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Last Updated on January 19, 2021

Do This One Thing To Comfort Your Overwhelming Negativity

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Do This One Thing To Comfort Your Overwhelming Negativity

We all know that feeling when you have a problem in your life and nothing seems like you can solve it. Whether you’ve tried something a million times and it isn’t working, or you’ve even tried just once, the negative voices in your mind can shoot you down and sabotage your success. Basically, you feel awful. It may feel strange, but perhaps you should try the following suggestions.

Talk to yourself and face your very deep and true self

Yes, really, talking to yourself can have real positive effects on your life and help you to get out of that cycle of negativity (maybe just make sure there’s no one around while you’re trying this out).

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As well as hearing new messages you hadn’t heard before from others, talking to yourself gives you time to listen to yourself – really listen. How often do we take the time to do that? This is important, because we don’t get the best out of life until we are fully connected to ourselves.

This might feel strange and even a little scary at first, if you’re not used to it. An easy way to find out what is going on for you is to start by asking yourself, “What do I need right now?” or “Hello me, what’s up?”

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Hearing that answer can get you connected to yourself in a wonderful way, and the more connected we are, the more we know how to be in the world, and what our next move should be.

If you are really wound up about something and need a way of letting go, you could try talking non-stop to yourself. Just let the words flow until you feel something shift. In the book, The Valkyries[1] by Paolo Coehlo, this talking to yourself without thinking is called channeling. It is a way of getting in touch with yourself, and, for the more religious of you, the universe, God, or whatever.

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Either way, it’s a good stress release. It allows you to shift the negative energy cycle you’ve got going on so you can begin focusing on what you actually want to be doing.

Repetition of mantras can also be a great way of resetting your head space if you had a bad start to your day or something unexpected threw you off course.

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Talk to others in your head

When talking to others in our head, we basically end up using the linguistic part of our brains, as well as the interactive part of our brains that we would use if someone were actually there. This shows how powerful this practice can be, as there has been a long history of people in times of great difficulty hearing a little voice of advice in their darkest hour.[2]

This sometimes can occur naturally when asking yourself a question (as we see in Eat, Pray, Love), or something that you can begin to consciously practice in order to find the answers you need.

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If there is a friend in your life that can help you with a problem, imagine having them by your side. I have a friend who is very wise, and when I am unsure of something, I will ask myself, “what would he do? What would he tell me?” Of course you can really call these people who are close to you, and feel them rooting for you. Hear their advice. This advice may well be your own inner knowing that you couldn’t hear underneath all of the negative chatter.  The answer I hear back is always right.

So there you have it. I hope that this little tip will help you to get some clarity in your life. Hearing what you have to say is the first step to knowing what you have to say is of importance. From there, you can find your way to the next best step to take for you, and then the next, without struggling and trying so hard or swimming against the stream. Find out what’s really going on behind all this negativity and you will have the key to your future.

Reference

[1] Paolo Coehlo: The Valkyries 
[2] The New Yorker: The Voices In Our Head

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Daniel Owen van Dommelen

Coder, Director, Writer, Human

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

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How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Learn how to boost your confidence: How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence

Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

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So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

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Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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