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Mom Sheds Light On What People Have Said About Her Adopted Children Through Photos

Mom Sheds Light On What People Have Said About Her Adopted Children Through Photos

A daughter by definition is “a female child or person, in relation to her mother, father or both”. Relation is “the way in which two or more people are connected”. Some people however, do not know or understand that you do not need to be related to be connected as family. Kim Kelley-Wagner is a mother of two who has recently posted a series of photos in an album titled “Things said to or about my adopted daughters” on her Facebook. Though it may not seem like it, children are always listening. What we say out of ignorance can really hurt them and linger in their thoughts.

 “Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” – Oprah Winfrey

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         “I am not broken because I am adopted, I am blessed.” – adoption.com

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               “There are no unwanted children, just unfound families.” – The National Adoption Center

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                    “I have four children, two are adopted, I forget which two.” – Bob Constantine

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                          “It’s important to realize that we adopt not because we are rescuers. No. We adopt because we are rescued.” – David Platt

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                                “Adoption is not a birth-mother’s rejection but an unconditional love that inspires her to put herself last and do all she can for her baby.” – Unknown

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                                    “Somehow destiny comes into play. These children end up with you and you end up with them. It’s something quite magical.” – Nicole Kidman

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                                          On her Facebook, Kim says “I have tried to explain to my daughters that people do not say these things to be mean, they say them out of ignorance, which is why I am sharing some of them. Words are powerful, they can become tools or weapons, choose to use them wisely.” All children are unique in their own way but they all need love and encouragement. They see your actions, hear your words and sometimes, if the words are said enough, think your thoughts so be mindful of what you say. Adopted children are not an exception to that rule either, they are no different from any other family with a biological child. It does not mean they love their parents any less, or that they are loved any less. It just means there were a few more pieces of paper involved in order to complete a family.

                                          “Be careful what you say, you can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there” – Joel Osteen

                                          Featured photo credit: Family – Jill Wellington via pixabay.com

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                                          Margielyn Musser

                                          Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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                                          Last Updated on January 18, 2019

                                          7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

                                          7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

                                          Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

                                          But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

                                          If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

                                          1. Limit the time you spend with them.

                                          First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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                                          In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

                                          Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

                                          2. Speak up for yourself.

                                          Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

                                          3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

                                          This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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                                          But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

                                          4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

                                          Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

                                          This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

                                          Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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                                          5. Change the subject.

                                          When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

                                          Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

                                          6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

                                          Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

                                          I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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                                          You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

                                          Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

                                          7. Leave them behind.

                                          Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

                                          If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

                                          That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

                                          You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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