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The Top 10 Motivation Poisons

The Top 10 Motivation Poisons

We are drawing close to the new year and you know what that brings—New Year’s resolutions. Many of us have new goals and priorities and things we really hope to achieve during this fresh new year. So what is the problem? Motivation poisons. Beware of these motivation poisons that can bring you down and keep you from being the person you want to be this new year.

1. Naysayers holding you back.

These are people who do not want to see you succeed with your new goals and will tell you so. It is likely that they are just jealous of your ambition, so do not let them get you down.

2. Negative thoughts keeping you down.

The brain is a funny thing in that negative thoughts can actually prevent us from completing a goal. These motivation poisons of the brain are probably not even true. Just keep telling yourself that it is mind over matter and push on forward.

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3. Not setting proper goals.

It is great to have lofty goals, but the biggest obstacle is nailing down an exact plan on how to achieve them. This involves coming up with concrete steps to move you towards your aspirations.

See One of the Best Goal Setting Exercises here.

4. Having a lack of preparation.

Along with not setting proper goals, sometimes you truly are not prepared enough. If you have a dream of becoming a lawyer, do some research. What are the best schools? How long does it take? How much money will you spend? Being prepared will ensure you have less hiccups along the way.

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5. Expecting perfection from yourself.

Humans are not perfect and that is just the way it is. Expecting yourself to never make mistakes or backtrack on your goals is silly. Once you experience these setbacks, cut yourself some slack and remind yourself that no one is perfect.

6. Falling into the comparison trap.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

What he meant was, if you compare yourself to others, you will never be happy. Try instead comparing yourself to your past self. You might be surprised at how much you have grown and improved over the years. Use this as a reminder that you are capable of changing to push you forward in your dreams.

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7. Doing too much at once.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Look at your resolutions in the same way. Map out baby steps so that you do not overwhelm yourself.

8. Feeling that you are not worthy of great things.

We all are worthy of our dreams. Just because they seem big and far off should not prevent you from trying. Do not let your low self-worth hold you back from the things you are capable of!

9. Making excuses.

Listen, we could all probably come up with an excuse not to do anything in this life, whether it be reasons why you should not go to the store today or reasons why you should not pursue that promotion. Excuses really are the easiest motivation poisons we can inflict on ourselves, so resist the temptation, be bold and press forward.

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10. Setting too many goals.

How long is that New Year’s resolutions list? Be honest with yourself and decide which goals you have your heart set on and those you can do without. Once the list becomes too long, our brain becomes far too burdened and you might find yourself frozen, unable to decide which goal to work on first. By making our list an achievable one, we can really visualize a positive outcome.

Motivation poisons can come at us from many different angles, so it is best to be prepared. Use this list as a reminder of how to fight back against the naysayers, negative thoughts, excuses and more.

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Amanda DeWitt

Writer. Photographer. Instagrammer. Future Educator.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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