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Why Beauty Is Not About the Makeup, But Accepting Yourself

Why Beauty Is Not About the Makeup, But Accepting Yourself

People can’t discover themselves anymore. Perhaps because we live in a world crazed by physical attraction or because the media has swallowed up our self esteem in whom and what it glorifies. Billions of dollars are spent on cosmetics and beauty products that promise you the prefect body. Narcissism seems to exist everywhere. Between those lines, we try to join the crowd or feel left out. Yet the only way we can truly be happy is when we start accepting who we are rather than defining or carving a different image for ourselves. Although makeup beautifies our outer persona, does it build our character and define who we are? Here is where true beauty lies, in accepting ourselves for how lovely we are.

1. There is nothing wrong with us.

“What other people think of me is none of my business.”

—Wayne Dyer

Truthfully we shouldn’t live our lives according to the wrong perception of others. There is nothing wrong with us. Even if we are suffering an ailment or have a physical deformity, our body is not who we are but only a physical representation of elements of our soul. Trying to look through lenses of purity at what value exists within us makes us love ourselves more and ignore others’ opinions. Who you are moreover is who are meant to be rather than what others see you to be, and the more you understand this, the more you realize that nothing is wrong with you.

2. Accepting yourself means others will learn to accept you

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”

—Kurt Cobain

By accepting yourself, you overcome issues regarding self esteem and become unstoppable in making others love you for who you are. By being positive about who you are, you suddenly become a magnetic force and define how others treat you for who you genuinely are.

3. You face the world boldly.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

—Lucille Ball

Somehow nature favors the bold, rather than those who hide their inferiority with grooming or make-up. By facing your weakness with your strength, you find the inner energy to build on who you are and attain your goals. The world accepts your courage and gives you the opportunity you need to grow.

4. You learn who your real friends are.

No one wants to look good for a few friends who are more concerned about your outer appearance rather than who you really are from within. By accepting yourself you learn to filter those who are meant to be with you for the whole nine yards rather than some friends who are more akin with your physical looks.

5. You become more beautiful on the inside.

By accepting yourself for who you are, you can act on who you are on the inside. With all respect to the well groomed people and made-up faces out there, accepting yourself will only give you more time to nourish your inner beauty and become a better person. You can thus focus on priorities and actions that are devoid of feelings like hatred and jealousy and being true and good to yourself.

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6. You can face life’s changes.

Whether we want it or not, we won’t remain young and static. We would grow older and have older faces. By accepting yourself you are able to prepare your mindset for whatever changes on your outer world that will come rather than be stunned or petrified by them.

7. You are happier.

Inner beauty defines true happiness. What else do you need to offer you a smile daily except a positive spirit, a good heart and an acceptance of who you are? Self contentment has never betrayed its owners, from Mother Theresa to Mahatma Gandhi. And it won’t betray you also.

Featured photo credit: young beautiful girl portrait via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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