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6 Surprising Things That Affect Your Mood

6 Surprising Things That Affect Your Mood

Wouldn’t it be fantastic if everybody was in a good mood all the time? But all sorts of things like insomnia, too much coffee, a nagging doubt or an unresolved argument seems to play havoc with your mood. But there are surprising things that can affect your mood too. Read on to discover if they can help you understand your mood meter.

1. Sleep in total darkness – you will love it

Did you know your wake sleep cycle can be disrupted if you are not sleeping in total darkness? Studies show light pollution coming from neighboring houses, street lighting, and poorly made curtains plus the absence of shutters, can affect sleep quality negatively. It may also be a precursor for depression. Here are some tips to make sure you can sleep in total darkness:

  • Cover up digital clocks and any appliances with a LED
  • Forget about night lights
  • Use blackout curtains over your window
  • Consider using a face-mask if you can’t block light pollution
  • Don’t fall asleep with the light or TV on, if possible

Not just your mood but your overall health can improve. Poor sleep quality has been linked to heart disease, diabetes, aging and mental disorders. This was revealed in the book by T.S. Wiley, called “Lights Out: Sleep, Sugar and Survival.”

2. Your posture reveals everything about you

When I was a kid, I remember the words of the song by Val Doonican which went like this: “Walk tall, walk straight and / Look the world right in the eye / She said ‘Son, be a proud man’ / And hold your head up high.” Sound advice and I still remember those words today and I am nearly 70 years of age! Watch the video if you want to see what I grew up on.

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Was Val Doonican’s songwriter on to something? Well, he was, because when you walk confidently and hold your spine correctly, you are immediately conveying to yourself and others around you that you are confident, optimistic and self-assured. I have never met anybody who slouched or sat hunched at his or her desk who was nothing less than miserable, pessimistic and a loser.

Are there any studies to show this is really the case?  Professor Erik Peper at San Francisco State University asked over 100 students to note their energy levels when they slouched down a corridor. They were then asked to skip down the corridor. Of course, they noted in the questionnaires afterwards, they had decreased energy levels when slouching. Now, the next time you attend a job interview, tell the world with your posture you are the right person for the job. You can thank me later!

3. The weather affects your mood… and the stock market 

We all know we feel much happier, healthier and more confident on a sunny day. There are countless studies to show we are essentially a meteoropathic species.

But did you know the sunshine can affect the stock market too? Traders are more bullish and more likely to take calculated risks on a sunny day. This is the result of a study which took 15 years to complete and studied the effects of the weather on stock exchanges in 26 countries!

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4. Don’t wear black, please!

I live in Italy and the most popular color in fashion at the moment is black! Absolutely funereal in a sunny country. But it is associated with an elegant lifestyle, such as ‘black tie’ and ‘black limousine.’ The only relief for me is when I see Indian women in the street with their lovely, brightly-colored saris.

Color affects our mood and there are sound anthropological reasons for this. Our ancestors regarded red as a color of danger in that it represented danger from fire but also heat and energy. Even now, our hearts beat faster when we see red and naturally it has become the color for emergency services, anger and stop signs.

Our language is full of colors as well. Reflect on these examples:

  • I am really browned off
  • This is a golden opportunity
  • He is green with envy
  • She was as white as a sheet
  • Like a red rag to a bull
  • He has a yellow streak
  • He was the black sheep of the family

The psychology of color is a fascinating area and used extensively in marketing. There are many anecdotal references and studies subjective in nature. More rigorous scientific studies are needed here. But, if changing your outfit to a brighter color lifts your mood, go for it.

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5. Use social media sparingly

Have you updated your Facebook today? If you have, you are probably feeling better. Facebook can help reduce loneliness, boost friendship and increase self-esteem. How many times have we laughed at a funny video posted on our Facebook page!

The bad news is when Facebook and other social media start to take over they may result in depression, break up marriages and may be a contributory cause of eating disorders.

“Everything in moderation, including moderation.” Oscar Wilde

6. Money makes the world go round

Is money the root of all evil? Money can’t buy happiness. Lottery winners are not happier than the rest of us and often encounter endless problems with managing their money and relationships.

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Research now shows when we start to donate to charity and help the needy with cash, we are much happier than when we might spend that money on ourselves. This was described in a recent TED talk by Michael Norton, a Harvard business professor. The other side of the coin is when people get into debt and suffer from depression, they sometimes commit suicide.

The secret is to realize money only temporarily leads to pleasure. The most important thing is to learn how to manage our finances wisely.

“I cannot think of a more personally rewarding and appropriate use of wealth than to give while one is living—to personally devote oneself to meaningful efforts to improve the human condition.” Chuck Feeney

What things really affect your mood?  Let us hear about them in the comments below.

Featured photo credit: If you want a rainbow/Jessica Keating Photography via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

More Resources About Strengthening Communication Skills

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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