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What Every Introvert Should Do to Live a Great Life

What Every Introvert Should Do to Live a Great Life

An introvert by definition is a person who is predominantly concerned with his own thoughts and feelings rather than external things. Introverts possess characteristics seen as shy, reticent, and are often assumed to be self-centered.

Introverts are people holding a treasure that is worth discovering. They are not people who hate people, but they prefer to be alone rather than to be in the crowd surrounded. There are positive aspects to both introverts and extroverts, and this article will explore the positive aspects of life as an introvert, and how you can embrace the different parts to live a happy life.

1. Confronting part (internal)

As some people prefer to be around others–introverts– some people like to be left alone with their own thoughts–the introverts. Confronting with oneself is the most important part of being introvert. If you tend to enjoy more time alone then be more alone. If you force yourself to go in the crowd just to pretend to be someone you are not, you are going to experience mood failure.

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Before making someone else happy, we need to have positive energy to share that happiness. If we go against our happiness, it’s bad for our health, happiness, and the environment.

Energy is flow–every atom vibrate at any given frequency, which proves that we have waves of positivity or negativity to share, depending on our mood status. Do not go against your own self because that’s the destructive part and trouble maker.

2. Cope with public (external)

Okay, let’s not confuse some things. Being an introvert is not a person who hates people and would rather be swaying in the corner, sitting alone in the dark room, than to be present in a bright room full of people.

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Coping with the public is cheerful for everyone. Introverts need less time with people, but they vitally need that part. Sharing our thoughts and having someone to understand us is always a must. Introverts have fewer people they can open up to. That means introverts external part is a must, but the number of people they open up is few. They prefer smaller entourage, rather than bigger one.

Some imagine introverts as Will Smith from I Am Legend, which is a common misconception. They are happy having a small, close circle of friends rather than a crowd.

3. Accepting part (internal and external)

The part where the flow of the chemistry with oneself combines is the part where we accept ourselves as the person we are.

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After confronting, we need to accept and live by that rule our whole life. It’s something like having a code. Introverts live by the code expressed by the quote “I’m rarely bored alone; I’m often bored in groups and crowds.”

Having fun and enjoying with oneself is a gift that needs to be embraced. Lot people I personally know, and many of my close friends, can’t be left alone. They seek someone to hangout and must be around the crowd. That states them as extroverts and they accept that.

Extroverts have one funny quote which describes them perfect “When people assume something’s wrong because you don’t feel like talking.” Usually, if we don’t assume that is wrong, there is quite big possibility that they are introverts because the mind speaks all the time, either we share that voice with people or we keep it to ourselves. Even when we sleep, we often dream. “That thing” up there never sleeps.

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We have to confront ourselves, combine with our feelings, see what makes us happy, and accept that we are the way we are.

Featured photo credit: Happy Girl Hopscotch in Strawberry Free Creative Commons/Pink Sherbet Photography via flickr.com

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What Every Introvert Should Do To Live A Great Life

What Every Introvert Should Do To Live A Great Life

As an introvert, I understand how life seems quite overwhelming. Constant anxiety and nervousness when engaging with people, especially those who are out of our comfort zone, feels inhibiting. Moreover, one gets misunderstood on many levels by extroverts, and this adds to our frustrations when trying to communicate. The below tips help in alleviating some of our woes, so that we introverts can live great and fulfilling lives.

1. Fit in.

Fitting into a social gathering or a party may seem exhausting for introverts. Bring in a friend or a colleague with whom you are comfortable. Alternatively, come early to the party when the crowd is thin to identify and meet people who share your interests. This way when the party gets loud and the room gets crowded, you are already in your comfort zone.

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2. Over-communicate.

Man is a social animal, and seeks constant communication and feedback with anyone he encounters. For introverts, this is not something that is easy to internalize. To compensate for this lack of understanding, always over-communicate. Acknowledge anyone you meet. The acknowledgement need not be verbal; a smile on the face or a pat on the back works well too. Similarly, when communicating your feelings and emotions with others, don’t be shy about your feedback. Be assertive, and, if necessary, repetitive in getting the message across.

3. Focus the conversation.

As introverts, we do not like meandering around endless conversations. Such conversations seem pointless and a waste of energy. Rather than getting frustrated in the cacophony of noise, one should focus the conversation with objective, reflective, interpretive and decisional questions. This helps to maintain our mental equilibrium, to add meaning to the conversation, and, if lucky, to bring the conversation to a logical end.

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4. Prepare.

Prepare in advance before you attend a social gathering, or a meeting. Have some topics of conversation ready. Be ready with what you want to share. If possible play out in your head how you would like to steer the conversation. Think of all the diversions and how would you tackle them. This may seem cumbersome at the start, but once you have a standard script ready, it is easy to customize for just about any occasion.

5. Know your limits.

Understand your limits, and do not push them without reason. It is OK to say “no” if you are not comfortable attending a social event. Even at the workplace, although it may not be possible to say “no” all the time, one should give subtle hints if one is not comfortable engaging in certain activities. Moreover, instead of getting intimidated or overwhelmed by people around you, try to adapt. For example, if you have a chatterbox as a colleague around you, then it would be wise to invest in a good pair of noise cancelling headphones.

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6. Invest your energy wisely.

As Introverts, we have a fixed amount of patience and energy to deal with social engagements, be it personal or professional. It is important to invest our energies wisely. For example, if I have a big marketing event to attend in the evening, then I will try to have a peaceful and quiet morning. In addition, I rarely schedule exhausting social interactions on consecutive days. Try to pick and choose your social events, instead of attending every event that comes your way.

7. Breathe in; meditate.

There are days, when life gets overwhelming. We tend to freeze up. Taking the next step seems like a chore. Sometimes we get worked up over trivial issues, and small issues snowball into huge panic attacks . In those times, understand that it is all in your mind. Take a deep breath, and meditate on what is bothering you. Once you identify it, try to do a mental pro-con list and objectively analyze if makes sense to spend any more energy on the issue. If yes, make a note of it and decide to come back to it at a later time. If no, take another deep breath and move on.

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8. Write.

Journaling day-to-day activities is a great way to understand your emotions and feelings. It allows you to come back to issues or conflicts that are bothersome. Having a dialogue with oneself, through journal writing, helps to arrive at surprising conclusions, ones that could never be reached while ruminating the same thoughts in your mind again and again. This extends to writing on blogs or writing books. If blogging helps you to establish a presence in the online world, and then extend those relationships in the real world, then all power be to you.

9. Schedule some “me time.”

As Introverts, we need our time and space to recharge ourselves. It is fine to stay at home to clean your apartment or room of all the unwanted clutter. In this way, we make sure that our environment is safe and nurturing for us. Similarly, one can go out for a walk or a run. This provides the needed solitude required to recharge, along with the added benefit of releasing endorphins that make you feel great. Do whatever works for you, and make sure that others do not encroach on your “me time.”

10. Be yourself.

We introverts have feelings and emotions to hide away from everything and everyone around us. Part of the reason might be that we do not like to explain ourselves or our actions to others. However, these are not healthy feelings. At best, they work contribute to ostracizing ourselves from the world. And for most of us, this is not our final aim. Instead, one needs to understand and celebrate the traits that make you an introvert. Sooner rather than later, you should realize that the traits that made you seem out of place earlier are the ones that help you to be successful in life.

Featured photo credit: Mark J Sebastian via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

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Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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