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8 Conversation Hacks That Make People Like You

8 Conversation Hacks That Make People Like You

Knowing how to get the conversation started is important; however, keeping it going is even more important. Consider using a conversation hack to ensure that you’ll be a well-liked conversationalist. Here are 8 to try out:

1. Invite People to Share About Their Lives

The single most important conversation hack is to invite people to talk about their lives. Almost everyone enjoys talking about themselves. Show an interest in hearing about a person’s history, family, ideas, or goals and it will likely get the conversation going right away.

Just make sure you don’t pry or become nosy. If a person appears uncomfortable sharing something personal, change the subject to a more neutral topic.

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2. Give Welcomed Feedback

Give feedback on what the person is talking about. Just make sure that your feedback is welcomed. Be positive and diplomatic in your feedback. Remaining honest is important, however, because the other person will see that you are being genuine rather than simply agreeing with everything you hear.

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions require more than just a yes-or-no answer. Ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to start discussing a topic in detail.

For example, ask, “What made you decide to pursue nursing?” Or, “How did you like living in Hawaii?” These questions really encourage another person to offer information about their story and they invite them to share their opinion.

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4. Wait for Your Turn to Talk

Whatever you do, don’t interrupt. Instead, wait patiently for your turn to talk. Interrupting is one of the quickest ways to shut down a conversation and irritate the other person.

Show that you value what others are saying. Truly listen to what is being said rather than trying to think of what you will say next.

5. Repeat and Rephrase What You Hear

Before jumping in to express your opinion, rephrase what you hear. Start out by repeating the last three words the other person said. Then try to rephrase the rest of what was said in your own words.

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This shows that you were listening and helps clarify what you heard. The other person can point out any discrepancies and can ensure that you truly understood what was being communicated. It will also prevent you from jumping in and expressing your opinion before ensuring you really understood.

6. Say, “Tell Me More”

Saying, “Tell me more,” is a great conversation hack because it invites the other person to provide more details without prying. If your co-worker tells you that he’s thinking of looking for a new job, simply reply by saying, “Tell me more.” He can decide how much information he wants to reveal.

This can work well with friends, family, co-workers, or someone you are meeting for the first time. It shows people you are truly invested in hearing what they have to say.

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7. Request Advice

Asking for advice shows that you value someone else’s opinion. Just because you ask for advice, it doesn’t mean you have to follow it. Be willing to respectfully listen to someone else’s point of view.

You can ask for advice on both serious and simple things in life. Ask your co-worker if she likes your new jacket or ask a friend how you should handle a situation. Asking for advice can make others feel important.

8. Ask for an Explanation

Ask for an explanation of how something works. Asking someone else to explain something to you shows that you think that person is smart and has something valuable to teach you. If someone is talking about something you don’t understand, speak up and ask for an explanation.

If your friend says he just finished installing a new app on his computer, ask for an explanation of how it works. Or, if your friend says he was successful in approaching his boss for a raise, ask him how he did it. Asking for explanations invites others to share and teach you, which can be a great conversation hack.

More by this author

Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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