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The 17 Secrets to Improve Body Language

The 17 Secrets to Improve Body Language

Some of us do not naturally possess the personality or body language that is required for making a good impression on others. Body language is the first thing that people notice about you, so do yourself (and those around you) a favor and learn what your body says about you. This can help you in every aspect of your life—from friendships to important job interviews—so check out these tips.

1. Smile.

Most people do not realize that their “neutral” face is more of a scowl, which is an obvious turn-off. You do not need to be beaming from ear to ear 24/7; however, it is a good idea to remind yourself to turn up the corners of your mouth a bit.

You may also be interested in 11 Facts About Smiling.

2. Uncross your arms.

Having your arms crossed signals that you want to be left alone or that you are upset. Uncrossing your arms will signal to others (and yourself) that you are at ease in the situation. Even though I have known this trick for years, I still catch myself crossing my arms. It is natural habit, but necessary to break if you are trying to make a positive impression on those around you.

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3. Use proper eye contact.

Try to maintain a balance between staring into a person’s soul and appearing to not pay attention.

4. Sit or stand up straight.

Hunching over is another signal to others that you are protecting yourself. You may feel uncomfortable in the situation, but by using proper posture you will appear (and feel) more confident.

5. Relax your shoulders.

There is a balance with the shoulders: shoulders too high will make you appear nervous, but slumped shoulders give off a sad or self-conscious vibe. Try to work somewhere in the middle, your shoulders falling to a natural and comfortable height.

6. Straighten your entire spine—including your neck.

Even if your back is straight, you can blow others’ perception by craning your neck forward. Unless you are looking at someone who is shorter than you, your entire spine should be straight. Try to remind yourself to keep your “chin up” and your neck will straighten out in a positively confident manner.

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7. Claim your space.

Those with a small frame naturally take up less space and appear timid. A way to counter this is to imagine that you are claiming your space on the floor. Stand with feet apart; not together. Place one hand (or both) on the hip for visual trickery, making you appear to take up more space than you actually do. This will show others that although you are small, you are self-assured.

8. Mirror the person with whom you are speaking.

People like to see their body language mirrored since it makes them feel as though the other person can empathize or has similar ideas.

9. Do not stare at the floor.

Unless you are checking out the new carpeting or someone’s sparkly shoes, your eyes should be close to others’ eye level.

10. Slow down your speech.

I can attest to the fact that when I am nervous, I start talking like someone hit the fast forward button on my mouth. This is one way people can see right through to how nervous you really are.

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11. Take a deep breath.

This is one surefire way to calm your nerves and make your whole person more relaxed.

12. Do not touch your neck or face.

This is a signal to others that you are protecting yourself or are nervous.

13. Nod when someone is talking to you.

This is a positive form of body language that will let others know you are listening and engaged in the conversation. It can also give them a boost of confidence, and who doesn’t like to be around someone who makes us feel good?

14. Point your feet.

No, not like a ballerina. Point your feet in the direction of the person with whom you are speaking.

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15. Lower your voice.

Studies show that those with deeper voices are taken more seriously.

16. Steeple your hands. Or don’t.

This is something that I found to be somewhat controversial. The hand steeple is where you touch all of your fingers together to form a sort of “steeple.” This action is taught by some body language coaches in order to appear more confident or commanding, but others find this to be unnatural. What do you think? It should also be noted that you need to have proper posture when “steepling” so you do not look like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.

17. Maintain proper distance.

This one is in the gray area as well, since some are more comfortable with close talkers, but the main point is to pay attention to those around you. Do they have to lean in to hear you? Move closer. Are people backing away from you? For heaven’s sake, do not keep moving closer as they inch away!

Body language is the biggest way that others perceive you. Overall, you should appear relaxed, confident and engaging in order to attract the positive attention you want. Try some of these out today!

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Amanda DeWitt

Writer. Photographer. Instagrammer. Future Educator.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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