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A List of 100 Questions to Ask Your Partner on Date Nights

A List of 100 Questions to Ask Your Partner on Date Nights

Date nights for established couples can feel boring and stale if you talk about the same old topics all the time. Talking about work, the kids, or household repairs should not be the primary focus of nights when you’re trying to reconnect as a couple.

So, here is a list of 100 — yes, 100 — questions that you can choose from to ask each other on your next dinner out.

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Use only two to three questions per date night, and really talk about the answers in depth. They range across various domains, including romance, intimacy, family, career, and many others.

The point is to get to know your partner on a deep level all over again. This will increase your feelings of closeness, connection, and romance, which we all know is the whole point of date night!

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100 Questions to Ask Your Partner on Date Nights

  1. What is your favorite memory of dating me?
  2. What is your favorite sexual memory of us?
  3. What food reminds you of me?
  4. When was the last time you thought about me in a positive way?
  5. What is your favorite thing that I do for you?
  6. What movie reminds you of us?
  7. Which of your parents are you most like?
  8. Which of our kids are most like you? (or if you aren’t parents yet: Do you ever picture having kids?)
  9. What’s my best physical feature?
  10. What do you like most that I do in bed?
  11. What’s your favorite time of day to be intimate?
  12. Do you like kissing or hugging more?
  13. When did you know you wanted to be monogamous with me?
  14. Do you ever get jealous if you see me talking to other attractive people?
  15. Do you ever dream about me?
  16. What do you think we need to work on the most in our relationship?
  17. If you got sick, do you think I would be there to care for you?
  18. Do you believe that I love you?
  19. When did you know you wanted to kiss me?
  20. What’s your favorite non-sex activity that we do together?
  21. As a child, did you trust both of your parents?
  22. What is your favorite thing I ever did for a special occasion for you?
  23. What is your favorite sexual fantasy?
  24. What is your favorite sexual position?
  25. Do you ever think about me sexually during the day?
  26. What is something I could do to make you trust me even more?
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    • When do you feel the most protected and taken care of?
    • What can I do to make sure you feel safe with me?
    • When we hang out with friends, do I make you feel like you’re still my priority?
    • When we are with my family, do I make you feel like you’re still my priority?
    • Do you have any deal-breakers, things that would make you seriously reconsider our relationship?
    • What was the very first thing you thought about me?
    • When did you first think I was attractive?
    • How long do you think people should wait before having kids?
    • What did you learn about marriage from your parents?
    • What did you learn about physical affection from your parents?
    • What is your favorite book?
    • What is your favorite song?
    • What was your first favorite movie, as a child?
    • What do you want to do when you retire?
    • Do you ever picture having grandchildren?
    • What’s another career that you think you would love?
    • What’s your favorite physical feature of your own?
    • Who was your favorite teacher when you were a child?
    • What’s your favorite memory with your mom?
    • What’s your favorite memory with your dad?
    • Which significant other before me had the biggest impact on you?
    • What did you think after your first sexual experience?
    • Did you like high school or college better?
    • Where have you always wanted to travel?
    • Did you ever consider a totally different career path?
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      • What was your favorite class in high school?
      • What was the best party you ever went to?
      • What’s the happiest you ever felt?
      • What’s the most anxious you ever felt?
      • What’s the angriest you ever felt?
      • Do you believe in God?
      • What’s a question you’ve never asked me?
      • What’s your favorite personality trait of your own?
      • Which of your personality traits do you wish you could change?
      • Have you ever gotten really obsessed with some topic?
      • Did you collect stuff as a child?
      • Which of your parents did you go to when you wanted to talk?
      • What’s the most scared you ever felt, as a child?
      • What’s the accomplishment you are most proud of?
      • Where do you want to be living in 10 years?
      • Which of your friends would you choose if you had to be on a desert island with just one?
      • Which of your friends is most like you?
      • What do you think about couples who are married but live in different cities?
      • What do you think about couples who own a business together and spend all their time together?
      • Which would you like most: a summer house, a year-long vacation, or a boat?
      • What would you do with a million dollars?
      • What would you do with an extra $1,000 to spend only on yourself?
      • When you were a kid, did you feel that you fitted in?
      • What was your favorite subject in middle school?
      • Did you go through puberty before or after everyone else, or right on time?
      • Who was your first crush?
      • Who was your first kiss?
      • Who was the first person to have a crush on you?
      • Do you think of yourself as an introvert or an extrovert?
      • If you could go back in time, what age would you be again?
      • If you could see into the future, what would you want to know?
      • What’s your greatest talent?
      • What is your most unique trait?
      • What makes me different from the other people you’ve been with?
      • What is the best thing about our relationship?
      • Do you ever compare yourself to other guys/girls?
      • Which of my friends do you think is the most fun?
      • Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?
      • When you wake up in the middle of the night, what do you think about?
      • If you had to change one thing about yourself, what would you pick?
      • Do you think I’m more of an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?
      • As a teenager, did you ever rebel against your parents?
      • Who’s the closest person to you in your extended family?
      • Did you ever want more or fewer siblings?
      • How did you siblings shape who you are?
      • What was your favorite date night we ever had?
      • What are your secret thoughts when you see me at the end of the day?
      • Do you ever wish I could read your mind? When?
      • What things about me make you know I’m the one for you?

      Whew! That was a long list. Now go make reservations, and there is no excuse if you end up talking about the cat vomiting on the rug.

      More Dating Ideas for Couples

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      18 Ways To Bring More Fun Into Your Romance

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      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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      Last Updated on April 6, 2020

      10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

      10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

      Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

      Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

      Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

      So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

      1. Be Authentic

      To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

      Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

      Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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      2. Listen

      Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

      To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

      Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

      Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

      3. Become an Expert

      Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

      You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

      4. Lead with Story

      From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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      If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

      5. Lead by Example

      It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

      ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

      We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

      6. Catch People Doing Good

      A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

      Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

      7. Be Effusive with Praise

      It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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      Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

      8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

      I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

      The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

      If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

      9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

      The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

      The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

      If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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      10. Understand Your Lane

      If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

      Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

      You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

      Final Thoughts

      Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

      It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

      More Tips About Making Influence

      Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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