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It Just Takes One Person to Change Your Life: This Random Woman Shows Obese Guy What He’s worth

It Just Takes One Person to Change Your Life: This Random Woman Shows Obese Guy What He’s worth

Isn’t it amazing how one person can change your life? Not because there was something wrong or because you needed to; you’ve just subconsciously make a decision to better yourself because of them.

These are the people whom you look forward to speaking to everyday. They can make your day with a simple “Hello.” They brighten up your day just by being at your side. They have the power to alter the way you think because you’re able to see things from their perspective as well as your own. Just by spending time with someone, you tend to pick up their tendencies, their mannerisms and their values without realizing it. It’s so nice to have that one person who takes the time to care about you, to ask about your day, and to worry about you.

You could meet this person anywhere at any time. You just have to be patient and open to those around you. You could meet them at your local gym, at the supermarket, while walking your dog, or you might even roll down your window to talk to them while stuck in a traffic jam. You could meet them absolutely anywhere—just don’t give up hope!

However, what if you never met the person physically? Can a person online via a chat room, social media site, email, or even a game have the same type of impact on someone? There are a number of communities online that offer help and support to individuals for endless amounts of problems and situations, from drug abuse to being new parents.

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But what about something as simple as a game application on your phone? One that chooses your opponent for you from all the thousands or millions of users. What are the odds that a game would match you with the person who has the ability to change you and your life for the better? Pretty slim right? Probably so small, it’s not worth considering?

Well let me introduce Brian Flemming and Jackie Eastham, who met on a popular iPhone app.

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    Draw Something is a very popular and simplistic game, similar to Pictionary. You simply get an item to draw for your opponent to guess as quickly as possible. At the end of the game you have the option to write comments to one another. You can also communicate via writing words instead of images. This ability to communicate saved Brian’s life.

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    Brian Flemming was morbidly obese, depressed and was an alcoholic. Brian would eat fast food every day and drink a fifth of vodka mixed with a litre of soda every night. He had dropped out of college, and at the age of 30, he would spend endless hours playing games and distract himself from his depression by overeating and drinking away his problems. This type of lifestyle would have most definitely lead to Brian’s death, had it not been for Jackie Eastham. He never would have imagined that she could save him from his 625lbs depressing life.

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      Jackie Eastham is 20 years older than Brian and suffers from a condition called Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy. This is a form of muscular dystrophy which generally weakens muscles and causes muscle wasting in the hands, feet, face and neck, but can spread to other parts of the body. Jackie lives a very conscious, healthy lifestyle because of her condition and could easily tell that Brian was wasting his life and seriously damaging his body and his long-term health.

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        Brian confided in Jackie about his weight, his depression and his drinking problems. Jackie soon inspired him to stop drinking. He lost 100lbs from that alone in the first month. From here he decided to start eating healthy and exercising. Jackie, with her experience and wisdom, was able to coach Brian and encourage him every step of the way.

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          Almost a year after they met on Draw Something, Brian had lost 400lbs, got a new job, was in therapy, and was training for his first marathon.

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              Brian, who lives in America, traveled to Paris to finally meet Jackie, who he calls his champion. While in Paris, they climbed the Eiffel Tower together. Brian has said on his blog (which describes his whole journey), that “Jackie is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I feel that she saved my life, even though she would never take credit.”

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                From Brian and Jackie’s inspirational story, we can learn that it’s never too late to change your own life or help someone else change theirs for the better. You’re never too far away to make a difference.

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                1 How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Dreams Happen 2 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively 3 How To Be Happy Alone and Enjoy Life 4 What Is Self-Worth and How to Recognize Yours 5 How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)

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                Last Updated on April 6, 2020

                10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

                10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

                Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

                Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

                Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

                So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

                1. Be Authentic

                To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

                Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

                Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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                2. Listen

                Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

                To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

                Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

                Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

                3. Become an Expert

                Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

                You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

                4. Lead with Story

                From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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                If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

                5. Lead by Example

                It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

                ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

                We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

                6. Catch People Doing Good

                A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

                Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

                7. Be Effusive with Praise

                It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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                Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

                8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

                I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

                The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

                If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

                9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

                The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

                The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

                If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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                10. Understand Your Lane

                If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

                Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

                You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

                Final Thoughts

                Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

                It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

                More Tips About Making Influence

                Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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