Advertising
Advertising

It Just Takes One Person to Change Your Life: This Random Woman Shows Obese Guy What He’s worth

It Just Takes One Person to Change Your Life: This Random Woman Shows Obese Guy What He’s worth

Isn’t it amazing how one person can change your life? Not because there was something wrong or because you needed to; you’ve just subconsciously make a decision to better yourself because of them.

These are the people whom you look forward to speaking to everyday. They can make your day with a simple “Hello.” They brighten up your day just by being at your side. They have the power to alter the way you think because you’re able to see things from their perspective as well as your own. Just by spending time with someone, you tend to pick up their tendencies, their mannerisms and their values without realizing it. It’s so nice to have that one person who takes the time to care about you, to ask about your day, and to worry about you.

You could meet this person anywhere at any time. You just have to be patient and open to those around you. You could meet them at your local gym, at the supermarket, while walking your dog, or you might even roll down your window to talk to them while stuck in a traffic jam. You could meet them absolutely anywhere—just don’t give up hope!

However, what if you never met the person physically? Can a person online via a chat room, social media site, email, or even a game have the same type of impact on someone? There are a number of communities online that offer help and support to individuals for endless amounts of problems and situations, from drug abuse to being new parents.

Advertising

But what about something as simple as a game application on your phone? One that chooses your opponent for you from all the thousands or millions of users. What are the odds that a game would match you with the person who has the ability to change you and your life for the better? Pretty slim right? Probably so small, it’s not worth considering?

Well let me introduce Brian Flemming and Jackie Eastham, who met on a popular iPhone app.

ParisDec2013169jpg-3144765_p9

    Draw Something is a very popular and simplistic game, similar to Pictionary. You simply get an item to draw for your opponent to guess as quickly as possible. At the end of the game you have the option to write comments to one another. You can also communicate via writing words instead of images. This ability to communicate saved Brian’s life.

    Advertising

    Brian Flemming was morbidly obese, depressed and was an alcoholic. Brian would eat fast food every day and drink a fifth of vodka mixed with a litre of soda every night. He had dropped out of college, and at the age of 30, he would spend endless hours playing games and distract himself from his depression by overeating and drinking away his problems. This type of lifestyle would have most definitely lead to Brian’s death, had it not been for Jackie Eastham. He never would have imagined that she could save him from his 625lbs depressing life.

    Brian1-e1393536668888

      Jackie Eastham is 20 years older than Brian and suffers from a condition called Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy. This is a form of muscular dystrophy which generally weakens muscles and causes muscle wasting in the hands, feet, face and neck, but can spread to other parts of the body. Jackie lives a very conscious, healthy lifestyle because of her condition and could easily tell that Brian was wasting his life and seriously damaging his body and his long-term health.

      Advertising

      article-2615082-1D6CF7F200000578-231_634x724

        Brian confided in Jackie about his weight, his depression and his drinking problems. Jackie soon inspired him to stop drinking. He lost 100lbs from that alone in the first month. From here he decided to start eating healthy and exercising. Jackie, with her experience and wisdom, was able to coach Brian and encourage him every step of the way.

        article-2615082-1D6CF7EE00000578-722_634x357

          Almost a year after they met on Draw Something, Brian had lost 400lbs, got a new job, was in therapy, and was training for his first marathon.

          Advertising

          BrianFeature-e1394465655256

             

            article-2615082-1D6CF81500000578-495_634x631

              Brian, who lives in America, traveled to Paris to finally meet Jackie, who he calls his champion. While in Paris, they climbed the Eiffel Tower together. Brian has said on his blog (which describes his whole journey), that “Jackie is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I feel that she saved my life, even though she would never take credit.”

              article-2615082-1D6CF82600000578-274_634x663 Christmas-holiday-2013-1871

                From Brian and Jackie’s inspirational story, we can learn that it’s never too late to change your own life or help someone else change theirs for the better. You’re never too far away to make a difference.

                More by this author

                Effective Ways To Stop Negative Thoughts From Getting You Down Get Healthy and In Shape: 15 Diet Myths Debunked! 10 Things Only People With Orthorexia (Eating Disorder) Would Understand When You Start To Pick Up Running, These 13 Amazing Things Will Happen 15 Simple Exercises and 20 Easy Recipes That Keep Your Heart Healthy

                Trending in Communication

                1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

                Read Next

                Advertising
                Advertising
                Advertising

                Last Updated on May 21, 2019

                How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

                If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

                Example 1

                You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

                You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

                In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

                Example 2

                You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

                People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

                You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

                Example 3

                You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

                Advertising

                The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

                Example 4

                You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

                Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

                If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

                Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

                • Understand your own communication style
                • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
                • Communicate with precision and care
                • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

                1. Understand Your Communication Style

                To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

                In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

                Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

                2. Learn Others Communication Styles

                Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

                Advertising

                If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

                “How do you prefer to receive information?”

                This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

                To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

                3. Exercise Precision and Care

                A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

                On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

                Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

                I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

                I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

                Advertising

                In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

                The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

                Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

                4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

                Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

                In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

                “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

                Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

                Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

                It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

                Advertising

                It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

                It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

                Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

                Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

                The Bottom Line

                When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

                I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

                More Articles About Effective Communication

                Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

                Reference

                Read Next