“Being who you are is another way of accepting yourself.”
How do you deal with low-energy days? We all have our highs and lows, but very often we expect too much from ourselves. Our own standards seem to demand that we are on top form all day and every day!
Often, I have had to cope with bad days when nothing goes right and I feel the safest thing is to lock myself in. Actually, changing plans because of my low energy has often helped me get through the trough of low pressure. If there is enough flexibility in my day, I can do one or several of the following:Advertising
- I usually put off a difficult task or decision so that I can cope with it when I am at my best.
- Allow myself to rest at low points of the day, so a snooze (max 30 minutes) after lunch is fine.
- Treat myself to some dark chocolate.
- Go into my garden and smell the lavender and the rosemary to lift mood and feel more alert. One study shows that subjects exposed to this sort of aromatherapy performed better on math tests.
These hacks are fine for short-term relief but you may have to look at more long-term strategies to help you deal with these off days. Here are 7 things to help you do that.
1. Be compassionate with yourself.
Forget about all the things you have not yet achieved or even finished. Stop beating yourself up and being so judgemental. Try to be a little kinder with yourself. Let go of the ‘should’ and the ‘must’ for a change. This is the advice given by Judith Orloff in her book Positive Energy .
2. Stop thinking about your emotions.
In addition to the low energy, there are also feelings of lack of motivation, hurt, resentment, frustration and anger. We love to talk to ourselves about these emotions in our head. We talk, rationalize and explain it all to ourselves for the hundredth time! This is why I love the video below because it tells us to express the emotions, if we can. Much more satisfying and uplifting.Advertising
3. Acknowledge the fact that you are tired.
Tell yourself that this is going to be a low key day. It is never a good idea to fight it. There are other things you can usefully do and today has the same number of hours as all the others.
4. Limit your bad news time.
We are surrounded by bad news on all forms of media, from TV to smartphones. It seems that there are endless news bulletins with upsetting news. I sometimes think it must have been wonderful to live in Medieval times when any news was drip fed to the population.
5. Keep an eye on what you eat.
I used to suffer from terrible leg cramps which caused me to jump out of bed in agony. I discovered that making sure I had enough magnesium and Vitamin B in my diet was the answer. That solved the problem and gave me more energy too. Other dietary things to consider are:
- Ramp up on protein (eggs, cheese) at breakfast.
- Reduce simple carbs so that sugar crashes mid morning are less frequent. These can really floor you.
- Aim for smaller, frequent mini meals/snacks rather than a full blown lunch. The energy you need to digest a large meal can make you feel very lethargic.
- Try fruit breaks. Opt for watermelon, bananas, kiwi and pineapples, which are rich in potassium and magnesium.
6. Pamper yourself.
We talked about being kind to yourself so let us put this into action:Advertising
- Cuddle up with a relaxing book.
- Take a long bath or shower.
- Go for a walk in a pleasant neighborhood with trees and flowers.
- Listen to your favorite music and sing along if you want to.
- Go for a coffee at your favorite bar.
- Practice mindfulness. Enjoy the smells, sounds and sights around you.
- A good stretching routine can easily replace your run or workout at the gym.
7. Kick that mood.
Fatigue and bad moods often go hand in hand. Think about why this bad mood is a recurring episode. It could be due to stress and conflicts in relationships and at work. It could be simply that you are overworking. Think about how you react to your workload and people at work or close to you. This is often the key to understanding our moods.
One of the best ways of lifting your mood in the short term is to practice gratitude. Do a reality check and repeat the things that you are so blessed to have.
Finally, don’t wait too long for those clouds to pass over. Remember also that using technology too much can zap your energy. The best advice of all is to accept yourself and keep moving forward.
“Accept yourself as you are. Otherwise you will never see opportunity. You will not feel free to move toward it; you will feel you are not deserving.”
Featured photo credit: Man sleeping at work/hnporadna.hnonline.sk via hnonline.sk
Last Updated on September 17, 2018
7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck
Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.
Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.
When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).
Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:
1. You’re depressed about your home life.
No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.
However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.
If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.
When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.
You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.
2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.
Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.
If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.
You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.
If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.
3. You can’t stop snooping.
Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.
I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.
Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.
So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.
It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.
If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.
4. You’re afraid of commitment.
If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.
Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.
No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.
If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.
Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.
5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.
If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.
Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.
Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.
Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.
If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?
6. You resent, rather than love your partner.
When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.
When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.
If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.
7. You chase past feelings.
It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.
You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.
When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.
If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.
Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com