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A List of 100 Questions to Ask Your Partner on Date Nights

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A List of 100 Questions to Ask Your Partner on Date Nights

Date nights for established couples can feel boring and stale if you talk about the same old topics all the time. Talking about work, the kids, or household repairs should not be the primary focus of nights when you’re trying to reconnect as a couple.

So, here is a list of 100 — yes, 100 — questions that you can choose from to ask each other on your next dinner out.

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Use only two to three questions per date night, and really talk about the answers in depth. They range across various domains, including romance, intimacy, family, career, and many others.

The point is to get to know your partner on a deep level all over again. This will increase your feelings of closeness, connection, and romance, which we all know is the whole point of date night!

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100 Questions to Ask Your Partner on Date Nights

  1. What is your favorite memory of dating me?
  2. What is your favorite sexual memory of us?
  3. What food reminds you of me?
  4. When was the last time you thought about me in a positive way?
  5. What is your favorite thing that I do for you?
  6. What movie reminds you of us?
  7. Which of your parents are you most like?
  8. Which of our kids are most like you? (or if you aren’t parents yet: Do you ever picture having kids?)
  9. What’s my best physical feature?
  10. What do you like most that I do in bed?
  11. What’s your favorite time of day to be intimate?
  12. Do you like kissing or hugging more?
  13. When did you know you wanted to be monogamous with me?
  14. Do you ever get jealous if you see me talking to other attractive people?
  15. Do you ever dream about me?
  16. What do you think we need to work on the most in our relationship?
  17. If you got sick, do you think I would be there to care for you?
  18. Do you believe that I love you?
  19. When did you know you wanted to kiss me?
  20. What’s your favorite non-sex activity that we do together?
  21. As a child, did you trust both of your parents?
  22. What is your favorite thing I ever did for a special occasion for you?
  23. What is your favorite sexual fantasy?
  24. What is your favorite sexual position?
  25. Do you ever think about me sexually during the day?
  26. What is something I could do to make you trust me even more?
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    • When do you feel the most protected and taken care of?
    • What can I do to make sure you feel safe with me?
    • When we hang out with friends, do I make you feel like you’re still my priority?
    • When we are with my family, do I make you feel like you’re still my priority?
    • Do you have any deal-breakers, things that would make you seriously reconsider our relationship?
    • What was the very first thing you thought about me?
    • When did you first think I was attractive?
    • How long do you think people should wait before having kids?
    • What did you learn about marriage from your parents?
    • What did you learn about physical affection from your parents?
    • What is your favorite book?
    • What is your favorite song?
    • What was your first favorite movie, as a child?
    • What do you want to do when you retire?
    • Do you ever picture having grandchildren?
    • What’s another career that you think you would love?
    • What’s your favorite physical feature of your own?
    • Who was your favorite teacher when you were a child?
    • What’s your favorite memory with your mom?
    • What’s your favorite memory with your dad?
    • Which significant other before me had the biggest impact on you?
    • What did you think after your first sexual experience?
    • Did you like high school or college better?
    • Where have you always wanted to travel?
    • Did you ever consider a totally different career path?
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      • What was your favorite class in high school?
      • What was the best party you ever went to?
      • What’s the happiest you ever felt?
      • What’s the most anxious you ever felt?
      • What’s the angriest you ever felt?
      • Do you believe in God?
      • What’s a question you’ve never asked me?
      • What’s your favorite personality trait of your own?
      • Which of your personality traits do you wish you could change?
      • Have you ever gotten really obsessed with some topic?
      • Did you collect stuff as a child?
      • Which of your parents did you go to when you wanted to talk?
      • What’s the most scared you ever felt, as a child?
      • What’s the accomplishment you are most proud of?
      • Where do you want to be living in 10 years?
      • Which of your friends would you choose if you had to be on a desert island with just one?
      • Which of your friends is most like you?
      • What do you think about couples who are married but live in different cities?
      • What do you think about couples who own a business together and spend all their time together?
      • Which would you like most: a summer house, a year-long vacation, or a boat?
      • What would you do with a million dollars?
      • What would you do with an extra $1,000 to spend only on yourself?
      • When you were a kid, did you feel that you fitted in?
      • What was your favorite subject in middle school?
      • Did you go through puberty before or after everyone else, or right on time?
      • Who was your first crush?
      • Who was your first kiss?
      • Who was the first person to have a crush on you?
      • Do you think of yourself as an introvert or an extrovert?
      • If you could go back in time, what age would you be again?
      • If you could see into the future, what would you want to know?
      • What’s your greatest talent?
      • What is your most unique trait?
      • What makes me different from the other people you’ve been with?
      • What is the best thing about our relationship?
      • Do you ever compare yourself to other guys/girls?
      • Which of my friends do you think is the most fun?
      • Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?
      • When you wake up in the middle of the night, what do you think about?
      • If you had to change one thing about yourself, what would you pick?
      • Do you think I’m more of an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?
      • As a teenager, did you ever rebel against your parents?
      • Who’s the closest person to you in your extended family?
      • Did you ever want more or fewer siblings?
      • How did you siblings shape who you are?
      • What was your favorite date night we ever had?
      • What are your secret thoughts when you see me at the end of the day?
      • Do you ever wish I could read your mind? When?
      • What things about me make you know I’m the one for you?

      Whew! That was a long list. Now go make reservations, and there is no excuse if you end up talking about the cat vomiting on the rug.

      More Dating Ideas for Couples

      50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

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      The Best Date Night Movies That Guys Will Enjoy Just As Much As Girls

      18 Ways To Bring More Fun Into Your Romance

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      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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      Samantha Rodman

      Clinical psychologist, author, blogger, wife and mommy.

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      Last Updated on July 20, 2021

      How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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      How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

      You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

      Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

      Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

      Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

      1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

      According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

      “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

      Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

      Warming up

      If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

      If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

      Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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      1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
      2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
      3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

      Stay hydrated

      Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

      To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

      Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

      Meditate

      Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

      Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

      Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

      Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

      2. Focus on your goal

      One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

      Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

      Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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      Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

      If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

      3. Convert negativity to positivity

      There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

      ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

      It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

      Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

      Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

      Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

      4. Understand your content

      Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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      However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

      “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

      Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

      Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

      One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

      5. Practice makes perfect

      Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

      In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

      Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

      6. Be authentic

      There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

      Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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      Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

      To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

      With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

      Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

      7. Post speech evaluation

      Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

      Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

      We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

      You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

      Improve your next speech

      As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

      Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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      • How did I do?
      • Are there any areas for improvement?
      • Did I sound or look stressed?
      • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
      • Was I saying “um” too often?
      • How was the flow of the speech?

      Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

      If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

      Reference

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