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Last Updated on November 26, 2020

5 Ways to Feel Confident in Under 5 Minutes

5 Ways to Feel Confident in Under 5 Minutes

If there is one event that is sure to strike fear in every fibre of your being, it is having to deliver a best man speech. It’s a mixture of honour that you have been asked, but also dread that you have to not only talk in front of hundreds of people, but are expected to be at least a little bit funny!

About a year ago, I had to be that guy when I was asked to be best man and deliver a speech. On the day, the moment crept closer and closer with each hour that passed. Feeling nervous, I needed to utilise every confidence trick I had in order to not appear like a mumbling wreck.

What is confidence?

When asked what prevents aspiring actors and directors from fulfilling their ambition, the famed director Francis Ford Coppola simply replied, “self-confidence”. When people think of confidence, it is seen as an elusive trait that others have but they don’t. They tell themselves that lack of confidence is why they don’t have the job they want, the partner they want, or the skills they need.

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The truth is confidence is what appears after you go for what you want; it is the result of stepping into the unknown in spite of feeling nervous or fearful. This can take time, however, and in the meantime there are certain tricks you can implement that temporarily make you feel confident while you work on confidence being a default habitual state.

Below are 5 patterns my clients and I have used in order to feel confident quickly. Have a play and notice how much more confident you feel afterwards.

1. Tall posture

Walk around any city and as you people-watch, pick out the ones who lack confidence. 9 times out of 10 the people you choose will be looking down at the ground, shoulders hunched forward, taking up as little space as possible. How you hold yourself physically plays a big part in how your hold yourself mentally, so in order to begin to feel confident, you should hold your body in a way that communicates confidence. This means standing tall, shoulders & head back, being aware of what is around you, and keeping hand motioning to an absolute minimum. After ensuring you adopt this posture, don’t be surprised when people start to see you as a confident individual.

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2. Change your environment

Recent research aimed at those who spent their whole day in offices found that spending just two minutes walking in areas with a lot of greenery can have a positive effect on one’s mood. The reason this worked was because when you change your environment you change the stimuli that is going into your brain—this affects your moment-by-moment perception of the world.

An example of this would be writers who feel their most creative in bustling coffee shops. In order to make full use of this pattern, think of places you frequent where you feel your most creative, happiest, relaxed. Aim to go to these places when you feel low in confidence.

3. Do something you are good at

Whenever you are doing something new, like speaking in public or learning a new skill, you are putting yourself in a position where you might fail. Web humans like to protect our egos, so we tend to feel bad when we fail and ultimately wonder if we should quit, but any skill that’s worthwhile will always be preceded by failure as you go through the process of learning.

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By combining this process with doing something you are good at, you won’t find yourself in the depths of despair 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When you do something you are good at, you feel good and your confidence is high. Be aware of your strengths and do them daily.

4. Reframe

Low confidence is always solidified with negative thoughts, and your thoughts will influence your behaviour and decision. A reframe can change the direction of your thoughts. The easiest way to reframe your thoughts are via questions: When you ask a question, your brain hunts for an answer, so you can take advantage of this by asking questions that can allow you to feel more confident. To give you a framework to make this work for you here are 3 starter questions;

1. How can I make this work in my favour?
2. What is the benefit that has come from this?
3. What is a more useful way of looking at this?

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Over the next week, when you catch yourself having negative thoughts, ask these 3 questions and notice how a change in your thinking has you feeling more confident.

5. Breath and future thought

Feelings that bring about low confidence like fear & anxiety can result in 2 effects; shallow breathing and thoughts of a disastrous future (seeing everyone laughing and throwing things at you as you speak, for example). You can counteract this by having periods of intentionally breathing deeply and visualising a future where you are handling situations in a controlled and confident manner. By doing this, you will begin to feel more confident in the present moment as a result. To get good at this so you can perform it in an instant, dedicate 5 minutes a day in a calm environment so you can rely on it when you need it most.

To conclude, we all have times when we need a confident boost. By regularly practicing these 5 patterns you will find yourself able to cope with those low moments much more efficiently and promptly.

Featured photo credit: Maria moresco via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on March 2, 2021

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success.

1. Become Aware of What’s Outside of Your Comfort Zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but, are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts but, your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become Clear About What You Are Aiming to Overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your look? Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get Comfortable with Discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

Here’re some tips to help you: How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change for a Better Self

4. See Failure as a Teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Check out these 10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On.

Also, grab The Foolproof Guide To Reaching Your Goals This Year. It’s a free guide that can help you to learn from your past mistakes and failures so you can move on to reach your goal. Get your free guide here.

5. Take Baby Steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps: The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

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6. Hang out with Risk Takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. Almost inevitably, their influence will start to have an effect on your behavior.

Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful.

7. Be Honest with Yourself When You Are Trying to Make Excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify How Stepping out Will Benefit You

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

9. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

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If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the Fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Final Thoughts

It will seem really scary at first to get out of your comfort zone. But as I said, you don’t need to jump right out of your comfort zone at once, you can take baby steps gradually.

As you slowly push past your comfort zone, you’ll feel more and more at ease about the new stuff which seemed so dangerous to you.

Take the first step and I’m sure you’ll make it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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