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How to Not Let Words Hurt You

How to Not Let Words Hurt You

    “You’re fat.”

    “You’re ugly.”

    “Is that the best you can do?”

    “You suck.”

    The echoes of what someone else has said about you keeps repeating over and over in your head. You can’t seem to shut it out.

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    The worst part is, it has made you upset or extremely angered by that person who said those mean things about you. That’s all you feel and think about all day. Your day is ruined.

    Has this ever happened to you?

    We’re bound to meet people who hurt us

    During our lifetime, we meet all sorts of people. But not all of them end up being our friends. We all have different values and principles, so when we meet someone who differs in terms of viewing life, there’s bound to be conflict. And some are all too ready to express their disagreement, however nasty they want it to be.

    You may be caring too much about what others think.

    This is the underlying issue which a lot of us suffer from. We constantly care about what others think and how they see us. A lot of us do not like to be judged and we worry about the image we’re portraying to others. It may sound like a legitimate thing to do, as we do live in a society where we’ve to play by the rules, otherwise we may be shunned upon.

    However, how much is too much? Why care about what others think to the point that it ruins our day and even holds us back to the things we truly want to do?

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    That is why the words which come out from others’ mouths hurt us. We let them hurt us. And there’s no point in that when it comes to our emotional well-being.

    How to not let others’ words hurt you

    These are the steps I take to making sure I don’t get hurt by others and what they say. It may not be the perfect solution, but the way I see it, they are the basic tips which, when applied, can actually surprise you with the results you want.

    Replace it with a positive thought

    When someone insults you or say something which you completely disagree with, it keeps repeating in our heads over and over. The reason it keeps going through in our heads is that, more than not, we are taught to deal head on with it. We are told to rationalize it, reason with it and even analyze it…which ends up being an ironic cycle as you passively deal with the thought, which is harming you in the first place.

    Simply realize that these are just mere thoughts going through your head. Replace the thought with a more positive one. It could be a good memory, an optimistic view of the future or some cool scenario you’d really like to live. Maybe you’d call that wishful thinking, but if they’re just mere thoughts, why use negative ones and let them ruin your day?

    Don’t let the hurtful words of others take control of your mind. Your mind is your mind, so control your thoughts and cheer yourself up.

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    Retort their words

    A lot of times people’s words hurt us because we did not do a thing about it. We didn’t retort and make a stand for ourselves.

    You may think, “Oh I just didn’t want to cause trouble,” or “It just wasn’t worth it”. But you may not realize that you’re simply repressing yourself. And when you’re repressed, you feel a void. That’s where the hurt comes from.

    To not let others hurt you, you ought to stand up for yourself and make a retort when you disagree with what they say. This allows for expression, which pretty much helps to clear up the negativity inside you. Trust me — it will make you feel a lot better when you express yourself. You will at least know that you did your best and everything you could against things you disagree with.

    Avoidance

    The last tip is to simply avoid people who’re there to hurt you.

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    The problem here is that people always have an excuse to why they hang out with people they don’t like. Some people hang out with people they dislike because of their job or they don’t want to come across as petty. The way I see it, you ought to take responsibility for your own life. You may have your own commitments, but it doesn’t mean you can’t make the effort to surround yourself with positive people, which is something people forget.

    So forget about commitments or living up to expectations for a second. Change your surroundings instead and get positive people along. It will make a difference and people aren’t going to be saying hurtful things to you.

    Getting hurt by others’ words is a very common issue all of us face in life. Unless you’re extremely positive in life and totally focused, it’s hard to not let others bother you. Hopefully these tips will make a big difference. Give them a try and let me know in the comments what you’ve done (or are doing) to not let words hurt you.

    (Photo credit: Abusive Words Hurt via Shutterstock)

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    Last Updated on October 9, 2018

    27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

    27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

    Who has never gone through some ups and downs in the life? But some people can feel better in a quicker way than others because they’ve found their own remedies to heal the bad feelings.

    If you haven’t found yours, these ways will help you instantly feel better and ditch that negative self talk when you’re feeling bad about yourself:

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    1. Listen to the songs you loved when you were in high school or university, this will recall you of the old good times.
    2. Write something. Write down how you feel as a way to express your thoughts if you don’t feel like talking to anyone.
    3. Draw something. Draw anything you want because no one’s going to judge your drawing skills.
    4. Read the postcards or letters your friends or family sent you before, remind yourself there are people who always remember you.
    5. Silently think of a day or moment which you truly enjoyed and try to recapture that very first feeling. Was it the day of your graduation? The moment you traveled with your loved one?
    6. Take out your photo albums and go over your childhood photos.
    7. Cry when you feel like doing so. There’s nothing wrong with crying; cry out all your fear and stress and just face the truth after crying.
    8. Sing loudly like no one can hear you. Do you know that in Japan, people always sing karaoke to relieve stress?
    9. Cook a nice meal for yourself or for your family.
    10. Read your previous diary entries and look at your great memories.
    11. Dress up nicely to feel happier.
    12. Don’t stay in your bed! Get your laptop or a book and sit in a coffee place.
    13. Take a walk outside and feel the fresh air.
    14. Sweat yourself! Go jogging or play some sports.
    15. Pick up the musical instrument you used to play a lot and start to play it.
    16. Tidy up your desk or wardrobe, you’ll feel good that you’re being productive and actually doing something.
    17. Watch some funny videos, sure you can find a lot of them on Youtube.
    18. Eat something you like, be it a chocolate cake, or an ice-cream. Just please yourself with the flavour you like.
    19. Re-read your favorite book and write down the sentences or passages that you love.
    20. Watch a new movie, there must be a movie which you’ve always interested in but had no time to watch it.
    21. Do something nice that no one will notice, say picking up a rubbish in the street and throw it to a trash bin.
    22. Call your best friend and just talk whatever you want! Human beings are social animals after all, connecting with people close to you will make you feel better.
    23. Do voluntary work and help people in need, you’ll feel happy and satisfied.
    24. Get drunk with your close friends at home – a safe place for you to get drunk and get crazy. Let loose and have fun with your very close friends.
    25. Write an email or a note to a friend who you care about.
    26. Get out of your routine life and meet new friends. Get out of your comfort zone! Meeting new people can give you new inspirations in life.
    27. Look into the mirror and smile. Act like today’s already a wonderful day. How we act affects how we feel. It’s difficult to go on feeling sad if you’re trying to smile!

    Remember:

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    It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.  — Epictetus

    If you want to feel better, change what you’re doing because obviously what you’re doing doesn’t make you happy!

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    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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