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Improve Your Self Esteem in 5 Steps

Improve Your Self Esteem in 5 Steps

Most of us struggle with poor self esteem in one way or another. Perhaps you’re too hard on yourself at work, or you struggle to strike out in new social situations. Healthy self esteem is vital to our development, our ability to take on challenges and our ability to make new relationships. Try these five simple steps to give your self esteem a much-needed boost.

1. Practice positive affirmations

Have you listened to your inner voice lately? What do you say to yourself? Are your words positive and full of encouragement, or are they harsh and loaded with criticism? Take some time to listen to the things you say to yourself. Those with low self esteem often report that they frequently tell themselves they are stupid when they make a mistake or that the challenge they are facing is going to be a disaster. Don’t be your own worst enemy! Confront negative self-talk and practice positive affirmations. It may feel uncomfortable at first but there’s nothing wrong with giving yourself praise. Stand tall, in front of a mirror, and recite positive statements about yourself, such as: “I am a great person”, “I can handle this challenge” or “I make a positive impact in my friends’ lives”. Over time you’ll begin to quiet the damaging side of your inner voice and embrace the positive affirmations that you are hearing.

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2. Acknowledge the things you are good at

Every single person is good at something. We’re taught, from a young age, to dismiss our talents for the sake of humility but that can lead to us being overly critical of ourselves or forming a negative self image. Certain life situations, such as applying for a new job, require us to mention our strong points. Don’t wait until the night before the interview to start connecting with your strengths. Acknowledge your abilities, aloud or to yourself, and don’t be tempted to follow each statement with a disclaimer or rebuttal. Again, listen to your self talk and the way that you refer to yourself in front of others. There is nothing wrong with saying, “Actually, I am good at that” or “This is one of my best features”.

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3. Celebrate the small wins (as well as the big ones!)

Society and the media love to focus on extremes–self-made millionaires, Olympic athletes, miraculous medical cures. But for most of us, these things will never happen and we learn to see ourselves as lesser than others who experience these unusually explosive achievements. Take some time to be think about your own wins in a realistic fashion. What have you accomplished recently? What made you feel good? By giving yourself positive reinforcement for everything you do, you’re challenging the idea that you won’t be successful/valuable/worthy until you achieve a certain (possibly unattainable) target. That’s not to say we can’t aim for bigger, better things but if we only focus on the enormous goals, we’re going to miss everything along the way. Focus on what’s real for you right now, don’t put off celebrating for the sake of achievements that may never come to fruition.

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4. Value yourself unconditionally

We’re all programmed to place conditions on our self worth. “I’m a valuable person because I…” We define success by fixed outcomes, like wealth, career progression or public acknowledgement. This is a disastrous move as it implies that we are nothing without certain accomplishments. Every person has value. Make a commitment to changing your attitude towards your self worth. Your worldly achievements are worth celebrating, but they do not define you. Recognise that you are valuable just as you are–simply for being you.

5. Accept compliments

How many times have you offered someone a compliment, only for them to say, “Oh no, you’re too kind” or “Oh that? It was nothing”? It’s the social norm to reject compliments, as accepting them can be considered cocky or self-obsessed. This is such a strange social construct; compliments given in ernest are meant to make us feel appreciated. What’s more, rejecting them feeds a message to our self conscious that we’re undeserving of compliments, or that praise doesn’t apply to us. I say, buck this strange trend and start graciously accepting compliments. You don’t need to say any more than, “Thank you,” if that’s all you feel comfortable with, but even the simplest acknowledgement will start to work on your self esteem.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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