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5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It

5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It

If you don’t  have time to make friends and build a social life, then you’re probably going about it the wrong way. Here are 5 reasons why your social life isn’t improving and what to do about it.

1. You Doubt That You Deserve Better Friends

Many people have hit a plateau. They made friends and had a social life in the past, but they don’t think they can get to the next level.

If this sounds familiar, then just know that as your personality evolves, your friendship needs evolve too. Your old friends might be amazing people, but if some of them aren’t supporting you with your ambitions, then you need new ones.

Your social skills aren’t set in stone; and it’s not like you’re stuck in the pecking order. You can chose whom you want to hang out with, starting now.

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2. You Think You Don’t Have Time For It

Another reason people get lonely is that they wait for the right time to come. They think that socializing and friends require a huge chunk of time and energy. They figure, I don’t have any extra time, so I’ll worry about it later.

Well, have you ever told yourself that you don’t have time to go out and make friends? If that’s the case, I’d be curious to know what you do with all your time?

Indeed, some people have crazy shifts, like lawyers and doctors. But, if done right, your social life can be much easier and efficient than you imagine.

If you can dedicate one hour per week to catch up with people (calls, texts, messages, etc); and go out to meet them one evening every week, then that’s enough.

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3. You Think That Social Media Is Helping

Social media provides the illusion of connection. You share photos, status updates, links, and messages; but are you really connected?

The way I see it, social media helps with people you can’t meet because they live far away.  But if people are in your town, but you never meet other than online; let’s be honest, that’s not friendship. That’s the illusion of a connection.

And because it’s only a facade of social connection, it actually distracts you from what you’re really after. I recommend that you focus your time on a smaller number of friends; just the ones you actually want to meet and spend time with.

By focusing on fewer ‘real friends’ instead of many ‘online friends’, you quickly get a more honest look at your social life. And that honest perspective allows you to improve and have more of the friends you want.

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4. You Still Think You Can Make Friends “Anywhere”

There is an old idea that if you’re socially skilled, you can make friends anywhere you are. That can be true, but for your day-to-day life, it’s not very relevant.

You can’t just go to a bar or a public place and find people that would be “fit” to be your friends. Sure, you can find great people, but a public place is actually not the best place to create friendships.

Friendship works in a way that it needs context. It needs to be in an environment that bring people together so they create a connection with one another. That’s why I always recommend that you stick with communities, clubs, and groups.

You can research on the internet for a few minutes and find communities that meet in the real world. Make sure that you choose communities that are about something you’re interested in. It’s much easier to build friendships within a private community.

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5. You’re Not Improving Your Friendship Skills

Friendship is a skill like any other. If you haven’t “updated” your friendship knowledge and skill, then you’re depriving yourself of a real opportunity.

Sure, you may have learned a few things when you were younger. But making friends as a busy adult is very different from making friends as a kid or teenager.

If you’re living in a crazy-busy world, then you need new techniques and principles to have a decent social life. This is why I recommend that you put some conscious thought on how you’re going to make friends in the future.

It all starts with some curiosity and willingness to learn!

More by this author

What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It How To Quietly Build A Social Life

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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