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7 Sure-Fire Tips for Conflict Resolution

7 Sure-Fire Tips for Conflict Resolution

We live in a world that’s filled with conflict. When you’re a kid, conflict resolution is easy. All you have to do is scream loudly enough for an adult to intervene and end it. Resolving conflict as an adult gets a bit more difficult. It’s not that it’s complicated. It just takes patience and perseverance. Here are 7 surefire tips for conflict resolution:

1. Keep A Cool Head – The first thing you need to understand about conflict is that it can escalate very quickly when emotions get involved. Some people aren’t able to verbalize their thoughts and may get frustrated, which can lead to violence. Before taking on any conflict, stop and breathe for a moment. Keep calm, gather your thoughts, and make sure you keep the conflict civil.

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2.  Decide What Outcome You Want – Before you can resolve a conflict, you have to decide what you want to accomplish. Are you trying to change someone’s mind about a personal belief? Are you defending yourself or a loved one? What’s more important: the issue or the person? If you can’t answer these questions, then why are you involving yourself in the conflict? Maybe the best thing to do is drop it. If you feel the conflict is worth pursuing, continue reading.

3.  Be Willing To Compromise – It doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong. If both parties didn’t believe they were right, there wouldn’t be a conflict in the first place. Sometimes people argue with you just for the sake of argument. Understand that you can’t win every battle. You’re going to have to give up a little in order to achieve resolution. Conflicts don’t have to have a loser. Decide what’s most important to you, swallow your pride, and give up the rest so that everyone has a chance to win.

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4.  Listen… Actually Listen – How can you find the middle if you don’t know where both ends are? The only way you can meet in the middle is by understanding both sides of the argument. If you’re unwilling to listen to the other person’s side, they’ll be unwilling to listen to yours. By actually listening, you’ll be able to relate to the other side. You may think you already know their side, but may not know the full story. Even if you do, it’s much easier to hold someone’s hand and walk alongside them to your side of the issue rather than telling them what they should do. If you want to lead, do it by example.

5.  Avoid Personal Attacks – Never insult the other person. People tend not to agree with someone who insults them. Avoid belittling, sarcasm, sighs, and eye rolls. Think of yourself as a politician trying to win votes. Do you vote for people who insult your intelligence or attack you personally? If you want to stand a chance of converting someone to your side, they need to respect you. Respect is something that’s earned, and you don’t earn it with personal attacks.

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6.  Detach Yourself From The Result – No matter how well you argue your case, there’s always a chance that you won’t get the result you want. It may be necessary to cut your losses and walk away. A good way to end a conflict without either side admitting a loss is to agree to disagree. This means you’re both willing to live with the fact that you have differing opinions. It doesn’t mean that you should harbor resentment over the issue and continue pursuing it later.

7.  Once It’s Over, Drop It – Just like everything else in life, it’s important not to take conflicts too seriously. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Think about it – will this conflict stop the sun from rising? Are you willing to let someone ruin your appetite? Life goes on, and there’s no point in dwelling. Once the conflict is in the past, leave it there.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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