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8 Conversation Hacks That Make People Like You

8 Conversation Hacks That Make People Like You

Knowing how to get the conversation started is important; however, keeping it going is even more important. Consider using a conversation hack to ensure that you’ll be a well-liked conversationalist. Here are 8 to try out:

1. Invite People to Share About Their Lives

The single most important conversation hack is to invite people to talk about their lives. Almost everyone enjoys talking about themselves. Show an interest in hearing about a person’s history, family, ideas, or goals and it will likely get the conversation going right away.

Just make sure you don’t pry or become nosy. If a person appears uncomfortable sharing something personal, change the subject to a more neutral topic.

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2. Give Welcomed Feedback

Give feedback on what the person is talking about. Just make sure that your feedback is welcomed. Be positive and diplomatic in your feedback. Remaining honest is important, however, because the other person will see that you are being genuine rather than simply agreeing with everything you hear.

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions require more than just a yes-or-no answer. Ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to start discussing a topic in detail.

For example, ask, “What made you decide to pursue nursing?” Or, “How did you like living in Hawaii?” These questions really encourage another person to offer information about their story and they invite them to share their opinion.

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4. Wait for Your Turn to Talk

Whatever you do, don’t interrupt. Instead, wait patiently for your turn to talk. Interrupting is one of the quickest ways to shut down a conversation and irritate the other person.

Show that you value what others are saying. Truly listen to what is being said rather than trying to think of what you will say next.

5. Repeat and Rephrase What You Hear

Before jumping in to express your opinion, rephrase what you hear. Start out by repeating the last three words the other person said. Then try to rephrase the rest of what was said in your own words.

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This shows that you were listening and helps clarify what you heard. The other person can point out any discrepancies and can ensure that you truly understood what was being communicated. It will also prevent you from jumping in and expressing your opinion before ensuring you really understood.

6. Say, “Tell Me More”

Saying, “Tell me more,” is a great conversation hack because it invites the other person to provide more details without prying. If your co-worker tells you that he’s thinking of looking for a new job, simply reply by saying, “Tell me more.” He can decide how much information he wants to reveal.

This can work well with friends, family, co-workers, or someone you are meeting for the first time. It shows people you are truly invested in hearing what they have to say.

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7. Request Advice

Asking for advice shows that you value someone else’s opinion. Just because you ask for advice, it doesn’t mean you have to follow it. Be willing to respectfully listen to someone else’s point of view.

You can ask for advice on both serious and simple things in life. Ask your co-worker if she likes your new jacket or ask a friend how you should handle a situation. Asking for advice can make others feel important.

8. Ask for an Explanation

Ask for an explanation of how something works. Asking someone else to explain something to you shows that you think that person is smart and has something valuable to teach you. If someone is talking about something you don’t understand, speak up and ask for an explanation.

If your friend says he just finished installing a new app on his computer, ask for an explanation of how it works. Or, if your friend says he was successful in approaching his boss for a raise, ask him how he did it. Asking for explanations invites others to share and teach you, which can be a great conversation hack.

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Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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