

5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

Advertising

7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

Read Next